Dd almost 6 still not trained at night

amother

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 4:02 am

Dd will be 6 soon. She is still wearing a diaper at night. She's physically small, so a regular diaper works. (Is her size connected to this issue?) When dh takes her to the bathroom in the middle of the night, she usually pees and wakes up dry. But whenever he doesn't take her (a couple times a week that he's more tired or busy), she wakes up wet. Seems like she comes to my bed many (but not all) of those nights, so very possibly she wakes up bc she needs to pee, but is not awake enough to go to the bathroom herself. But sometimes she sleeps through and wakes up wet and sometimes she pees before dh gets to her.

She was toilet trained by 3, no issues in the day. I thought this was fairly normal at this age (5), but now she's nearing 6 and I'm not sure. I took her for a speech evaluation and the therapist also thought she's big for this. Dd7 was out of diapers at night by 3-4 and dd3.5 is already our of diapers completely (which makes this extra uncomfortable for dd5.5). But this dd has a much smaller build than both of them- like I said, don't know if that's connected. She does not pee often in the day at all, but never has accidents. Ds9 actually has a similar build. He has been out of diapers since 5 or so, but he has wet the bed occasionally (when he's extra tired I think), even once this year. Wwyd and would you do it yet?

amother

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 4:51 am

amother Oatmeal wrote:

Most of my kids took a long time to be trained at night, even after age 6. Please let go and don't worry. It won't last until adulthood.

Did you take them to the bathroom in the night or anything? Were they in diapers/Good Nights the whole time, or did you switch to something else?

I'm not so worried, but she feels a little awkward about it, especially since her little sister totally doesn't need a diaper. (She tells her pretty often that everyone is different and she's still bigger even though she needs a diaper.)

amother

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 5:06 am

amother Cherry wrote:

Why don’t you switch to pull-ups?

I wanted to but I'm on a small yishuv in Israel and the store doesn't carry them Sad

But I started closing the diaper so she can put them on herself like pull-ups, which does make her feel a little more grown-up.

B'Syata D'Shmya

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 5:14 am

Please reassure her that this is a developmental thing and not her fault. Like hair length, some children have really long hair at age 2 and some have a few curls that barely cover their head... Some kids lose their baby teeth early and some late etc.
Dont make a big deal at home, so her sibs dont use this to tease her, but make sure her room is aired out and the smell is washed out ASAP in the morning. If she needs a mini-shower in the morning - dont let her go to school smelling.
Perhaps set an alarm to wake her so she goes to the bathroom. Her body will get used to the schedule (possibly).

Gam zeh yaavor!

amother

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 5:30 am

B'Syata D'Shmya wrote:

Thanks, we already do most of these things, but it's good to hear. Nothing smells because it's just peeing in a diaper. She wipes herself with wipes in the morning if she feels she needs to. And like I said, she tells her sister all the time "Everyone is different, some kids still need a diaper." Nobody here bothers her about it B"H! And kids in school don't know about it. The speech therapist though we should go to a doctor about it (when she'd just turned 5), which surprised me, so I wanted to check if people actually go to doctors for checks at this age.

B'Syata D'Shmya

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 5:37 am

amother OP wrote:

They can do a urine test. ST may just be overcautious so you cant say later, she didnt advise you to get it checked out.

amother

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 5:41 am

B'Syata D'Shmya wrote:

They can do a urine test. ST may just be overcautious so you cant say later, she didnt advise you to get it checked out.

I think she was just concerned for her. She didn't write it down or anything. She said she's so big, it must be so uncomfortable for her. The question was on the referral form for all sorts of developmental issues. B"H other than this and speech she's totally perfect! Smile

amother

Darkblue

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 6:39 am

It's considered developmentally normal until 7 or 8, so most doctors won't do anything at this point. If it's really bothering you and you don't want to wait another year or two to do more, you can try the alarm thing and see if that helps.

amother

Navy

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 7:00 am

How tired is she when she goes to sleep? I found that when my daughter was younger she was urinating in her sleep because she was out cold by the time she fell asleep. We used nighttime underwear from the local pharmacy until 8. When we started melatonin and she went to sleep when only mildly tired. It's quite normal though or there wouldn't be multiple brands available (at least in america). The body sometimes takes a while to learn to make less urine at night. It's a physical development that has very little to do with any other issues.

amother

cornflower

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 7:21 am

I have a 12 year old still in pull-ups and my 8 year old just finished using them. My 5 year old still using them and he is very upset about it.
We tried everything for my 12 year old waking him, not waking him the alarm. But nothing seems to be working. He takes ddavp when he goes to camp.
Doctor told us it's hereditary and he will hopefully grow out of it when he matures. Which seems like it will happen not so soon.
He is obviously very bothered by it and I wish there is something I can do about it.

amother

Sienna

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 7:56 am

Very common still at this age, and the speech therapist is really not an expert in this area (clearly). In my experience it happens pretty suddenly. They're wetting every night, then they have some dry nights, then they are totally dry every night. I never did anything about it- didn't bring to the bathroom at night, didn't talk about it. It's completely physical and not something she can control. Likely just a hormone that didn't kick in yet. Some of my kids were dry very young, others til age 7 plus.

amother

Razzmatazz

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 8:02 am

My kids are very late to train for the night. Bh we're seeing the end if the tunnel now with our 11yo, bh only very rarely wakes up wet (coming from every night like a year ago).

Truth is my dh was close to bar mitzva when he was fully dry so it does run in families.

marineparkmom

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 8:06 am

Bed wetting at age six is absolutely normal… ask your pediatrician not a speech therapist. It only sounds odd in your case because she is wearing a diaper and not a pull up to bed. Of course you can try not drinking before bed and all those tricks. But it is really normal to bed wet at this age.

amother

Poppy

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 8:07 am

As others have said, it's not necessarily a sign of a problem at this age. But it bothered my 6 year old a lot that she was still not dry at night so we tried the alarm and found it worked for her - not within 2 weeks as some Amazon reviews say, but after 7 or 8 weeks she was able to stay dry without it and was really happy about it bH. It's been about 5 months with no regression since then bH.

amother

Sienna

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 8:13 am

amother Holly wrote:

The potty training book I used said that if you don’t night train before 4 the muscles atrophy and it’s harder to night train.

For most people it's a hormone, not muscle issue. This sounds like nonsense.