Please help! Day #3

amother

Ghostwhite

Sun, Dec 31 2023, 11:39 pm

amother OP wrote:

Gosh
These responses are too confusing
Don't push it you'll regret it
Don't stop you'll confuse her
She isn't ready

But why isn't she ready? Doesn't the progress I mentioned mean something?

If you think she is ready she is probably ready. If she wasn’t ready she wouldn’t be going on the toilet at all. I’ve toilet trained 6 kids while working. It sounds like you are off to a good start- you don’t need to take off more work. Just send her tomorrow in a diaper and when you come home take it off until bedtime. It definitely works.

amother

Petunia

Sun, Dec 31 2023, 11:59 pm

24 months is VERY VERY young!!
Why are you so intent on toilet training?

My hardest trainings were my older kids, one of whom I felt pressured to train because of getting into school the next year. They were approx. 32 months old. Miserable months!
My younger kids I was chilled and did it when they asked for it, even if it was age 3+.
One of my youngests trained themselves (almost completely on their own) at around 33 months.

Toilet training is so so stressful.

Your child is not toilet trained until they go without being prompted, can verbalize that they need to, can get on and off toilet on their own ,etc

amother

Amaryllis

Mon, Jan 01 2024, 12:10 am

Totally totally relate to you op.

And yes it is confusing this thread.

If you feel you want to stop dont feel like a failure.
She got good practice and it will makenit easier for next time.

Also no problem to take a break if its getting too much for you.

Iv btdt.

It will make it easier next time I promise.
Good luck.

amother

DarkPurple

Mon, Jan 01 2024, 1:31 am

amother OP wrote:

Gosh
These responses are too confusing
Don't push it you'll regret it
Don't stop you'll confuse her
She isn't ready

But why isn't she ready? Doesn't the progress I mentioned mean something?

OP, just wanted to add, I reread your op. No it’s not progress.
A child who is really ready to be toilet trained does not have that many accidents on day one or day two. When you’ve trained children who are actually ready, you’ll see what I mean. Its a world of a difference.
Don’t push her ahead when she isn’t ready. Just don’t. It causes agmas nefesh and frustration all around and sets you up for months of accidents

amother

Trillium

Mon, Jan 01 2024, 3:44 am

Op, don’t pressure urself or ur child. U can’t toilet train under pressure. And u can lose ur mind if u stay home and won’t work out in the end… every child is different and takes a different amount of time.
Lemme suggest to u what I did the past few times. It worked amazing and the best part was we all remained calm and sane:
Always start on Monday(latest Tuesday). Send her to morah. The minute she comes home u change to panties and train until bedtime. The reason u start at the beginning of the week is cuz it gives them structure to understand that “at home I wear panties and use the toilet”. It doesn’t confuse them. It keeps ur sanity cuz the amount if hours r do able. It brings out the best in everyone. By the time shabbos comes and she stays home. She associates home with panties and u can leave her in panties over shabbos. It should give her enough time until Monday. Usually by Monday they r ready to go to playgroup wearing panties😊
Good luck!

Brit in Israel

Mon, Jan 01 2024, 4:03 am

OP is your child comfortable feeling safe on the toilet/potty? Maybe try a different seat it can change the whole situation.
Training at 24 months isn't ideal but can be done but it's a slower process of teaching them the feelings and needs which they learn on their own when they are older and brain is ready for it.
Remember just because your mother or friend did it at 24 month most regular children are not ready.

Tips in general for training is loads and loads of drinks in cups/straws/juice.
Immediate reward even if it's small like a choc chip or sicker together with alot of praises.
A safe and comfortable place for them to make. Getting over the fear of letting go and making is more important then the practicality for you of them making on the toilet so not to have the potty in the dining room and then training from potty to toilet.
Being prepared to stay in for 3 days minimum.

IMHO 24 months is young. Both mine I trained more to 30 months by day 2 there were no accidents maybe some wet undies from going too late over the next day or 2. By a week they were dry and clean day and night.

If you stop now it's not that you are a failure it's that you are doing the best for your child and you.

Dolly Welsh

Mon, Jan 01 2024, 4:13 am

Just in general, throw out the poopy pants. Do NOT wash them. Just throw them straight in the garbage.

Make a line in the budget for this. It's not that much money.

They never really come clean, the stain is still there, and you risk hating the kid. You do NOT need that.

It's cheaper than psychiatry. Just wash the pee pants, but throw out the poop ones.

Do NOT tell anybody. Not your husband, not your mother.

Into the trash.

As for this particular case, sounds as if you might be hurrying her.

Don't let the Morah dictate the situation. SHE doesn't have to live with this kid for the next twenty years. You do.

amother

Slategray

Mon, Jan 01 2024, 5:09 am

She needs a ton of drinks, ice pops, cucumber slices, anything liquid based so she has tons of experience. I would definitely just send her tomorrow in a pull up and see what happens. take it off when she gets home. A sticker every time she pees on the toilet and a lolly or something more when she poops . once Fri hits she can be back in undies all wkend and hopefully by Monday ready to go to skl in undies.

amother

Navy

Mon, Jan 01 2024, 5:18 am

I agree with others that she's young and older will be MUCH easier. And no, I don't think it confuses a kid to stop. She's only 24 months!

When my dd was 2 and something, we tried. She peed on the chair and was so so upset. I told her it seems like it's hard for her and we could go back to diapers and try again when she's a bit bigger. She was so relieved! She actually trained a bit after 3 and it was so easy! No accidents, she just started wearing underwear and using the toilet. And she would tell me sometimes about the time she peed on the chair. She stopped with a diaper at night a couple of months later. Again, no accidents. She was ready and that was it.

OP, is dd upset when she has an accident? Does she very much want to stop with diapers? If she doesn't care, tell her you're stopping and you'll do it again when she's bigger. If she really wants it, I'd stick with it after school. She's young enough that I think you can just tell her that that's the way it is. Actually, you said you're afraid she'll go in the pull-up. So what? She wants to go in the pull-up so let her. It sounds like you want this WAY more than her. I think you should try again when she's bigger and she wants this too. Unless you have a big reason you need to push her earlier.

amother

Papayawhip

Mon, Jan 01 2024, 8:12 am

Dolly Welsh wrote:

I have a power jet on my shower head. I think that's what it is called. It's an extremely strong concentrated stream. I used that to clean the dirty pants. Not one had stains on even the light colors.
My son had a hard time in one of his classes being afraid of the toilet and we had several weeks of dirty pants until he overcame it.
Didn't bother me to wash it and he didn't feel guilty that I was throwing out his clothes because his fear.

If you have the means to throw it enjoy but not an option for everyone especially in Israel where each pair costs alot compared to other countries

amother

Mon, Jan 01 2024, 10:42 am

Thanks everyone for your comments and suggestions.
Today she is in a pullup
She asked to go to the potty 3 separate times. She sat for a few minutes but did nothing at all
She also didn't do it in her pullup.

I'm
So
Confused
What now

BrisketBoss

Mon, Jan 01 2024, 10:50 am

amother OP wrote:

Sounds like she's interested but not fully ready. It takes a lot of skills. Even in the olden days where everyone were training early because they wanted to stop washing cloth, it didn't always go smoothly.

Every time you hear about a child peeing on the floor in the wake of a new baby sibling--you know that child was trained early. If you wait long enough then you don't really have to do 'training' at all.

amother

Mon, Jan 01 2024, 11:46 am

BrisketBoss wrote:

Thanks for the advice.
In the end, she started peeing in her pull-up and said to me oish! So I placed her on the potty, and she finished peeing there, then pooped

Brit in Israel

Mon, Jan 01 2024, 12:03 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thanks for the advice.
In the end, she started peeing in her pull-up and said to me oish! So I placed her on the potty, and she finished peeing there, then pooped

That's progress!
She might continue and you can encourage it or she might not get the feeling of needing before the start. And drop it.