Please help me! DD behavior help

amother

Sat, Jan 14 2023, 8:38 pm

My 5yr old DD has been very challenging literally since she was an infant.
She is very bright, does beautifully in school and is a star student.
In general she is an all or nothing if she is good she is model student but when not it literally goes down to zero.
At home she can turn my house upside down.. she does not play nicely, constantly fighting with her younger siblings, she then can have a full blown temper tantrum with hitting etc.if I am busy wiht another child she starts screaming you hate me you only like him.. I can't explain it but she literally brings me to tears.. It is not only effecting me as a parent it effects my other children and the whole house

Now I gave her OT which we did see improvement from and I spoke to a therapist who helped me implement consequences like hitting is a time out with mommy for 5 minutes ( I also did a lot of work on myself to remain calm during the outburst)

The question is that although it is her nature. She has an anxious, low self confidence type.. I want to help her! Crying

Is there anyone that can help me help her?
What / who would you recommend?

Thank you so so much

amother

cornflower

Sat, Jan 14 2023, 8:40 pm

Where do you live?
I wasn't sure what direction to take with my dc. I consulted with Zipora Schuk in Monsey. Found it very helpful. We went through childs behavior and she can give direction where to go next.

amother

Sat, Jan 14 2023, 8:42 pm

amother cornflower wrote:

Lakewood
Thanks, how does she charge and were you happy with the recommendations?

amother

Sat, Jan 14 2023, 8:44 pm

mha3484 wrote:

Reading the explosive child helped me a lot.

Thanks! It's a great book I read that book plus Good Inside plus Highly sensitive child plus the nurtured heart approach, but at this point I need someone who can guide me one on one

amother

cornflower

Sat, Jan 14 2023, 8:55 pm

amother OP wrote:

Lakewood
Thanks, how does she charge and were you happy with the recommendations?

she charged 350 and hour which was enough for me.
She doesn't actually see the child, ( sometimes she'll go down to the school to see the child for a minute.)
I was happy with recommendations. She is very down to earth and practical, really listens, and I felt like she got the picture.
She has a masters in special ed and child psychology

amother

Sat, Jan 14 2023, 9:00 pm

amother cornflower wrote:

Thank you so much

Anyone else? is play therapy a good idea?

amother

Obsidian

Sat, Jan 14 2023, 9:07 pm

I have the same issue with 7 yr old DS.
Most days I just want to cry. He hurts my other kids constantly, uses his words to make fun of them or get them upset, manipulated them to do only want he wants, and makes them cry and doesn't listen to anything we say.
It's so so frustrating.

Not to distract from you, OP, but if anyone has a name of a therapist/social worker in Monsey that has openings for weekends or evenings, pls let me know. I'm willing to pay privately.
DH and I also need parenting help to deal with him properly (what ends up is a lot of yelling) and I don't know where to turn.

#BestBubby

Sat, Jan 14 2023, 10:35 pm

Try giving 10 minutes attention when DD gets home,
Give a snack and drink and sit with DD and ask about her day.

Tell DD for every 30 minutes of good behavior, you will read her a story or play a game.

Bad behavior gets timeout, WITHOUT mommy.

amother

Magnolia

Sat, Jan 14 2023, 11:10 pm

I would start with Boe evaluation to see what are her strengths and weaknesses.
Ask for psychological evaluation.
They will also do educational evaluation.
Unless they don't do evaluation on good students? Not sure about that.

You can try here:
Ziva Kriger Childrens Services
Work: (732) 886-9527
Email: intake@zkcs.org
Website: www.zkcs.org
Or try chemed behavioral help or lcsc for an intake and evaluation with one of their therapist.

amother

Sun, Feb 18 2024, 12:07 pm

Bumping up this thread it has been a full year now and nothing has changed Crying

When she is with friends she is amazing and bh school she is great but literally this morning she just woke up MAD. It makes me so sad why does she have so much anger in her at such a young age?
Just this morning she hurt my younger kids, spoke with chutzpah to me, bothered the younger kids who were playing nicely with toys, locked the door to my room, hit me.......
She is 6 now.

Looking for recs for a child therapist, best would be someone that would see myself, DH, & DD.

Thank you

amother

Lightpink

Sun, Feb 18 2024, 10:03 pm

Have you ever thought of doing a neuro-psych to get to the underlying cause of her behaviors? It may give you a ton of insight and help you focus on the correct approach for her.

amother

Lightpink

Sun, Feb 18 2024, 10:08 pm

amother OP wrote:

I would love to I am just lost as to how I even go about getting that done.

Located in Lakewood

I called relief and they gave me recs based on my insurance (or if you opt to go out of pocket-it can be about 5k)

They can tell you if the behavior is stemming for anxiety, language, adhd, etc. Will pinpoint the triggers.

amother

Sun, Feb 18 2024, 10:12 pm

amother Lightpink wrote:

Thank you for taking the time to respond!

What does the eval look like is it just questions to the child?

Once they identified the trigger and you went in that direction did you see improvement?

amother

Lightpink

Sun, Feb 18 2024, 10:15 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thank you for taking the time to respond!

What does the eval look like is it just questions to the child?

Once they identified the trigger and you went in that direction did you see improvement?

My knowledge just about ends there. I was put on a 4 month waiting list and still haven’t gone yet. I don’t know how it works but it was suggested to me from many different people (professionals) that we met with.

amother

Sun, Feb 18 2024, 10:16 pm

amother Lightpink wrote:

Hatzlacha to you then! Continued strength on this journey