Rebbe and Morah who potch at home

amother

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 10:24 pm

amother Geranium wrote:

so if your rebbe/morah potched their kid out of anger and felt remorse than it's not as bad?
sorry for the 20 questions, just trying to understand the crux of the issue...

Yes, because potching is a red line that should never be crossed. Even when angry. Being physical with our kids is never about chinuch in this generation, even if we claim we are doing it out of love and not anger.

amother

Ecru

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 10:24 pm

amother OP wrote:

I’m constantly learning and trying to understand better ways to be mechanech. Blimi Heller has been transformative in my parenting as well.

Ha called it! I smelled her methods a mile away

amother

Geranium

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 10:25 pm

amother OP wrote:

I’m constantly learning and trying to understand better ways to be mechanech. Blimi Heller has been transformative in my parenting as well.

You don't need to listen to me, but I suggest taking the name of the person down as I think it may lead to uneccesary lashon hara...

amother

Dustypink

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 10:25 pm

amother OP wrote:

I’m constantly learning and trying to understand better ways to be mechanech. Blimi Heller has been transformative in my parenting as well.

Many of her idea's, is raising snow flake kids that grow up to be horrible, self centered adults with no middos tovos. That's very harmful for the children & for our society as well & may very well come back to bite you when your kids are teens & adults.
Our job as parents is to raise our kids to be good self confident people, with fine, good middos.
Many of the parting methods today, are so harmful in the long run.

amother

Denim

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 10:25 pm

Op your ‘my way or the high way’ is quite overwhelming. There is room for many different views in life.

amother

Sapphire

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 10:27 pm

amother OP wrote:

If they yelled as a shittah I would have an issue with it. If they yelled due to frustration and felt remorse, they are human.

The issue with potching is that those who retain to the old way of thinking that it’s chinuch, it’s a shittah of theirs. That’s very worrisome and problematic.

You're making a lot of assumptions. You have no idea if these people truly potch. If they do it as a shittah. How it comes across to their children. How it impacts their chinuch in the classroom.

amother

Sapphire

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 10:28 pm

amother OP wrote:

Why is yelling out of anger not a red line?

amother

Dustypink

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 10:29 pm

amother OP wrote:

Someone is brainwashing you with the wrong parenting ideas.

amother

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 10:30 pm

amother Dustypink wrote:

I’ve seen it work wonders on my kids who have wonderful middos and are loved by their teachers and peers. In my personal experience it has been transformative.

Prior to my exposure to Blimi I have learned under other world class parenting experts and none ever advocated for potching.

It’s kind of unheard of nowadays.

amother

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 10:33 pm

amother Sapphire wrote:

You're making a lot of assumptions. You have no idea if these people truly potch. If they do it as a shittah. How it comes across to their children. How it impacts their chinuch in the classroom.

Their teen daughter told my teen daughter that they potch in their house. I am hoping it’s of the less punitive potching strategies, although I don’t know.

A mechanech in this generation should know better then to potch and it’s concerning if they didn’t get that memo.

amother

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 10:34 pm

amother Dustypink wrote:

Someone is brainwashing you with the wrong parenting ideas.

Who are you relying on that recommends potching in this generation? Actually don’t answer as it’s LH.

amother

Geranium

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 10:35 pm

amother OP wrote:

they potch the teen? or their toddler?
so many holes...

NechaMom

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 10:39 pm

amother OP wrote:

You’re going too far. You are accepting LH third hand. You have no idea what she meant by potching. Kids and teens tend to exaggerate. Who are you to judge what the teachers do at home? You’re totally overreacting! You’re supposed to judge the teacher by how she behaves in school. Unless if you hear she does serious aveiros privately. Then you can discuss with a rav how to go about it. In this case I see no reason why it’s any of your business.

amother

Mimosa

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 10:43 pm

Not sure if everyone agrees on chi ich methods but I think we can all agree that judging based on lashon hara second hand from children is definitely wrong.

Additionally who do you expect to teach your children?
Maybe you can offer to take over the class. My here is already a major shortage of teachers due to the difficulties teachers are having with parents.
I’d say that is a bigger cause for concern.

amother

Dustypink

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 10:43 pm

amother OP wrote:

None of this is any of your business. It doesn't effect your kids. You're just believing lashon hora.
Teens tend to exaggerate as well. You should also teach your daughter that it's not ok for her to repeat to you things that her friends tell her, unless it's an emergency/pikuach nefesh situation.

amother

Seashell

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 10:45 pm

Now I understand the shortage of teachers a little more.

No money in the world would make it worth it for me to teach your child, OP.

amother

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 10:46 pm

amother Mimosa wrote:

You are right I shouldn’t judge based off LH. I am not repeating it to anybody. In my heart I felt very bothered by it though.

Bunch of Tulips

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 10:47 pm

Agree. I though a child said it. If it was a teen then the chinich you should be concerned about is that teens should know not to be discussing personal house stories or repeating it. A teen should know that

amother

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 10:51 pm

Bunch of Tulips wrote:

The mechaneches daughter made a public announcement about it to the class. It wasn’t a private conversation to dd. Regardless I will just hope it isn’t true.