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-> Household Management
-> Organizing
SG18
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 Sun, Oct 22 2023, 9:04 am
I'm starting out as a professional organizer, and offer cheap rates (to reflect that). I can sit with you and we can walk through your needs and wants, go through everything together.
Feel free to pm, if you're interested.
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happy7
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 9:15 am
You really need almost nothing.
Most things a wants, or things we are holding on to bec we are afraid we will need them sometime.
We did some construction last year and we are doing a bigger renovation soon. Have gone through a lot of my stuff, and I am NOT a hoarder nor do I have ADHD, and it is an absolutely overwhelming task.
Advice:
You need to start with ONE shelf. And ONE shelf ONLY. Go to your front hallway. Look at ONE a area of stuff, and that is the ONLY thing you are working with. Look through the stuff and at least see what you have. If anything is broken or damaged, toss it. If something is missing parts, ourgrown shoes, no longer used sweaters or coats, get rid of them. Old children’s projects are trash. And when you are done that area, COMPLETELY, that is when you can move on to something else.
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anonymous mom
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 9:32 am
Some ideas I learned from minimal mom and a slob comes clean.
1: start with trash. Choose a room/ area to clean and fill up and throw out a garbage bag TODAY. Anything that is ripped, stained, broken.
2: Use a BLACK garbage bag (so no one sees and takes things out). Fill it up with all "just in case items" that you may use in the future if they cost $20 or less to replace.
3: Do one room/ area at a time. First do step 1 and 2 that I wrote above. THEN, look through one item at a time and ask yourself these questions:
A: if I were looking for this item, where would I look for this first? PUT IT THERE IMMEDIATELY.
If you can't answer that question then ask yourself:
B: if I needed this item would it even occur to me that I had it or would I just but a new one? If you wouldn't go looking for it, get rid of it immediately.
4: in the kitchen, you only need one of each utensil, no need for two scoopers, ladles etc.
5: ask yourself " what can I do without". Throw out these things. Example- you can use a spoon instead of an ice cream scoop etc.
6: Do not keep any kids clothes, it's not worth it to give up your precious space. After Sukkos get rid of all kids summer clothes. After Shavuos get rid of all kids winter clothes.
7: for your closet, only keep whatever fits right now. Not something you need to lose weight to fit into. Of course keep maternity clothes if you're still having kids.
8: container concept: your space is Iike a container which is meant to hold things. You can only keep whatever fits in the container, nothing more. If there is a space/ shelf/ drawer that is overstuffed/ overcrowded you need to get rid of a lot of things until the space is usable. Look at how much space you have and keep only what's most important. This works great with toys. You only have a certain amount of space. Keep the most important toys and get rid of everything else.
It's not so hard. Start and you will love it!
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amother
Springgreen
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 10:11 am
I feel for you. I have adhd and my house is a mortifying disaster. I can still cry when I remember the time my kids brought my mother in law upstairs to their rooms. I think a part of me died that day.
I have two kids who are not NT, and dh grew up quite poor so he insists on saving everything just in case. He doesn't like when I throw things out.
Recently, I just had enough. I was running away from being home because I don't enjoy being home with the mess. I am just starting to declutter. I don't ask anyone, I just get rid of stuff.
This is what works for me. I set a timer for 7 minutes and take a garbage bag. Pick a room and just throw out everything that you're not currently using or that's not used seasonally-like your menorah or swim gear. Yes, you might need that medium blue shell one day, but you can buy a new one for twenty bucks! Not worth losing your sanity for that. Toss it. That glass bowl that you got from your grandma's stuff that collects dust because you haven't found a use for it? Get rid of it.
I have one closet dedicated to kids outgrown clothes. I save 4 types of clothes IF they're in perfect condition-
1. Uniform for my girls
2. Shabbos clothes that were expensive and won't go out of style so quickly like boys pants
3. Pajamas
The first two are hanging in the closet, the third is in a bin on the floor of the closet.
For toys, I put everything in the playroom closet and PUT LOCKS ON THOSE DOORS. I'm the only one with the keys. Anyone who wants a toy, has to come ask me to unlock the door. I only take out toys when the previous ones are cleaned up and ready to go back in the closet. After a few months of this, I started to notice these were toys no-one asked for, so one by one, I began to get rid of those. I still have dolls, kitchen set toys, cars, trucks, animals, magnatiles, blocks, Lego, pegs, magnet dolls, and games. I got rid of so many toys this way.
I'm still working on it. There's a lot a lot a lot to go through. My house is still embarrassing.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 10:13 am
So the take it there now method doesn't work for me because it drives my distractibility brain crazy, I need to work in one area and not move until I'm done.
I do love decluttering but in a day it's back to it's huge mess. I'm clearly doing something wrong.
The container concept doesn't work for toys unfortunately. I have a huge basement. It all fits. It may work for the front closet though.
I love black garbage bags. I will start with that.
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lostmyoldSN
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 10:29 am
Toys, I get rid of the ones I find myself constantly cleaning up and no longer have all the pieces.
My newest is I try REALLY REALLY hard to keep the boxes in good shape. They are so much nicer to store like this and then when I get tired of it, I can give someone a nice game. (Before this, my games were in ziploc bags.)
Hard puzzles are one-time. Take it apart when finished and give it away. We aren't going to do the same cheap 1000 puzzle twice. My floor puzzles will be done 1000s of times 
Clothes, I get rid of tons. Unless there's 2 the same gender close in age, there's really no reason to save. Klal yisroel is special. We have so many gemachim and people giving clothes away or thrift stores or inexpensive places to shop.
Your own clothes, if you haven't worn it in a year, get rid of it. And get rid of it fast! When it's still in style, someone else can enjoy it. I don't regret giving away my Sheva Brachos clothes quickly.
(Same idea with kids clothes. When they get given away fast, someone gets nice, current handmedowns vs. holding onto it for 10 years and then realizing that you're never going to use them.
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amother
Midnight
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 10:35 am
I don't have ADHD but everyone else in my home above age 7 has been diagnosed. So I have to do things slowly and carefully. Too big a shift and people will riot. And I will get almost no help from them and if they do try then they end up distracted and playing.
I start with a single drawer or shelf. One. Pull out all trash and dump to garbage. Pull out obvious "doesn't belong here" one by one. Ask myself "where would I look for this if I needed it?" And put it there now. Then back to same drawer and grab next item.
If I don't have a place immediately in my mind- if I needed it would I know I had it?
Throw out trash before anyone sees.
It isn't about getting rid of toys. That's what you see and what bothers you because you trip on it. But what will help is to start with small things that will make a big impact. I start with a shelf or drawer that bothers me the most. The one that I see often or try to use and can't close.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 11:32 am
| amother Midnight wrote: | I don't have ADHD but everyone else in my home above age 7 has been diagnosed. So I have to do things slowly and carefully. Too big a shift and people will riot. And I will get almost no help from them and if they do try then they end up distracted and playing.
I start with a single drawer or shelf. One. Pull out all trash and dump to garbage. Pull out obvious "doesn't belong here" one by one. Ask myself "where would I look for this if I needed it?" And put it there now. Then back to same drawer and grab next item.
If I don't have a place immediately in my mind- if I needed it would I know I had it?
Throw out trash before anyone sees.
It isn't about getting rid of toys. That's what you see and what bothers you because you trip on it. But what will help is to start with small things that will make a big impact. I start with a shelf or drawer that bothers me the most. The one that I see often or try to use and can't close. |
I like this idea of working on the things that bother me the most/ I trip on the most.
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seeker
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 12:40 pm
| amother OP wrote: | I'm writing notes based on this thread than doing it one thing at a time.
What's the just in case rule?
I have too many of those things. We're not using it now but we may use it in the future...
My husband gets annoyed because I throw all those things out and then he claims he never has things when he needs them. |
If it's expensive or hard to get in a pinch, you keep even if you haven't used for a long time (e.g. nebulizer.)
If it's cheap and either easy to get or by definition a non-emergency item, then it can go. I'm struggling to think of an example. Maybe like an eczema soap and nobody currently has eczema. If it happens again you'll go to cvs and spend $15 or so, much cheaper than household real estate or cleaning help.
Outgrown baby things - unless you have a baby every year and expect to continue, most of these things you can get again pretty easily. My kids are 2 years apart and I still had time to pay it forward and come back around for things like bouncers and clothes (helped that I lived in a neighborhood of small apartments so people passed this stuff around a lot). Pacifiers are in the category of cheap and replaceable.
Toys - just in case they decide to revisit it after not using it for 2 years - yes this does happen to me and it's a disappointment if you already gave it away, but they will find something else to play with like they did for the last 2 years.
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seeker
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 12:55 pm
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I also have a (general) rule that if I spend more time cleaning something up than using it, it goes. This applies to toys as well as kitchen utensils (small kitchen, things get in the way)
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zigi
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 1:03 pm
| amother OP wrote: | I like them both too. Anything from them that helps you specifically?
I think something that gets in the way for me is the dividing line of what to keep and find a place for and what is not worth finding a place for. I am looking to work quickly so that I actually build momentum. Too many rules or concepts will overcomplicate things for this over thinker.
Thanks ladies. |
Can you easily replace the item? Listen to a slob comes clean podcasts for chizuk.
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amother
Bronze
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 1:58 pm
| Quote: |
6: Do not keep any kids clothes, it's not worth it to give up your precious space. After Sukkos get rid of all kids summer clothes. After Shavuos get rid of all kids winter clothes. |
My dd1 is wearing clothes that are 4th hand and some more than that all in good condition
I have saved 1000s of ₪ with these awesome hand-me-downs
In my extended family we have a chain of 4 girls straight. so when 6 grows out they go to 4 then to 2 then to 1.
Chas veshalom to throw out clothing  
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seeker
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 2:01 pm
| amother Bronze wrote: | | Quote: |
6: Do not keep any kids clothes, it's not worth it to give up your precious space. After Sukkos get rid of all kids summer clothes. After Shavuos get rid of all kids winter clothes. |
My dd1 is wearing clothes that are 4th hand and some more than that all in good condition
I have saved 1000s of ₪ with these awesome hand-me-downs
In my extended family we have a chain of 4 girls straight. so when 6 grows out they go to 4 then to 2 then to 1.
Chas veshalom to throw out clothing |
She said get rid of, not throw in the garbage. I get rid of clothes asap by passing on to families with smaller kids.
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amother
Bronze
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 2:03 pm
| seeker wrote: | | She said get rid of, not throw in the garbage. I get rid of clothes asap by passing on to families with smaller kids. |
Right, but no saving for the next kid at all?
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zaq
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 2:03 pm
Use the Real Estate Method of Organization:
Decide how much space you're willing to devote to each type of possession. E.g.
Three shelves for sefarim, one for other books, one dresser drawer for socks and underthings, one for shirts, one hook for tote bags. One kitchen cabinet for milchik, one for fleishik, one for pareve.
Take everything out of the closet, shelf drawer or cabinet in question. Pick the best of the best of what you took out. Put those things back in. Stop stocking the shelves or drawers when they are nearly full but still have a little breathing space. Put the rest in boxes or bags for donating or discarding.
Or use the Numerical Method: Decide how many of each item you really need or want. Say, fifteen books, ten pairs of socks, three milchik pots, five fleishik pots, one pareve pot. Gather all the items together, choose the best of the best. Stop when you have the number you decided on. Put those in the cabinet or drawer and put the rest in boxes or bags for donating or discarding. If the cabinet has room for more, rejoice in the roominess. If the number you chose overfills the space, remove a few items and put in the "donate or discard" receptacles.
Other tips:
Get rid of anything that has but a single purpose, like a kitchen gadget that carves radish roses, or that you use only once or twice a year, like, a giant platter for serving a whole turkey on Thanksgiving. You can carve roses with a paring knife, and you can serve the turkey on a baking sheet lined with aluminum foil to cover up the stains.
Anything you possess should be earning its keep, meaning you're using it up or wearing it out thread by thread. If you're not using it, and it's not paying you rent, you don't want it.
Get a friend who does not suffer from the same condition as you to help you. Even better if you can get her to remove your "Donate or discard" bags from your house. Because you know that you'll be tempted to look in those bags and retrieve things, until you're right back where you started.
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seeker
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 2:44 pm
If you have a next kid ready and waiting then sure. But no saving "just in case" someday you have another kid of that gender and season. Or if your same gender and season kids are 10 years apart - the styles will change, the elastic will die, the stains will come out or set in or whatever it is that happens over 10 years in a closet...
If you give them to a neighbor, when you need it again a different neighbor will be passing some down.
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spikta
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 2:48 pm
I too have a spouse that hates throwing things out, and he's gotten very offended when I've thrown out stuff that's meaningful to him, but he rarely does the work of going over stuff to identify what's important (e.g. - getting annoyed at me for only saving a box full of the kids' clothes from the past year, and donating 3 garbage bags worth, because there were some very sentimental shirts that I gave away  )
I try to focus my decluttering efforts on areas that are only my domain and that DH won't care if I declutter. That means the kitchen and my closet.
We used to have way to much kitchen stuff. How do you know that you have too much kitchen stuff? If you have to go digging for items, you can't find a thing that you want, you have stuffed cabinets that things fall on you when you open. Even if your drawers and cabinets aren't stuffed to the brim, they likely have a lot of stuff you really don't use. You probably have too many fancy serving utensils and cutesy kitchen gadgets all clogging up the silverware drawer so that it takes you an extra few seconds to find a teaspoon, every single time you open the drawer. I found small kitchen items the easiest to start with because I know exactly what gets used and what doesn't, since I do most of the cooking and dishwashing. Take a thick bag (so you don't get stabbed by the 17 steak knives you don't need) and fill it with stuff you haven't used in the last 6 months. Including gifts. Including parts of a set (you'll never use your fleishik butter knife!!). Think of duplicates - do you really need more than one can opener? Peeler? Also think about things that you hate using or cleaning like knives that don't cut well, or a serving spoon with too many crevices that catch gunk. It's so freeing to go over the silverware drawer. There are so many things that we keep in there because we got them as gifts, or as backup pesach items that we ended up having already, and it is so so nice, to have a drawer that isn't full (you're allowed to have drawers and cabinets that aren't full! you don't need to fill them!) so it's super easy to grab what you want.
Take the bag of stuff you filled up, drop it off at goodwill without a second thought and enjoy the shot of motivation every time you open the silverware drawer.
Next steps:
- Tupperware cabinet: Toss all containers w/o lids and vice versa, without a second thought. No, no one needs your mismatched takeout containers. They are 100% garbage.
- Coffee mug collection: Keep one mug per coffee/tea drinker in the house, plus 2 extra. Pack the rest off to goodwill, or just dump. There are too many coffee mugs in the world, and no poor people are out there wishing they had your old coffee mugs.
- Cups: Get rid of all ugly mismatched cups. Have one nice set of glasses, and only stackable plastic cups for kids so they don't take up space.
- Baking stuff: How frequently do you use actual metal cake pans and not just 9*13 aluminum pans? For me the answer is several times a year. That kind of low frequency of use doesn't justify kitchen space. Whatever I didn't give away I moved to the back of the pantry, stacking them by size so I can find the one I want when I do decide to use an actual metal pan. You probably have some annoying silocone pans that never come fully clean, jello molds that you never use, or fluted dessert cups that you got for your wedding. Life is too short to be a warehouse manager of stuff you don't need. Give them away.
- Serving pieces: Give. Them. Away. If you haven't used them in the past year, give them away. Something you use infrequently, but you do use, put on a high shelf so it doesn't bother you when you're reaching for the platter you use every shabbos. If twice a year you have to get on a chair to pull out serving pieces for the sheva brachos you're hosting, it's worth the free space you've earned in the easier to reach cabinets for the rest of the year.
Once you start, it's just amazing, you'll feel free and less dependent on things for happiness, really, your life will get so much better.
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seeker
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 3:36 pm
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Lol @ no poor person wanting your mugs. I think this is part of the problem, it feels so wrong to just garbage something that is perfectly useful. I don't like pushing down my values against bal tashchis, but in our world it seems like there's just no other way to live! With packages full of cheap new paper on the shelf, it doesn't make sense to hold onto all the scrap paper, but it feels wrong to throw it away when you're just a few generations removed from treasuring each sheet. (I do have a holder full of scrap paper for things like math homework, but this is usually like a bunch of messed up copies came out of the copier accidentally - not the sheet of looseleaf paper that water spilled on and now it's wrinkled and no one's using it.)
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amother
DarkCyan
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 3:41 pm
| seeker wrote: | | Lol @ no poor person wanting your mugs. I think this is part of the problem, it feels so wrong to just garbage something that is perfectly useful. I don't like pushing down my values against bal tashchis, but in our world it seems like there's just no other way to live! With packages full of cheap new paper on the shelf, it doesn't make sense to hold onto all the scrap paper, but it feels wrong to throw it away when you're just a few generations removed from treasuring each sheet. (I do have a holder full of scrap paper for things like math homework, but this is usually like a bunch of messed up copies came out of the copier accidentally - not the sheet of looseleaf paper that water spilled on and now it's wrinkled and no one's using it.) |
the baal tashchis part is really hard for me.
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seeker
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 3:57 pm
It is. But I keep telling myself that keeping unnecessary things is a bal tashchis on my time and energy, which are way more limited and precious. I make a couple of attempts to pass things on via neighborhood chats and if nobody wants it, it's garbage.
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