I’m so worried…. I’m exhausted already

amother

Fri, Apr 05 2024, 5:48 pm

I’m soooo exhausted. It’s getting harder & harder every year.
I feel like I’m running a one woman show.

I have some cleaning help.
But the cooking is on me & the organizing everything

No single kids at home anymore

I’m running out of stamina.

& I can tell my kids it’ll be simple this year but even that is hard.

What do I do?
Ps. I’m in bed right now.
This happens to me eveey Yom Tov.

I can handle every day life but Yom Tov completely wipes me out.
Shopping , menu, cooking, baking, working
Rinse repeat

My dh hurt his back last Friday. Like a week ago.
He has a history of a bad back. Has been pretty good up until last week
He thought by now he’d be up to helping & shlep ping stuff.
Doesn’t look like it

I know I should be nicer b/c it’s not his fault. But bottem line is, he can’t do what he thought he’d be able to by now.

I decided I’m ordering side salads for Yom Tov. I don’t care how much it costs.

librarygirl

Fri, Apr 05 2024, 5:55 pm

Oy, that's hard. Do your kids live near by? Can you give them a list and ask them to shop with your cc? Can they come over at night and help cook?

amother

Outerspace

Sat, Apr 06 2024, 9:14 pm

amother OP wrote:

Are you my twin?
Did I write this?
I feel the same way

Menu for first days
4 slabs of salmon
4 roasts
4 trays of cut chicken with bottled sauce (I freeze them raw, seasoned and sauced, ready to put in the oven.
Baked potato, sweet potato
Roasted bags of frozen veg.

Then I’ll buy lots of stuff to make salads with, but someone else makes salads

amother

NeonPink

Sat, Apr 06 2024, 9:21 pm

Can you do what my mil does? She makes the same meals, nights have one menu and days have another menu on repeat. So she’ll make multiples of same dishes, no variety. One type of chicken, one type of meat, 1 starch and 1 vegetable kugel. Dessert is an easy cake like brownies or toll house squares. Soup is always chicken soup, fish is gefilta rolls.

amother

Sat, Apr 06 2024, 9:58 pm

amother NeonPink wrote:

I guess I can.
But I feel bad disappointing my kids.
But I think this year I have no choice.

My kids don’t live local

amother

Sat, Apr 06 2024, 10:01 pm

Also,
I’m dealing with the effects of long covid.
Have really painful circulation issues with my legs.
I read my op from a year ago here.
It’s like nothings changed. Still in a lot of pain every night. I sleep with a weighted blanket

amother

Sat, Apr 06 2024, 10:21 pm

chestnut wrote:

If it's too hard for you, maybe it's time to stop hosting and enjoy going to your kids for yomim tovim, pesach including?

I think that sounds like a great idea.

But too late for this year.

I just checked out a couple of websites to order some side salads & kugels.
That’s what I’ll do this year

imasinger

Sat, Apr 06 2024, 10:24 pm

Refuah shleima! I'm glad you're doing what you need to do.

Your kids will (hopefully, assuming they are mentchlich) appreciate your taking care of yourself, and think that your health, energy, and sanity are worth more than the additional favorite foods.

amother

Calendula

Sat, Apr 06 2024, 10:25 pm

Feeling the same. I plan to make very simple food. If the kids want fancy, they can make it themselves on YT or Chol Hamoed! It will be so nice having everyone together even though it’s a lot of work.

amother

Blush

Sun, Apr 07 2024, 12:12 am

amother Outerspace wrote:

I do the above but there all the extras like washing the lettuce for seder, charades, salt water lol, getting rooms ready, reg laundry, snack for kids, yoghurts. It just feels so overwhelming.

amother

Holly

Sun, Apr 07 2024, 1:07 am

amother OP wrote:

I think that sounds like a great idea.

But too late for this year.

I just checked out a couple of websites to order some side salads & kugels.
That’s what I’ll do this year

That’s a great idea. Order as much as you can you need to take care of yourself you can’t get sick and break down.

lamplighter

Sun, Apr 07 2024, 1:12 am

Please be honest with your children. Tell them that hosting is getting to be too much and you're really going to need their help this year to pull it off. Don't be a myrtr. They care about you.

chestnut

Sun, Apr 07 2024, 2:09 am

amother OP wrote:

I think that sounds like a great idea.

But too late for this year.

I just checked out a couple of websites to order some side salads & kugels.
That’s what I’ll do this year

Great idea for this year!
Maybe also get (more) cleaning help and ask your kids to help with some cooking if they're coming early enough to do that. Also make them in charge of chol hamoed and last days' meals. And serving/clearing off!

ShishKabob

Sun, Apr 07 2024, 8:20 am

lamplighter wrote:

Please be honest with your children. Tell them that hosting is getting to be too much and you're really going to need their help this year to pull it off. Don't be a myrtr. They care about you.

This

Also, are you sure that it's too late for this year to go away?

According to many posters on imamother, many are doing huge favors to their parents by coming to them. That's why I'm asking.

Hugs, wishing you a beautiful, restful and peaceful yom tov.

amother

Mayflower

Sun, Apr 07 2024, 9:03 am

Sounds like a lot for you op.
but also sounds like you know what you need to do. IE this year buying more....next year not making!
if you can afford cleaning help over yt after meals to clean up, sweep , wash up and reset the table for the next meal it's a big help.
Also during the prep week if you need maybe at end of the day 2 hrs of help to wash up and clean kitchen before you begin again....
whatever you can afford please take....help and buying of food.
And I still think marrieds can bring and or buy....one can deal with paperware, one with drinks, one with seder stuff