Your take about seminary asking that we be paid up by June!

Cheiny

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 7:44 pm

funkygirl wrote:

I heard about it but refused to believe that this could be true. At first, they ask for a $5,000 deposit and then head checks or credit card to be paid up by JUNE 2024!!!! What are they thinking or not thinking, most of us have other bills to pay and with inflation when prices are doubling every month, with other tuitions to pay! I'm beside myself, unless money isn't an issue, or you have a rich uncle or you plan on robbing a bank, how in the world are coming up with this money till JUNE???????? Any answers? As it is had a hard time coming up with the payment of the deposit. The rest of the payments I thought I had till JUNE 2025, but there is no rachmanes even from the cheaper seminaries, if they want it all paid pretty much up front, how is that cheap? with literally chocking us????

As long as parents continue to buy into the fad, that seminary is a be-all and end-all, and that their children will not get married if they don’t attend in Israel, the seminaries will continue to demand and get whatever they like, taking full advantage of desperate parents.

Last edited by Cheiny on Mon, Mar 04 2024, 12:45 pm; edited 1 time in total

Cheiny

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 7:47 pm

amother Lightgreen wrote:

Agree. It's a luxury converted into a necessity by peer pressure and the school system. The girls do just as well without it. They aren't better mother and wives for it.

If we stop playing their game, then this unnecessary stress and financial headaches disappear.

Couldn’t agree more.

amother

Raspberry

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 8:00 pm

amother Teal wrote:

Just like everything else, they are a business and can do whatever they want!! Seminary in essence is for the wealthy, but unfortunately in recent years has become a must for everyone, whether they can afford it or not. That's the honest truth...
Hoping things change and by the time my girls are seminary age there will be a different system!!

A business cannot just do whatever it wants. There is such a thing as unfair and even illegal business practices.

amother

Caramel

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 8:16 pm

amother Raspberry wrote:

A business cannot just do whatever it wants. There is such a thing as unfair and even illegal business practices.

I can not begin to tell you how foolish this is. My SIL has an amazing daughter who did not yet get in to seminary. She Is calling every person
she knows to use pull to get in. All for the pressure created by the hype of how important it is.

amother

Coral

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 8:20 pm

amother Caramel wrote:

Imagine begging someone to let you give them 35k!! What an insane world we love in!

amother

Orange

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 8:24 pm

I think it's crazy that they expect to be paid in full by June and I agree with the poster who wrote to call and negotiate with them. Hopefully they'll be more reasonable when you have a conversation.

I just want to say that I always believed what many of you are writing, about seminary being a luxury and that it's really not necessary. So much that I didn't send my oldest dd to seminary and she's a great person who got married a few years later and the fact that she didn't go didn't matter to her husband and mil.

When it came to my second dd there was a specific reason why we felt it was important for her to go. And so we stretched ourselves and applied for financial aid and Bh we were able to make it work. And now I regret that I didn't do the same for my oldest. My second dd gained a lot in yiddishkeit. She also came home with a great group of friends who she is still close to even after they're married. My first dd spoke to her friends a few times over the year, but they were always telling her about all the great times that she was missing. They also all came back with new friends who they were closer with and she pretty much lost her friends.

amother

Cherry

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 8:27 pm

amother Coral wrote:

Whoever s dd didn't get in consider yourselves lucky...you are now 40k richer!

Not helpful to families whose daughters really want to go and whose parents think it's a good idea for them to go. This thread isn't about getting in or not. Those who really want to go will still get in in the next round.
This rule of paying up until the end of this school year is new and a separate issue.

amother

Cherry

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 8:30 pm

amother Raspberry wrote:

A business cannot just do whatever it wants. There is such a thing as unfair and even illegal business practices.

There's nothing illegal or unfair as far as seminaries go. People trip over themselves to give them these crazy amounts. They're totally in charge of our girls and communities.

amother

Midnight

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 8:32 pm

amother Cherry wrote:

There's nothing illegal or unfair as far as seminaries go. People trip over themselves to give them these crazy amounts. They're totally in charge of our girls and communities.

We are still in charge of our girls.

amother

Sapphire

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 8:41 pm

I didn't go to EY for seminary. I'm so glad I didn't. BH I'm married to a wonderful guy, with delicious kids, and I don't see much difference between me and my neighbors or friends. (Who I am friends with has changed so many times over the years, based on what I was doing at the time- whoever I was friends with in high school and after has shifted a million times over the years, we got different jobs, got married at different times, moved to different cities... I think many people have different friends 5 and 10 years later than they did in seminary.) Glad I didn't let the pressure get to me, and I have zero intention now of sending my girls to seminary 15 years from now, regardless of whether society changes or not.

amother

Cherry

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 8:46 pm

amother Midnight wrote:

That is a mother's choice.

The pressure is enormous. Many mothers sincerely believe this is to their daughters' benefit. And of course, many have a great year, living in Israel, sorta a camp life, new friends from all over the world, trips, new experiences, with everything paid.

amother

Yellow

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 8:50 pm

My ds went to yeshiva three years ago and it cost only a little less. We had to pay in full by September. I recognize that this is a difficult financial burden, but I don't think it's totally new.

little neshamala

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 9:19 pm

Cheiny wrote:

As long as parents continue to buy into the fad, that seminary is a be-all and end-all, and that their children will not get married if they don’t attend in Israel, the seminaries will continue to demand and get whatever they like out there, taking full advantage of desperate parents.

Exactly.
If youre able to muster the "courage" not to make a bar mitzvah the exact same way everyone you know did, consider not jumping in the same seminary boat as well.
Theyre only in charge if you let them be.

amother

Teal

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 9:27 pm

Pretty soon people will post on imamother about what a chutzpah it is that the pesach program they are going to is asking for payment upfront...
How is this different if you think about it? No one is running a seminary for the chesed, it's all a business!

amother

Lightgreen

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 9:36 pm

amother Teal wrote:

If you're comparing pesach programs to seminaries, then you're demonstrating how unnecessary seminary actually is.

They're just exploiting us by using spirituality as a clever marketing tool.

kiwi8

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 9:37 pm

We live on a very tight budget but believe that when something is right for us to do we will make every effort to make it work, like I won’t pay for travel camp because that’s a luxury for my girls. I trust hashem will help us out. So far for my 2 daughters going to EY was important for their growth whether in ruchnios or socially. I have another daughter there now and I’m so happy we sent her. We did ask a Sheila and that made me feel more responsible. Many seminaries will make a payment plans. We get financial aid so we go through a college and therefore able to make smaller payments. My daughters paid for all and I mean all their expenses while they were there. I was NEVER pushed into sending