Driving Lessons | Imamother

southernbubby ↓

Sun, May 14 2006, 7:05 am

Five of my children had licenses at 16 and one was 18. In MI, children go to driver's ed at 14 yrs and 8months. They have the permit at 14yr and 9months. One daughter was that age at the time of her permit.
Now you may ask, do I have rocks in my head? Yes, I do but there is a reason that I did this.
At that age, many children do not have much use for the parents. I found that if I wanted to spend quality time with my kids in a way that they were really interested, it was to say "let's practice your highway merging". I aged about 20 years with each child. It really was an incentive for the kids. At this point, neither daughter is a super- confident driver, so I would not say that learning early makes them more confident. The sons who are still bochrim only drive when they are home and only to necessary places. We also role-play what to do if another bocher were to say, "speed up- you drive like my zeide."

↑ Tefila ↓

Sun, May 14 2006, 7:13 am

Quote:

Now you may ask, do I have rocks in my head? Yes, I do but there is a reason that I did this.

Lol how many actually admit it Twisted Evil

and

Quote:

I aged about 20 years with each child. It really was an incentive for the kids

Don't ask how I read these sentences shock

The thing is this whats the worse case scenerio teaching them early we don't have an extra car so they can't galavant anywhere. Confused

The best case is to use it as an incentive for something you want to see them succeed in Confused

gryp

Sun, May 14 2006, 7:19 am

Quote:

The best case is to use it as an incentive for something you want to see them succeed in

have you read the statistics of fatal crashes by young teenage drivers?

↑ southernbubby ↓

Sun, May 14 2006, 7:26 am

Unfortunately I have heard about the fatalities in teenagers. My son who did not have a license until 18, went to work for a shaliach when he was 16 or 17. The shaliach gave him a map of the area and a car. When he said that he had no license, he was told to drive without one. He did know how but had not made it legal. Boy was that risky!

↑ Tefila ↓

Sun, May 14 2006, 7:31 am

Quote:

When he said that he had no license, he was told to drive without one.

A shliach, a mature person told a minor that shock

was he taking responsibility or what Mad

Ok so those against you have a point. However keep in mind again they have no car of their own nor r they working so they can't go anywhere w/hout us knowing. So I am still undecided .... as usaul. My husband said if I can give him a good reason for them not to learn I should let him know Twisted Evil

↑ southernbubby ↓

Sun, May 14 2006, 7:40 am

Permits do not expire for a long time and can be renewed. If you see the need to spend time driving with your child, you can practice with him for a year or more without making him a licensed driver. You can use practice sessions as incentives for learning. Father and son can have quality time together. Your insurance rates will be high. Our kids are away at yeshiva and cannot drive there. At home they are considered guest drivers so we are not charged unless they are home for 30 days or longer. You can make your son agree never to drive without a license, never drive home from a farbrangen or other party with mashka, and never drive on route 17 to the mountains.
I think that camps should have minimum age requirements and that the driver at camp should have a license for at least 2 years. So far, one of my sons who was under 17, was driving at camp with a new license. As you pointed out, adults who take responsibility need to have some seichal about these new drivers.

DefyGravity ↓

Sun, May 14 2006, 8:49 am

Motek wrote:

For a boy, when it's time for shidduchim. For a girl, I don't know.

Ummmm. . . why only at this point in their life?

I think there are several factors (I'm assuming your talking about a 15, 16 or 17 year old):
Is it necessary that the child get their license at this point in life? Do they live in a city where there is no public transportation and the parents can't cart the child around anymore, or maybe the license is needed for a job?
If the child is dependent on their parents, do the parents want to pay for insurance and driver's ed, or can the child handle the cost?
Can the child handle the responsibilites of driving?

I got my license when I turned 17. Where I grew up, if you wanted to get anywhere, you needed to be able to drive. I don't think it's so necessary (to get a license at such a young age) if you live in a city like NYC or a city with ample public transportation.

shopaholic

Sun, May 14 2006, 8:56 am

Carrot is 100% right. My 17 yr old brother got a ride (down the block only) with his neighbor (same age) who apparerntly doesn't have a license. He was watching the double parked car for his parents & to show off, offered my bro a ride.

My sisters & I got our licenses at 17/18. My mother really needed the extra drivers in the house. My brother is almost 19 & still taking lessons (on breaks home from yeshiva) & I know my parents aren't rushing to give my younger brothers lessons yet.

↑ Motek ↓

Sun, May 14 2006, 1:53 pm

southernbubby wrote:

At that age, many children do not have much use for the parents.

What a horrible thing to say Mad

How about speaking for yourself and your children.

Quote:

I found that if I wanted to spend quality time with my kids in a way that they were really interested, it was to say "let's practice your highway merging".

I think this is an utterly pathetic reason for enabling children to learn to drive.

Furthermore, many people will advise you NOT to teach or practice driving with your own children, as it's stressful, as you pointed out, and not conducive to quality time.

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When he said that he had no license, he was told to drive without one

Did you call the shliach up when you heard this AND GIVE HIM HELL???? Exploding anger

Quote:

We also role-play what to do if another bocher were to say, "speed up- you drive like my zeide."

smart idea

↑ southernbubby ↓

Sun, May 14 2006, 2:16 pm

While it was stressful, my children appreciated it. The alternative to practicing with your children, at whatever age you train them, is to pay someone. The current rate is $40 per hour. In MI, a minor needs 50 hours of practice, 10 of which occur at night.
While it sounds horrible to say that children are less attached or involved with parents during their teens, I think that that is a developmental task of late adolescence. As children separate from parents, they see them in a more critical way. When they were 4yrs old, they thought I was beautiful and should visit them at cheder. At 14, it was, "Ma please don't come when my friends are there". Many parents told me that they were going through the same thing.
It is easy to judge the decisions that other parents make. Realize that we all have different challenges and the solution for everyone is not the same.

amother

Sun, May 14 2006, 3:11 pm

It's not that they have no use for us, it's that they are testing their independence & being with parents doesn't pass the test. Anyway,We let our daughter drive at 16.Her birthday is late in the year& she was very critical of some of the girls who had licenses eg:so & so turns to look at people when she drives.Our son was 16.5, he had made some very mature decisions regarding school that were beyond a 16 yr old. Our next son got his permit at 17.5. He knew there were things he had to do to show his maturity & couldn't /wouldn't do it.You have to judge the necessity & the maturity of the child you are put behind the wheel of a car.

↑ Tefila

Sun, May 14 2006, 3:28 pm

Ladies this was supposed to be a thread on driving and what each person thinks about it ..... why r we getting all hyped up Scratching Head

whats one persons situation is not someone elses .

Lets not overreact now Confused

Ok so back to topic I like seeing difference in approaches both r food for thought Smile

So keep them coming Tongue Out

chen ↓

Mon, May 15 2006, 9:56 am

depends on where you're driving, too. a 14-yr-old driving a pickup on a farm in nebraska or a 17-yr-old on a rural route in kansas is not the same as an 18-yr-old driving in Brooklyn or LA.

↑ DefyGravity

Wed, May 17 2006, 8:10 am

I think it is. It's much easier to become more comfortable behind the wheel at a younger age.
I speak from experience. Although I got my license at 17, I didn't get to drive consistently until I was older and unfortunately, I'm a little nervous when I drive.