Tired of self-centered teens and young adults

amother

Cornsilk

Sun, Apr 07 2024, 4:03 pm

amother Papaya wrote:

Im 35. I am the oldest and have gen alpha children and gen z siblings. Im a millennial and my parents are gen x.

I know exactly what the OP is talking about as I see it directly with my kids and siblings. Those getting offended are probably the newlyweds who still think the world revolves around them.

I think life is the best lesson. People grow up with life experience and struggles. The thing that can give a child their best shot is teaching resiliance and modeling boundaries and kindness.

I'm the one you probably think is getting offended. I promise you I'm not part of that generation. And I'm not lacking in maturity.

I'm actually old enough to have been around long enough to hear people saying similar things about your generation. It's called generational warfare and doesn't change. If you look into it, they've been saying similar things for hundreds of years. Maybe longer.

Be constructive. Take responsibility for your parenting. Learn to see life with a benevolent eye.

It'll make you a good role model for the next generation.

amother

Peru

Sun, Apr 07 2024, 4:10 pm

My work hired 5 young women this year. 3 of them are lovely, mature, and hard working. 2 of them are quite frankly obnoxious.
It seems that they have been told to stand up for themselves, which is very nice and all, but they've taken it to an extreme. Yelling at their superiors for perceived slights. Infuriated that employees who have been there for 20 years have more vacation days and have certain perks. Threatening to quit during the most difficult times because they were reprimanded for coming late.
Zero understanding that sometimes you follow rules even if you don't fully understand it.

The worst part is that I don't think they'll be learning through consequences any time soon because we are so desperate for manpower that they can't be fired. I hope they learn before marriage at least.

amother

Trillium

Sun, Apr 07 2024, 4:13 pm

amother Dandelion wrote:

No offense but frum people are terrible parents. They parent the stereotypical ways of rich people. Gd forbid their kids want for anything or feel any discomfort. Everyone MUST have the same as everyone else. Materialism is king.. You're raising a generation of narcissists and then wonder where you went wrong. Just a humble opinion

You are seriously overgeneralizing!

This is not our nor our kids and married kids experiences B"H

make your own choices! and take responsibility for them!

amother

Papaya

Sun, Apr 07 2024, 4:14 pm

amother Dandelion wrote:

I agree with this somewhat. I am personally not raising my kids this way but many are. My children are much less self centered than lots of other kids. My neices and nephews in Israel living even more simple lives are even less spoiled.

Peersupport

Sun, Apr 07 2024, 4:23 pm

I am of the firm belief that when someone starts seeing youngsters this way, they are past their prime in educating todays teens.

As long as you can effectively teach children and teens without blaming or shaming them, you know you're doing good. If you can no longer relate to today's generation it's time for you to move on.

amother

Sun, Apr 07 2024, 4:33 pm

If everyone who feels this way stops teaching, there would be no teachers left! All the teachers talk about this phenomenon. We all have to deal with it. It’s exhausting and disheartening.

It in no way means that we don’t love and care about our children/students!

amother

Papaya

Sun, Apr 07 2024, 4:36 pm

Peersupport wrote:

I disagree. Its not blaming and shaming to say anonymously online what you see in front of your eyes. Yes there are reasons and you can be understanding but noticing the truth doesnt make you an old grump past your prime.

I very much relate to my kids and they love me. I still see this generation as much more self centered than mine. In some ways thats a good thing. Much less tolerance for abuse. In other ways its not a good thing. Much less resilience.

Peersupport

Sun, Apr 07 2024, 4:41 pm

amother OP wrote:

How can you best educate them while thinking they are inherintly faulty? Every generation is different. That's a fact. I know that growing up we resented adults with opinions like these and did not respect them or feel safe sharing with them.

What are some strengths of this generation that you can share?

#BestBubby

Sun, Apr 07 2024, 4:53 pm

I blame modern parenting which has gone to an extreme. Parents are taught to allow children to express themselves without insisting that this be done respectfully. So parents allow children to scream at parents and blatant chutzpah.

Parents are also taught by the experts that if children are not given every luxury and privilege their friends have their children won't have any friends.

That's a recipe for a self centered entitled generation.

And even the non jewish experts write articles about the rise of narcissistic traits in the younger generation.

amother

Periwinkle

Sun, Apr 07 2024, 4:59 pm

I think most children and teens are self-centred. It's part of their immaturity and their belief in their egocentricity that the world is revolving around them. I think in previous generations, there was less of a childhood and teenagerhood, and children were expected to grow up at an earlier age. Now, the age of maturity is older and they're staying self-centred for longer.

amother

Papaya

Sun, Apr 07 2024, 5:04 pm

amother Charcoal wrote:

If you don't understand that this generation, unlike the previous one, grew up with a perception of a shaky, uncertain future, you can't understand the people.

Millenials grew up very insecure and are overall a pretty resilient generation.

I think social media also plays a very big part in the difficulties we are seeing today. Millennials weren't raised with social media.

amother

cornflower

Sun, Apr 07 2024, 5:15 pm

Listen to rebitzen tukachinsky
This generation is so emotionally and spiritually lost, and they are true giborim. If we were put in their shoes, we wouldn’t be able to even do as well as they are! it’s a generation of people who were born into a crazy world and don’t know who they are. They’re fight a battle bein adam l’atzmo, and it’s the greatest one that has been fought since the beginning of galus. You can either be their gentle molders and cheerleaders or their enemies and crush them.
(I am an older millennial)

amother

Snow

Sun, Apr 07 2024, 5:17 pm

My oldest is 12 and my chikdren are extremely well mannered and appreciative. This is making nervous that this glorious stage will end soon Sad

I'm a very not demanding parent and extremely into my kids and their needs... I spend a lot of quality time with them so I'm a typical white rich parent .... Yikes. Did I mess up?

amother

Dandelion

Sun, Apr 07 2024, 5:22 pm

amother OP wrote:

One of the reasons there's a massive teacher shortage!

amother

Charcoal

Sun, Apr 07 2024, 5:25 pm

amother Papaya wrote:

Millennials watched the illusion of safety shatter. Gen Z grew up on that trauma from the get go.