He refuses to go | Imamother

amother

Wed, Mar 15 2023, 5:24 pm

My 3 yr old is completely toilet trained... besides for the fact that he refuses to go on the toilet

1 he wakes up dry each morning
2 per the advice of my pediatrician I have been sending him in underwear to morah. He refuses to go on the toilet and holds it in for the entire day (9- 3)
3 when he gets home, he let's me know that he needs to go and we change him into a pull up
4 on a few occasions, when I change him to a pull up, I saw a small wet spot on his underwear, which means that he started going and he stopped himself!

Basically, if he wanted to be trained, he would be trained in an hour. Unfortunately he seems to have some sort of anxiety around going on the toilet or potty and I just don't know how to help him. (I have tried so many different programs and charts and incentives, and all his friends are toilet trained. It's clearly not a matter of inventive or motivator)
Whenever I bring up going on the toilet or potty, he looks at me with this major anxiety in his eyes and just says a flat no. I just don't know what to do or how to help him

shabbatiscoming

Wed, Mar 15 2023, 5:35 pm

Op holding on one's need to pee or poo does not make him toilet trained.
And not sure why a doctor gets to decide when a kid should be in underwear.
You put a kid in underwear when they actually go to the toilet.
Your child sounds the complete opposite than toilet trained. He dounds not ready yet, to be honest.

BrisketBoss

Wed, Mar 15 2023, 6:03 pm

Anyways this is getting late for potty training. Good news is you're well within the range for what I do, child led toilet learning. It's not until about 4.5 years old that it becomes a very good idea for the parent to confidently take the lead instead of just continuing the status quo.

So if you'll take my advice, just wait for a while. Don't even mention the toilet. Reset.

amother

Winterberry

Wed, Mar 15 2023, 7:23 pm

amother OP wrote:

Very normal behavior for toilet training.
BTDT 7 times. And each time was a different experience.
Try setting up a potty in a room where you can spend some time with him, reading a book or watching something, to keep him distracted. Be prepared for some puddles and sit him down as soon as he starts.... Dress him in a shirt only. If possible, keep him home for a couple of days or do it over a weekend. The good news, once he overcomes his fear he'll train very easily beh since he seems to have great control!