Nine Days Vent | Imamother

amother

Sun, Jul 16 2023, 11:43 am

amother Purple wrote:

I didnt read anything here. Just coming to say - talk to your rov! We got heter every year to serve my child chicken. Lots of allergies and only way she gets enough.
Each situation different
Ask.

Thanks.
I asked.
Because each individual person is not allergic to too much, no individual is able to get a heter for chicken (except we might try to do a siyum).
Because 2 people are allergic to nuts and legumes but can eat dairy, eggs, and fish.
1 person is allergic to eggs and legumes but can eat dairy, fish, and nuts
1 person is allergic to dairy but can eat other things.
1 person is allergic to fish.

So there's food for each person to eat, but I have to cook all the commutations and permutations.

ra_mom

Sun, Jul 16 2023, 12:51 pm

amother OP wrote:

That is so so so hard!! ❤️ So overwhelming to get everybody's needs met.

First thing I'd do is cook the major components, enough to last a few days. Then everyone can combine what they need when they're hungry, even if it's not dinner time. Plain pasta, hard-boiled eggs, baked fish, cheese slices. A lot of each, in nice containers so they're ready and easy to fill a plate.

Then move on to dinners this week; Wednesday & Thursday.

Wednesday:
Soft flour tortillas
Avocado guacamole
Tomato pico de gallo

Flaked fish, flaked (like turbot or tilapia)
For the 1 person who can't eat fish, flaked feta cheese to add to their tortilla)

I'd also make a pasta (egg free) salad that everyone can have with olive oil, garlic salt & pepper, whole canned mushrooms, cut baby corn, sliced pickles & olives.

And also a fresh cut salad that everyone can enjoy to round up the meal and make sure everyone is full.

Thursday:
Warm sushi rice
Avocado
Mango
Scallions
Spicy (vegan) mayo (Hellmann's vegan mayo)
Sweet sauce (if need soy free let me know)

Cubed fish, variety
Cubed white cheddar cheese or cubed seared tofu for the 1 person who is not allowed fish

I'd make a hearty vegetable barley soup to serve alongside the poke bowls.

Also a large platter of veggie stix and dip (vegan mayo base or avocado base).

I would also buy frozen items that can be heated and served. Especially for the non fish eater. And anyone else who can have.

amother

DarkGreen

Sun, Jul 16 2023, 12:58 pm

amother OP wrote:

How old are all allergic people? Some people can cook for themselves.
I have 3 teenage boys. DS1 and DS3 are super picky. They make their own pasta with cheese or cheese toast. DS3 will make himself eggs or shakshuka. DS2 is allergic to eggs, dairy, fish, nuts. He cooks soups, opens cans of chickpeas or corn, makes couscous. DS4 (3 years old) is allergic to eggs and dairy. I am allergic to egg, fish and nuts.
I make a big pot of pasta, or tray of baked potatoes, and everyone chooses their topping. I have frozen fish sticks and frozen falafel and frozen vegetarian burgers, and anyone who doesn't want what's on offer can throw some into the microwave or airfryer for a quick alternative. We have no heterim, and although we make a siyum, we still dont have meat at the siyum. We have the same meals or variations multiple times during the 9 days, no need for a complete different menu each day.

Not all the cooking has to be on you.

amother

Mayflower

Sun, Jul 16 2023, 1:02 pm

It’s the 9 days. I’ll probably be eating the same foods over and over. The only protein source I can have is fish. With a gluten free starch and a veggie. I won’t starve and neither will they. If each member of the family has one safe meal to eat, they’re taken care of. They could each make their own smoothies as dessert to sweeten things (assuming that they all have some sort of milk they can drink 🤔)

amother

Mayflower

Sun, Jul 16 2023, 1:05 pm

amother Valerian wrote:

Dc was recently diagnosed as Lactose intolerance. Any dairy causes severe stomach issues (we almost went to the ER thinking it was appendix)

Lactaid pills don't work.

Dh refuses to make a siyum during the 9 days. I have no idea what I can feed dc. I already make parve pancakes, waffles and pasta to send to camp for lunch.

Dairy is the easiest thing to avoid for sure. Does your family eat a lot of dairy? You can buy cheese substitute if you’re really missing the cheese.

amother

Currant

Sun, Jul 16 2023, 1:15 pm

amother Mayflower wrote:

Dairy is the easiest thing to avoid for sure. Does your family eat a lot of dairy? You can buy cheese substitute if you’re really missing the cheese.

The cheese substitutes are pretty gross. Fortunately only my husband is dairy free at this point (allergic kid bH outgrew it, ken yirbu by all the rest of her allergies), and he doesn't mind it. So I make 1 serving with fake cheese and the rest with regular.

amother

Burgundy

Sun, Jul 16 2023, 1:25 pm

amother Mayflower wrote:

can make smoothies with juice or water. I add avocado for added nutrition

amother

Rose

Sun, Jul 16 2023, 1:37 pm

It’s so hard. I have a kid allergic to sesame, peanuts and egg. Another one lactose intolerant. Super super picky kids that supper is always complicated. My pickiest kid- I’ve asked him if I could buy you supper from any restaurant, anything you want, doesn’t matter the cost, what would you want? And he couldn’t think of anything!

We have a sandwich maker and keep frozen pizza stocked in the freezer. On nights where he doesn’t want one of those options he sticks pizza in the toaster or bread and cheese in the sandwich maker. He also knows how to make smoothies (can use almond milk). Sometimes my husband pitches in and will make something quick for some kids (eggs, Mac n cheese, grilled cheese, fish sticks). I used to make multiple suppers but I can’t anymore.
Does it have to be all on you?

amother

Sun, Jul 16 2023, 3:32 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Imamothers with allergies in the family, how on earth are you coping with Pesach?

Chicken, potatoes, and vegetables
Meat, potatoes, and vegetables
Turkey, vegetables and sweet potatoes
Yogurt, sliced cheese, (for those not allergic to dairy)
Eggs for those not allergic to eggs.
Matza
Fruit

Pesach is actually easier for me than the Nine Days. I serve filling meals of fleishigs and potatoes. And we are quite satisfied.
And our soy, peanut, bean, legume allergies are irrelevant

amother

cornflower

Sun, Jul 16 2023, 3:35 pm

Op, I get it. For a meal before tisha bav, I've been known to make regular baked ziti, dairy free baked ziti, and gluten free baked ziti with dairy. In addition to everything else at the meal. Your vent has hit. No matter how many options you have to make, you're making a ton of things all the time and holding them all in your head. And it's nobody's fault, so having someone almost always have leftovers and not end up eating much, or to be the one who has to be responsible for themselves when everyone else gets cooked for, doesn't sit right.

amother

Outerspace

Sun, Jul 16 2023, 3:53 pm

I hear you OP. I'm not looking forward. My husband doesn't eat fish or potatoes or any white flour. One of my kids is severely lactose intolerant. On an average pizza night, I make 1 whole wheat pie, 2 regular, one cheese less, and one veggie pie. And I make the dough from scratch. Once a week I can put up with this, but now 9 days... and there are not a whole lot of options...

At least we will get credit for feeling the avelus...

amother

cornflower

Sun, Jul 16 2023, 4:09 pm

amother OP wrote:

Yep. And for the gluten free people too. Pesach is much much easier.