How did you sleep train?

amother

Geranium

Mon, Mar 25 2024, 9:35 pm

amother Navy wrote:

Sleep train to me means overnight sleep. What method we used to get them yo sleep overnight

You’re describing how to get them to fall asleep.

I never did bouncing/patting/shushing etc. I put babies down awake but sleepy. Sounds like yours doesn’t even Know how To fall asleep on her own

Sleep training is teaching your baby how to self soothe so they can put themselves back to sleep if they wake up in the middle of night.
I sleep trained my 4 month old but he still wakes up for feedings.

amother

Clear

Mon, Mar 25 2024, 9:37 pm

amother Geranium wrote:

Abusive is a strong word. If sleep training doesn’t resonate with you, don’t do it, but no, it is not abusive.

Not all sleep training is abusive. Leaving a baby crying alone for 20 minutes, multiple times, is neglectful.

amother

Geranium

Mon, Mar 25 2024, 9:40 pm

amother Clear wrote:

Not all sleep training is abusive. Leaving a baby crying alone for 20 minutes, multiple times, is neglectful.

If your baby is fed, clean diaper, warm, comfortable then it is not neglectful.
Of course if baby is hungry or anything else it is neglectful.

amother

Navy

Mon, Mar 25 2024, 9:56 pm

amother Geranium wrote:

It’s clear to me now that sleep teaming means different things to different people

amother

Ginger

Mon, Mar 25 2024, 10:19 pm

amother Blue wrote:

I don't think 6 month Olds are physiologically wired to fall asleep on their own. It's developmentally appropriate for them to want to be held or rocked or nursed to sleep.

This. 6 months is so little. There’s no such things as a bad habit. And you don’t need to teach baby to sleep. They learn on the it own

amother

Hydrangea

Mon, Mar 25 2024, 10:21 pm

I do a modified version of CIO. The amount of crying I let depends on the intensity (less than 2 mins for full out crying vs 5-10 mins for kvetching) and it usually takes a few days of working on it for night and naps till they figure it out.

I’m ok to continue with the “old way” of helping them fall asleep, while they’re getting used to the new system. Goes against all sleeping methods but works for me.

Of course, a good schedule and bedtime routine is also important, even if it’s really short.

Lmk if you want me to share more details…

amother

Freesia

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 10:19 am

amother Geranium wrote:

If your baby is fed, clean diaper, warm, comfortable then it is not neglectful.
Of course if baby is hungry or anything else it is neglectful.

Of course it’s neglectful. Leaving a baby to cry for 20 minutes is more than neglectful, it’s abusive.

amother

Freesia

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 10:23 am

amother Geranium wrote:

Abusive is a strong word. If sleep training doesn’t resonate with you, don’t do it, but no, it is not abusive.

But it is abusive. It’s important to understand what you are doing and the harm caused. When we whitewash it babies suffer, and usually the moms to do when they realize a few years later what they did.
So it’s better for everyone to understand that letting a baby cry is abusive and CIO or Ferber is harmful to infants and toddlers.
There are gentle ways to encourage a good sleep hygiene and that’s not what I’m referring to.
I’m referring to the posts who talk about letting a baby cry from 2 minutes to 20 minutes etc;
These posters are posting damaging advice and it’s just sad all around.

amother

Clear

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 10:32 am

amother Geranium wrote:

If your baby is fed, clean diaper, warm, comfortable then it is not neglectful.
Of course if baby is hungry or anything else it is neglectful.

It's not physically neglectful (probably) but it is most definitely emotionally neglectful.

amother

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 10:42 am

Thanks everyone for your perspectives.

There are some many confilicting arguments one way or the other, beyond this thread. I guess that my frustration is stemming from all of the "advice" out there and what my baby should or shouldn't be doing. I wish I didn't pay attention to all of this, and then I probably wouldn't be frustrated.

While I would love for her to sleep through the night, it's not my main issue at this point. But I'd really like her to be able to fall asleep by herself during the day and/or sleep longer than 40 minutes at a time.

amother

DarkMagenta

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 10:46 am

I know op its hard. You have to forget the noise and focus on whats best for your baby
Regarding napping - some babies just don't sleep hours at a time and its something you need to accept...

amother

Red

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 10:49 am

amother Freesia wrote:

Before fixating on the 2-20 minutes, do you run to your baby the second they begin to cry? Or is it ok for you to finish what you’re doing for a minute or two and then go to them? And then if so, how long is your limit? I personally could never leave my baby crying for 20 minutes, but I do sleep train and I feel that 2-3 minutes is ok same way you don’t jump up at every squeak.

amother

Freesia

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 10:53 am

amother Red wrote:

When your baby cries obviously you should go to him. What’s the question? If you are in middle of something that you can’t stop then that is life, for example you are in the bathroom. But as a general way of life of course you check on your baby to see what’s going on.
Babies communicate by crying and nobody like to be ignored.

amother

Freesia

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 10:55 am

amother OP wrote:

It’s tough op. I hope you get some good answers and sleep. Good luck!

amother

Geranium

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 11:03 am

My baby was waking up every 2 hours. I need my sleep to be a functioning person. I was a mess of a mom and wife.
Until I sleep trained using the Ferber method. Happier baby and functioning mom! I’ve done it with all my kids,
They are easy going and well adjusted, happy and thriving! Bh!
I did my research and felt comfortable doing it but each to their own.

amother

Dimgray

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 11:07 am

What I found is scratch the no soothers, I really dont get what the big deal is, so once your gonna be running late in a car and they baby wont be able to fall asleep without a bottle? youll deal with that "once" when you get there. I'm doing this now with my 3rd for the third time. same bedtime every day, diaper change, a little lotion massage, then a nice long feeding till she's knocked out milk drunk, quick swap to paci and then they sleep like... well someone whos milk drunk. I never researched why the new methods ruled out feeding and paci to sleep, because if it aint broke, why fix it? my older two easily gave up there bottle and paci at age 2
ETA: I also sleep with my baby's blanket and then alternate give them a blanket I slept with, babies find moms scent soothing.

amother

Freesia

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 11:10 am

amother Geranium wrote:

My baby was waking up every 2 hours. I need my sleep to be a functioning person. I was a mess of a mom and wife.
Until I sleep trained using the Ferber method. Happier baby and functioning mom! I’ve done it with all my kids,
None of them have any issues! They are easy going and well adjusted! Bh!
I did my research and felt comfortable doing it but each to their own.

Ferber himself rescinded part of his recommendation. He says he regrets advice he gave. It’s an outdated approach and shouldn’t be used.

amother

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 11:11 am

amother Dimgray wrote:

I have nothing against nursing to sleep, but what about when you're out and about and can't sit down to nurse, or driving? What if they're with a babysitter? Will they be able to sleep?