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-> Halachic Questions and Discussions
marina
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Wed, Oct 29 2014, 3:05 pm
amother wrote: | but this nisayon is so different and much easier to slip through than keeping kosher! Someone said before the rabanim are all saying there was never such a temptaion in the world, EVER!!! Think about it! |
Ok, I am thinking about it, as per your suggestion. Help me out. What exactly is the temptation and the problem? Shifchas zera? You think there was no shifchas zera temptation before cell phones? Or now men will be tempted to do this more often?
So much of our lives hinge upon the issur of pleasuring. And I'm so tired of it. I personally don't care what your husband does when he's alone. The sperm die anyway, whether released or not. So just leave me, and all the other women out of the drama.
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dimyona
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Wed, Oct 29 2014, 3:05 pm
blossoming wrote: | Sadly some people on this site don't seem to care less what Rabanim say. |
I cannot imagine why a frum woman wouldn't be ok with someone like that making all of her decisions.
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proudmother1
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Wed, Oct 29 2014, 3:18 pm
amother wrote: | but this nisayon is so different and much easier to slip through than keeping kosher! Someone said before the rabanim are all saying there was never such a temptaion in the world, EVER!!! Think about it! |
For you, maybe. Not for everyone.
If enough people have difficulty with another area in Yiddishkeit, will my life then get restricted furthermore, regardless of whether I struggle with that particular issue or not?
BTW, why are you and so many others here anonymous?
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blossoming
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Wed, Oct 29 2014, 3:19 pm
marina wrote: | Ok, I am thinking about it, as per your suggestion. Help me out. What exactly is the temptation and the problem? Shifchas zera? You think there was no shifchas zera temptation before cell phones? Or now men will be tempted to do this more often?
So much of our lives hinge upon the issur of pleasuring. And I'm so tired of it. I personally don't care what your husband does when he's alone. The sperm die anyway, whether released or not. So just leave me, and all the other women out of the drama. |
Marina, this post got me disgusted and I therefore made the decision to stop watching this thread.
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dimyona
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Wed, Oct 29 2014, 3:21 pm
On a more serious note, I think we're all fooling ourselves that it's about pleasuring. I think rabbanim are afraid of the deeper issues that the internet threatens, like easy access to free information about the outside world. Wikipedia. Blogs. Social networks. Finding out that some OTD's are actually happy and successful. That's what they're really afraid of.
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imaima
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Wed, Oct 29 2014, 3:22 pm
blossoming wrote: | Marina, this post got me disgusted and I therefore made the decision to stop watching this thread. |
What is here to watch? better go watch some pop ups...
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amother
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Wed, Oct 29 2014, 3:23 pm
proudmother1 wrote: |
BTW, why are you and so many others here anonymous? |
because people tend to hate us, though deep inside they know they are wrong!
I don't want iamamother members to always remember I was the "mean one" whenever I post on this site...
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shabbatiscoming
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Wed, Oct 29 2014, 3:24 pm
blossoming wrote: | Marina, this post got me disgusted and I therefore made the decision to stop watching this thread. | pplease explain what so disgusted you about marina's post?
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marina
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Wed, Oct 29 2014, 3:25 pm
blossoming wrote: | Marina, this post got me disgusted and I therefore made the decision to stop watching this thread. |
you could report the post, if you like. Then the thread will get locked
But why are you disgusted? Because I used the m-word? Or because I said I'm tired of this directing our lives?
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Barbara
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Wed, Oct 29 2014, 3:25 pm
amother wrote: | All those thngs you mentioned are very, very rare.
Men seeing naked woman on their phones happen everyday. It's Giluy Arayos, 'ya know. |
Not the men I know.
But in any case, do you think that's the "worst transgression that Jews do nowadays"?
That it worse than, say, Weberman?
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proudmother1
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Wed, Oct 29 2014, 3:29 pm
You'll keep coming back - you love it.
Here is the deal blossoming: Try to disagree respectfully.
Not everyone holds by the same Rabbanim. Do you follow everything that every Rav ever said? If yes, I have a long list for you.
There are many perspectives on different issues. You may agree, or disagree. No reason to have a tantrum.
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proudmother1
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Wed, Oct 29 2014, 3:34 pm
amother wrote: | because people tend to hate us, though deep inside they know they are wrong!
I don't want iamamother members to always remember I was the "mean one" whenever I post on this site... |
Who is us?
Then don't be "mean".
This isn't grade school. Can't we respectfully discuss a topic? Even a controversial one?
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mille
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Wed, Oct 29 2014, 3:36 pm
amother wrote: | but this nisayon is so different and much easier to slip through than keeping kosher! Someone said before the rabanim are all saying there was never such a temptaion in the world, EVER!!! Think about it! |
Maybe for you? I dunno about everyone else, but I am much much more tempted by non kosher food. When I don't bring enough lunch when I'm at class, there's literally NOTHING to buy on campus if you keep kosher. It's really annoying and upsetting. I miss a lot of non kosher food from before I kept kosher. I would love to grab a sandwich at panera bread or a delicious burrito from chipotle -- hell, I would settle for the vegetarian/pareve options they have, since they are delicious! But no, it's not kosher. I work near to a Chipotle, too, and I pass it every day on my way to and from work.
But I have self control. I don't have to change my route so I avoid passing the Chipotle, lest I be tempted to go buy a bean and rice burrito that isn't kosher. Even though THAT is what I would be more tempted by, I still don't feel the need to give myself an extra safeguard. I've never even come close to crossing that line.
(Yet, I am never tempted by dirty pics on the internet. Oh, but wait, you are going to claim that it's because I'm a female, and my Higher Spiritual Level means that I am not tempted by such things as the dirty animalistic men, right?? Sorry, doesn't work that way -- especially when you swing both ways )
Filters can be great for some people. But, like shabbatiscoming has said multiple times (marina as well!), it shouldn't be something that rabbis making a blanket RULING on, because, well, it's something we as adults can decide for ourselves if it is something we PERSONALLY need. Just like people add chumrot so they don't cross a certain line, this is like a chumrah in this category. If you don't trust yourself not to look, get a filter. But it should not be mandatory. Just like it shouldn't be mandatory to only shop at kosher grocery stores to avoid 'temptation' of buying treif, or only tzniut clothing stores to avoid the 'temptation' of buying a skirt too short, or only working for a jewish company to avoid 'temptation' of working on shabbat and yom tov...
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dimyona
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Wed, Oct 29 2014, 3:42 pm
mille wrote: | Just like it shouldn't be mandatory to only shop at kosher grocery stores to avoid 'temptation' of buying treif, or only tzniut clothing stores to avoid the 'temptation' of buying a skirt too short, or only working for a jewish company to avoid 'temptation' of working on shabbat and yom tov... |
In some communities those are all mandatory.
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MommyZ
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Wed, Oct 29 2014, 3:48 pm
Ruchel wrote: | I dream of a planet where the worst transgressions Jews do are having a smartphone |
You mean smart phones aren't worse than domestic violence and child abuse/pedophilia? (Saracasm alert)
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MommyZ
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Wed, Oct 29 2014, 3:51 pm
amother wrote: | All those thngs you mentioned are very, very rare.
Men seeing naked woman on their phones happen everyday. It's Giluy Arayos, 'ya know. |
So called frum men also see scantily clad women while walking down city streets, and by going to strip clubs. Smart phones aren't the only way, by any stretch of the imagination.
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dimyona
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Wed, Oct 29 2014, 3:51 pm
Ruchel wrote: | I dream of a planet where the worst transgressions Jews do are having a smartphone |
You and Mark Zuckerberg should talk
http://www.internet.org/
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MommyZ
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Wed, Oct 29 2014, 3:55 pm
chani8 wrote: | When you have the frum world categorizing [filth] in the same box as 'adultery,' no wonder the wives are freaking out about this. Also, the only time wives are allowed to be cuddled by husbands is when they are available for s-x, so s-x and love are intertwined, which is why viewing s-x feels like a betrayal of love. |
My ex watched [filth], and my ex engaged in an adulterous affair. They are not the same. Period.
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Chayalle
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Wed, Oct 29 2014, 4:09 pm
amother wrote: | but this nisayon is so different and much easier to slip through than keeping kosher! Someone said before the rabanim are all saying there was never such a temptaion in the world, EVER!!! Think about it! |
Are you the same poster that always puts the bolded in her post when she posts as imamother? That rings a bell from several other threads. I've started to think of you as the "think about it" amother.
Dimyona, I respectfully disagree that Rabbanim who forbid the internet are afraid of information. I think they have seen alot of fallout - Shalom Bayis issues, addictions, teens at risk, etc....and more than anything, that's the fear - the breakdown of Jewish families.
Just one more point. On a personal level, I do agree to an extent that adults should be able to police themselves. However, giving kids/teens that same trust is in a different category. I do think filters need to be in place there.
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