Pregnant with a boy and

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Forum -> Pregnancy & Childbirth -> Baby Names

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amother

Aster

Thu, Nov 04 2021, 5:11 pm

Following
I’m in exactly the same boat

amother

Steel

Thu, Nov 04 2021, 5:15 pm

I say wait for the baby to be born first and then you can ask for guidance. There were times I looked at the baby and said no he is not a Shmuel, he is a Mordechai etc.

amother

Yolk

Thu, Nov 04 2021, 5:32 pm

I would share my dilemma with my parents before the bris.

I would tell them I'd love to honour them both but obviously can't. Knowing my own parents, they would definitely be mevater and easily work it out.

Isramom8

Thu, Nov 04 2021, 7:30 pm

My DD is in this situation, as both my husband and I lost our fathers a year ago. She was close with both of her zaidys.

I brought this up with the couple. I said that - if they choose to name after a grandfather - in my opinion, they should choose my FIL's name, because my MIL is still alive and honoring her with that joy would be the priority. IY"H both zaidys will be named after eventually.

They seemed relieved and said they had wondered what to do.

Anyway, I get a girl vibe. DD said they found out and prefer not to share the gender. And they didn't bring up naming after that.

amother

Olive

Thu, Nov 04 2021, 10:49 pm

amother [ Lily ] wrote:

Kibbud av does NOT come in to the picture when naming a baby! The only feelings to take into consideration when naming a child is those of the father and mother of the child. That's it.
Our parents had their chance to name their own kids, now we get to name ours with whatever name we choose to.

This was our feeling, not sure why you think otherwise. Our parents never said boo about name choices, this is how we the parents of the baby made our choice without anyone else’s opinions.

amother

Lightgreen

Thu, Nov 04 2021, 11:17 pm

My son is named after 2 grandfathers. My grandfather had 2 names, DHs grandfather had 3 names. We took the first name of each grandfather and put the name of the grandfather with less people named after him as the first name. No one had any complaints 😉

amother

Emerald

Thu, Nov 04 2021, 11:20 pm

amother [ Olive ] wrote:

Dh felt that in a case where both names are equal then Kibbud av comes before kibbud eim so that's how we chose. If there were other factors we might have made a different decision. It also helped that there was no pressure from either parent so we didn't feel bad with either choice.

It’s not just his feeling it’s also what the kitzur shulchan aruch says.

I asked and was told my father can easily be Mochel and it’s not a clear cut halacha more like guidance.

amother

Snapdragon

Thu, Nov 04 2021, 11:57 pm

We were in a similar situation when my son was born. We had 2 names to choose from: MIL's father's name was one. My grandfather (my mom's father) and DH's grandfather (fil's father) had the same name. It was somewhat expected that we would go with Mil's father's name. However, there was already a cousin named for him. No one was named after our 2 grandfathers' shared name.

We went back and forth for 15 days because bris was delayed until Day 16. It was obvious we should go with the shared name and be able to name for two people. But not going with the other was certainly going to make MIL upset as my 1st son was named after my other grandfather and not her father.

The day before his bris was Shabbos, and I told dh we needed to decide finally. To my surprise he said we should name the shared name. It made so much sense. This name was a perfect fit for my son.

Not what anyone expected. My older kids missed the name being announced because they were expecting the other one and hadn't heard it, and were confused....lol

I HIGHLY recommend waiting until baby is born. One name will be the right fit when he is born!

Isramom8

Sun, Apr 28 2024, 9:29 am

Isramom8 wrote:

To update: She had a girl. Then a DDIL had a boy and named him after my FIL. Everyone was happy. Then another DDIL had a boy and named him after my father.

amother

Trillium

Sun, Apr 28 2024, 9:37 am

amother Yolk wrote:

I would inform them about the dilemma and tell them you’re going to do a goral. (That’s the advice we got from a rov when naming one of our sons)

Ruchel

Sun, Apr 28 2024, 10:54 am

Shoah family here
We named after people who
Weren't named after
We had in straight line
Not before a certain time frame
I say maybe see if someone needs a name

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