Tween refuses to wear pads

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amother

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 11:44 pm

My daughter is older than her grade, she got her period the beginning of the year when she was 10.5 in 4th grade…. She’s super self conscious about it and She refuses to wear pads. Period! ((Pun Indented 😂)
I got her period panties as an extra protection but she uses it by itself. Her periods are probably not super heavy because she doesn’t leak through her skirts but her underwear and tights become gross…
I already asked, begged and pleaded but she wouldn’t… when I ask her if she’s wearing, she’s lying that she’s wearing one when she’s not.
Any ideas??? I’m at my wits end.

smss

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 11:47 pm

I'm just picturing how it would work for a 4th grader to be dealing with pads at school. They don't have lockers... is she supposed to take one out of her backpack in front of everybody?

I thought the period panties can be worn on their own without leaking? Does she maybe need a different level of absorption?

amother

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 11:49 pm

smss wrote:

It is very hard that she had to deal with it. I feel very bad for her.
But she should at least put on a pad in the mrng before going to school…

mummiedearest

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 11:54 pm

Get her heavier absorption period panties.

Keep some hydrogen peroxide handy, it removes blood instantly.

amother

Periwinkle

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 12:11 am

What's her issue? If it's about changing in the school bathrooms, I would ask the school to accommodate her (and any other girls who are menstruating when most of their class doesn't). Maybe they can discreetly put a trash can and emergency pads in one bathroom stall. Maybe they can give special permission for young girls on their period to use a different bathroom? If the issue is the pad itself, higher absorption period panties are an option, but they do need to be changed as frequently as pads. Maybe she can bring Ziploc bags to school and discreetly put her used ones in a Ziplock in a pencil case sized bag?

amother

Garnet

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 12:15 am

Poor kid that’s really young for a period. Side point you should speak to an endocrinologist make sure everything is ok level wise.

amother

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 12:18 am

Thanks for the idea of higher absorption pad/panties. She only has the ones from the local stores it’s just a thicker fabric.
The issue is not only in school. It’s also at home on shabbos, at night etc.

Spoke to her pediatrician, 10.5 is the new normal. The issue is only that she’s in 4th grade. Most girls are in 5th already.

amother

Navyblue

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 12:24 am

My 7th grade DD has had her period for more that a year and wears thinx teen underwear with no pads. I have never ever had any issue with her leaking on tights or clothing.
They are very pricey and pretty yuck to clean, but something I am willing to spend money on and do for her at this stage in her life.

tichellady

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 12:28 am

What does she think makes sense? Is she in denial? Do you understand where she is coming from?

amother

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 12:30 am

tichellady wrote:

What does she think makes sense? Is she in denial? Do you understand where she is coming from?

Yes I think denial.

amother

Seafoam

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 12:36 am

amother Navyblue wrote:

What made you offer them instead of pads?

amother

DarkViolet

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 12:36 am

Can you show her that there are special pads for teens (they fit better in smaller underwear).

My daughter likes always teen.

DrMom

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 12:40 am

Poor kid!

You need to sit down with her somewhere quiet -- when she does not have her period and the issue is not immediate -- and ask her what this is all about.

- Does she not like the feeling of pads?
- Is she embarrassed to take supplies with her to the restroom at school? (You said she does this even at home, so I assume that isn't the issue)
- Is she just in denial about the whole thing? She is young, so maybe you'll need to help with this.

When she got her first period, did she know what was going on? How was this all explained to her? Maybe the whole issue has a very negative connotation for her and needs to be reframed.

amother

Navyblue

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 12:56 am

Quote:

What made you offer them instead of pads?

She started with pads but really complained about them - how annoying they were, uncomfortable, and embarrassing to deal with in school. I had seen the idea of period underwear on this site, so looked into it more. For girls that have to deal with this so young, I feel like they're almost life changing. I wish I could have had something like that at that age.

chams

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 1:18 am

I had that with one of my dd. When they get their period early it is usually light and not regular. My dd had the issue of not wanting to change her pads in school. So she wore thinks with pads. I bought from Walmart the equate extra long liner pads. She would put on a lot of pads before she went to school and then throughout the day she would pull one of so she would then use the clean one underneath. Since they are cheap pads they would come off easily. She does go through many boxes of pads but it was worth it.

amother

Acacia

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 1:19 am

I always did and still do hate pads. I don’t have real heavy bleeding and I usually stuff in tissues, sort of tampon style, that I change frequently. Works perfectly for me.

nicole81

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 1:28 am

Invest in thinx. Decent period panties are meant to be worn alone.

amother

Brass

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 1:33 am

I use period underwear. With no pad. Get good ones, they should not leak. I don't find they smell or need to be changed frequently. But in any case, if she won't wear pads, start with good, absorbent period underwear. They are comfortable and discreet. If she finds they start to feel gross or smelly during the day she can start using pads. But in the meantime get her better period underwear!

Dolly Welsh

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 1:45 am

Pads feel lumpy, ride up out of place, and also rub and scrape painfully.

By feeling so obvious to the girl, they force her to think about them all the time.

That's why she hates them.

Those other things will have to do.

amother

Cyclamen

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 1:55 am

amother Navyblue wrote:

Quote:

What made you offer them instead of pads?

Sometimes the type of pad matters for comfort.

Keep conversation open and ask her what bothers her about pads and what solutions she has thought about. Explain what period panties are for after that.

I think period panties and just my opinion, are for the end when a light pad or liner is good.

Explain to her that just as the flow starts and ends off differently, we also can be changing pad absorbency level according to the flow days.

Pads with wings stay on better and therefore more comfortable in my opinion.
Thin pads, always brand, so much more comfortable than others I've tried. CVS makes a similar one for light days. Yellow wrapper.

When talking to her try to see what bothers her about it at home before addressing school. Could be there are separate issues and she may be more comfortable opening up about the home part first.

She's young for tampons. If nothing else goes, tampons, some education how to use and thinx underwear to go with it may help her.

She probably has light periods based on what you are saying. Please let her know that cycles usuallyregulate into regular flows at some point and period underwear often is simply not enough for many people. It can be very embarrassing to leak through.

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