making guests confortable

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Making guests confortable

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lt5766

Fri, Feb 15 2008, 8:37 am

Hi, I have guests coming over for Shabbat. The are not frum and I think they either think that I will judge them or maybe they are uncomfortable with the fact that they don't observe... either way they seem to be a little defensive on the topic even though I don't think I ever given anybody a reason to feel that way.
They've already asked what do they need to wear for lunch... (skirt/kippa)
I just want to create a relaxed atmosphere for my guests. But I know they will feel pressured into observing if we start saying dvar Torah.
Is there way to keep the Shabbat atmosphere and make it a pleasant experience for them?
They have kids, maybe it's a good idea to involve them somehow?

amother

Fri, Feb 15 2008, 8:58 am

Just have your normal shabbos meal. If you regularly have dvar torah, then do so. I mean I wouldnt start giving over halachos, maybe stick to a nice story from the parsha. As far as dressing, I mean its not just defensive, they prob dont want to feel out of place either. I would tell the man, if he wants a kippah for the meal, not to worry you can give him one. And as for the woman, I would just say whatever you wear is fine, but yes, e/o else will be wearing skirts. The children being there will for sure help relax the atmosphere, but I would just stick to your normal shabos routine

cdawnr

Fri, Feb 15 2008, 9:46 am

Explain what you are doing but don't make them do it.

"Invite everyone for theritual hand washing...explain." Ask quietly, to the side, if they know the bracha and if nlot would they like to repeat it with you, always as an offer never a directive.

If they don't want to, go with it. (For several years my mother had this weird issue with washing. Both her kids had become frum. Whever she spent shabbas she was very respectful but refused to wash hands for bread. Now she does, but we never figured out why that was her thing. Probably because that is really the only active part of the meal stuff, the rest is more passive)

amother

Mon, Mar 24 2008, 10:55 pm

just do it as you always do make no different that they are there...if they ask answer but cont..as every week

Motek

Tue, Mar 25 2008, 9:13 pm

lt5766 wrote:

I think they either think that I will judge them or maybe they are uncomfortable with the fact that they don't observe...

they accepted your invitation, right? so relax Smile

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