Rebbe and Morah who potch at home

amother

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 7:01 pm

amother Dustypink wrote:

It's not necessarily a punitive mindset and not proper chinuch.

Umm, yes it is.
It’s wrong.It’s very wrong and there are many gedolim who say it’s not for this generation.
Potching is harmful.

smss

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 7:01 pm

amother Dustypink wrote:

It's not necessarily a punitive mindset and not proper chinuch.

Punitive = punishment-based
What is a potch if not a punishment?

Can you quote a contemporary gadol who says potching is proper chinuch in current times?

amother

Geranium

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 7:02 pm

in this generation you can also choose to be a unicorn.
I wouldn't take the generation's acceptance as an indicator of anything...

amother

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 7:02 pm

amother DarkOrange wrote:

Why? Because nowadays there's a lot of discussion against hitting and it's considered abusive, so the word potch is illegal? If we use a different word, then it'll be okay?

Because you’re threatening your kids. It’s a control tactic. If you don’t listen to mommy you’re going to get a potch… Banging head

amother

Dustypink

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 7:02 pm

amother OP wrote:

In this generation if you’re potching,
you’re harming your kids.

It’s kind of basic knowledge nowadays.

If you are doing that you should go for a parenting course and resign from your teacher’s role asap.

A potch harming the kids, totally depends on the parents & their attitude. It's absolutely not a general statement. Nowadays, so many parenting methods and ideas, are way more harmful to a child than a potch.

amother

Ecru

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 7:03 pm

While I wouldn’t be thrilled to hear that my child’s morah pitched at home, as long as she doesn’t do it in school, I would mind my own business (provided I had no reason to believe that the potching was at abusive levels).
I would be somewhat wary of the teacher and make sure my kid knows to report any sign of abuse to me.

amother

Dustypink

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 7:04 pm

amother OP wrote:

Because you’re threatening your kids. It’s a control tactic. If you don’t listen to mommy you’re going to get a potch… Banging head

Potching doesn't mean threatening.
There are parents that never potch, but constantly threaten their children.

amother

Dustypink

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 7:04 pm

smss wrote:

Punitive = punishment-based
What is a potch if not a punishment?

Can you quote a contemporary gadol who says potching is proper chinuch in current times?

A potch, if done the right way, is chinuch. Not a punishment.

amother

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 7:05 pm

amother Geranium wrote:

in this generation you can also choose to be a unicorn.
I wouldn't take the generation's acceptance as an indicator of anything...

I can’t believe people are arguing about potching.

Everyone knows it’s wrong nowadays unless your in real denial.

The gedolim and parenting experts say it’s wrong for this generation.

This is common knowledge.

Can we discuss how to handle if you know your kids veteran mechaneches potches at home?

amother

Salmon

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 7:05 pm

My question is why are we so quick to pass judgment based off of what a child said? Who said it’s even true? You’d be surprised to know how much kids make up.

amother

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 7:06 pm

amother Dustypink wrote:

Dusty pink, do you potch at home? If you do please re-educate yourself. It’s extremely harmful.

amother

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 7:06 pm

amother Dustypink wrote:

A potch, if done the right way, is chinuch. Not a punishment.

Denial.

amother

Dustypink

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 7:06 pm

amother OP wrote:

Umm, yes it is.
It’s wrong.It’s very wrong and there are many gedolim who say it’s not for this generation.
Potching is harmful.

To you it's wrong, because you don't know what it means to potch out of love & for chinuch. For weak parents that are afraid of their children & are raising snowflakes, yes, for them it's seems wrong & they cannot understand it.

amother

Dustypink

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 7:07 pm

amother OP wrote:

#Denial

You seem to have some trauma regarding this. Maybe get over it before being all dramatic & extreme about this topic.
Many parenting methods that are popular nowadays, are harmful to kids as well, more harmful than a potch.

amother

Salmon

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 7:08 pm

amother Dustypink wrote:

Agreed, now I understand why I see unruly children. It’s because parents are afraid to tell them anything. Those children rule the house vs. the parents

amother

Geranium

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 7:08 pm

and even teachers who don't potch can have a "punitive mindset"
I.e. if you talk during the test you'll get a minus 1, if you don't raise your hand I will not listen to your answer, if you are disturbing the lesson you'll need to leave the classroom
it's kind of part of being a teacher. there needs to be rules, standards, and consequences.

amother

Mimosa

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 7:09 pm

You should probably home school your kids.
And since when do you get to tell the teachers what the best way of parenting is? And since when do we get info on our teachers from little children? And since when are imperfect people unable to be teachers?
And even if potching is harmful, so are many things. So who says what will disqualify more teachers?
What about Dan lkaf zchus btw?
And also, who says all porching is harmful just btw….
Spoken from someone who doesn’t teach and doesn’t potch but also doesn’t disqualify people that way.

NechaMom

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 7:09 pm

What a child told your child about what happens at home can be untrue. It’s pure LH too. How would such an odd discussion come about anyway? I would never take it seriously. I would only judge by how the teacher behaves in school. Are you happy with the way they teach your child and the class as a whole? That’s really the only thing that counts.

amother

Sapphire

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 7:10 pm

I used to potch my kids on occasion, before I learned rav wolbes sefer and learned better parenting techniques. I worked with children at that time and I never, ever used punitive methods in my work at all. Don't assume anything. I also happen to believe that yelling at kids can be just as harmful, if not more so.