I love cosleeping | Imamother

amother

Gardenia

Wed, Apr 03 2024, 6:45 pm

Dolly Welsh wrote:

Of course.

But the day will come when it's not possible anymore. The kid will then wonder why he/she is being banished to another bed. While this is convenient and very pleasant for now, it might be kinder to the kid to not raise the expectation that he/she will sleep with you forever. Kids have no way of knowing phrases like "this is just for when you are very little." They think, "this is how things are."

So do a bit of both maybe and get the kid accustomed to not being in your bed.

I read about annoyed husbands who, when the kid is six months or more - and that comes fast - have about had it, with the kid in the marital bed.

My kid nursed and slept with me until over a year!! Now he is three years old, sometimes he likes to cuddle in my bed but then asks for his.

amother

Wandflower

Wed, Apr 03 2024, 6:53 pm

I cosleep with my babies. They transitioned mostly nicely to a bed.
The only one that hasn't transitioned well is my current adorable 3 year old who has always been a bad sleeper and slept with me for way too long. Every night is currently a struggle with her. (She had medical reasons for being in my room for so long compared to my other kids) She has a bed and starts there after lots of crying.

I currently have a newborn so if she comes she needs to go to dh bed. My rule is nobody in my bed besides the baby.

Rappel

Wed, Apr 03 2024, 7:03 pm

amother OP wrote:

Yes, this is what I'm worried about. But for now it's only half the night. Hopefully we'll move her into her own room after Pesach and can work on it then.

I wouldn't worry too hard. Babies should be with their mothers. It creates healthy attachment, which gives your child the confidence to move on in the world (or to the next room) later.

Cosleeping safely is a great thing you can do for your baby.

Signed,
A woman whom doesn't cosleep, but still knows it's right.

(I have two modes - deep sleep or one eye open, and neither are good for cosleeping. But I wish I could.)

yiddishmom

Wed, Apr 03 2024, 7:17 pm

Yes, science advancements are a big, big gift from Hashem. But it also has it's big downsidss..

One of them being, that science has completely robbed us of our motherly instincts and has created insane anxiety in this world.

So so many recommendations that are TRASH!!

Thankfully my mother never followed these recs, and I'm so not in to it either.

But, I do have trouble with my now 4 year old. He still comes to my room every night. But he also has an anxious personality. So not sure what might be a bigger factor, cosleeping with him, or his personality.

How did most of you gradually transition your children?

And BTW, I did not cosleep with my second because it didn't work for her. She always needed her own space.

Same goes for positioning. My first only slept well on his stomach. My second only slept well on her back.

It's so sad to see mother's agonizing what to do when they clearly know their child needs something, but it's "against recommendations"

I am not saying not to listen to anything out there. But a little bit of seichel and motherly instincts can do wonders!

amother

Bone

Wed, Apr 03 2024, 7:21 pm

I have a crib in my room. Starting at 6-12+ months (depending on the child) I start putting them into the crib for the beginning of the night and bringing into my bed either when they wake up or when I go to sleep.

At about 2 years old, when they sleep through many nights, I might move the crib out of my room. They are still welcome to come into my bed if they wake up.

At 3 or so they get their own bed. By this time they are sleeping through the night most nights so they rarely come to my bed.

By 4, maybe they'll come to my room in the middle of the night if they aren't feeling well.

It's worked so far for 9 of my kids!

amother

RosePink

Wed, Apr 03 2024, 8:04 pm

amother Celeste wrote:

I couldnt fully co sleep but I used a cosleeper bassinet with three sides that literally became an extension of my bed so it's the same idea.
My post partum anxiety is too bad to allow me to sleep with the baby next to me.

I am a big believer in baby wearing and am vax cautious lol...
I also bake sourdough LOL

I never baked sourdough, and frankly don't really like the taste. Is that's what's next? Surprised

amother

Tanzanite

Wed, Apr 03 2024, 8:17 pm

I co slept for about 6 months and loved it, I felt so close to my baby and was actually able to get sleep.
At a certain it very hard for me to fall asleep with my baby in my bed so I decided it was time to stop. I have a very small with no room for a crib so my baby moved out of my room. For the first two weeks I slept there with her, and then I started gradually sleeping there less (ie started the night in my bed and then came to her room when she woke up)
Bh she’s 10 months and now she is in her crib the whole night but I do come and rock her and feed her about 5 or 6 times a night (don’t come at me, I’m not into sleep training)
Bh that’s working for us now and I feel like I can function with that type of split sleep, something that was much harder for me when she was younger

Refine

Wed, Apr 03 2024, 9:05 pm

Is there something wrong with me that I really don't like it?
If the baby is in my bed, I feel like I'm sleeping with one eye open and am so tired in the morning! I also feel like I'm always on duty, never get a break and feel so burnt out. My back hurts from sleeping on my side, I like sleeping on my stomach.
They do end up in my bed at some point, though more than one baby fell out of my bed since they knew how to crawl but were too young to be cautious. Worst feeling ever.
Oh well, my instincts malfunctioned. Hopefully the kids will be ok.

Ema of 5

Wed, Apr 03 2024, 9:11 pm

Refine wrote:

Nothing wrong with you. It’s not for everyone.

amother

Melon

Wed, Apr 03 2024, 9:22 pm

Refine wrote:

I kind of felt the same way but it was the lesser of the evils when it came to managing my infants at night. Plus, I felt it was really good for them. Planning for it helps make it safer.

amother

Nemesia

Wed, Apr 03 2024, 10:01 pm

[quote="amother Celeste"]I couldnt fully co sleep but I used a cosleeper bassinet with three sides that literally became an extension of my bed so it's the same idea.
My post partum anxiety is too bad to allow me to sleep with the baby next to me.

I am a big believer in baby wearing and am vax cautious lol...
I also bake sourdough LOL

[/quote]

Do you have a link for this? I borrowed one of these for my last baby but it was old and I’m pregnant again and want to buy a new one.

amother

Bone

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 1:27 am

amother Magenta wrote:

I have some questions:
What do co-sleepers do if you wake up in the morning before baby. how do you make sure they don't fall out of the bed? Big fear of mine when I slept with a baby.
Also- does everyone have a bed near the wall? What if your bed isn't next to a wall, how do you have a baby sleep there?

I only use a bed near the wall. If I didn't, I wouldn't feel safe co-sleeping.

I have the same fear (not unfounded) of babies falling out of bed. (Even for going to the bathroom in the middle of the night.)

For a very small baby I put a pillow or rolled up blanket to block falls and check on them periodically. I never feel safe though.

Once my baby is mobile, I take my bed off the frame (put the frame into a closet) and keep my mattress on the floor. Slightly less comfortable but much less stressful.

amother

Slategray

Sun, Apr 07 2024, 11:12 pm

amother Magenta wrote:

My bed is not against a wall. Baby sleeps between me and DH. When I get up before baby, I line the edge of the bed with pillows and rolled blankets, but BH baby doesn't move much in her sleep. More importantly, DH is usually still in bed when I wake up so I feel safe leaving baby with someone (he is a light sleeper).

I'd actually feel less safe against a wall bc a baby could cvs get stuck between mattress and wall - happened to someone I know. (Baby was ok BH but they couldn't find him for a while!)

Also to put in my two cents: I'm a pretty heavy sleeper ("Man, that thunder was crazy last night." "There was thunder??") but Hashem made motherly instinct strong. If baby's breathing pattern changes I automatically wake up. I also wake up in the same exact position I went to sleep in, much to the chagrin of my back and neck.

As for accidentally cosleeping, etc - DEFINITELY more dangerous from what I've seen/heard. Once I was playing w baby exhausted, woke up to see her a second away from a horrible accident that BH didn't come to pass.

Another two cents: I originally only coslept w baby when she was flat on the mattress w no blanket or pillows nearby, etc, but she had nightly congestion so bad she couldn't sleep, and I ended up inclining her by putting her head and torso on a firm pillow... and then just plopped my head on that same pillow next to her. Gravity made her head lean on my face, which is not only not much of a suffocation hazard, but also happily accepts a way to monitor baby even more closely, as she breathes practically into my ear.