Spinoff of dh wants me to wear heels

louche ↓

Tue, Nov 17 2009, 2:52 pm

OK, ladies, we all know what sort of needlessly painful things women endure to please their husbands, such as piercing their ears, wearing high heels, wearing girdles and getting Brazilian waxes.

Now...is there anything needlessly physically painful that frum men endure to please their wives? Tattooing doesn't count b/c it's assur, and pumping iron doesn't count because it's not painful if done right and actually benefits them health-wise. Dieting doesn't count b/c it's not physically painful, and when a man does it, it's usually far from needless.

Anyone?

Tick...tick...tick...

amother ↓

Tue, Nov 17 2009, 3:00 pm

Not giving in to their urges when they crop up at inopportune times- majorly painful physically, probably like wearing too high too tight heels
I can't really think of anything else physical........

PinkFridge

Tue, Nov 17 2009, 3:17 pm

amother wrote:

Not giving in to their urges when they crop up at inopportune times- majorly painful physically, probably like wearing too high too tight heels
I can't really think of anything else physical........

Makes sense. Men go for the externals, so women will do something external. Women are impressed by what's inside, so the sacrifice that counts will be internal.

GetReal

Tue, Nov 17 2009, 3:35 pm

amother wrote:

Not giving in to their urges when they crop up at inopportune times- majorly painful physically, probably like wearing too high too tight heels
I can't really think of anything else physical........

is that something men do to please their wives?

Hodu Lashem

Tue, Nov 17 2009, 3:55 pm

louche wrote:

OK, ladies, we all know what sort of needlessly painful things women endure to please their husbands, such as piercing their ears, wearing high heels, wearing girdles and getting Brazilian waxes.

I argue with your original premise. Women do the above to please their husbands? I say this is a false statement.

I got my ears pierced at age 13, wore high heels because I liked how they looked before I met my husband (and now that I am married I go for the comfort and lower heels), got waxed out of laziness, so I wouldn't have to shave. (Never a Brazilian eeeeeeeewwww! And I would say most men don't even know what a Brazilian is! I didn't until I joined Imamother!)

Even in the tznius threads many women asserted that they dress the way they do for themselves or "other women". So why DO women put themselves through painful procedures or the discomfort of certain fashions?

bandcm

Tue, Nov 17 2009, 6:56 pm

But why do you think women do painful things for their husbands?
My husband thinks I'm crazy that I go every month to a lady who rips out hairs on my body by the roots, and I actually pay her to do it!
Him - Why do you have to do that?
Me - Because otherwise I will have hairy legs
Him - So? I have hairy legs
Me - Well it looks awful on a woman. I can't go out like that
Him - Oh, ok. Whatever. If you think its important.

punktfarkert

Tue, Nov 17 2009, 7:09 pm

Yes - in our society - painful grooming practices are more standard for women than men. However - what about dressing in certain ways? Spending? Errands?

Men - are stereotypically - the "shleppers." So if a couple has to walk down the street carrying heavy boxes or bags, traditional men are supposed to be "macho" and assume most, if not all, of the burden.

We all know how heavy shopping bags cut into our fingers and cut off our circulation!

Now let's argue over syntax:

louche wrote:

Now...is there anything needlessly physically painful that frum men endure to please their wives?

You might say that carrying groceries is not "needlessly physically painful." However, what I'm arguing - is that instead of husband and wife - two able-bodied adults each carrying a manageable number of bags - it is acceptable in our society for the "macho" DH to carry them all - which is needless physical pain.

↑ amother ↓

Tue, Nov 17 2009, 8:16 pm

B"H wrote:

and no, I do not agree that men hold in their urges to please their wives! they do it (hopefully) because it's a commandment from G-d!!!

I didn't mean they control their urges when their not allowed to have relations- I'm talking about the husband who suffers silently because his pregnant wife fell asleep before he came out of the bathroom again, or agrees to give a massage instead of s*x because she had rough day......those kinds of things majorly please the wife!

↑ B"H

Tue, Nov 17 2009, 9:17 pm

amother wrote:

ok that makes more sense, but I think that's horrible Sad

but that's not for this forum...

Tue, Nov 17 2009, 9:28 pm

bandcm wrote:

you have me Rolling Laughter

over this one

MommyLuv

Tue, Nov 17 2009, 9:37 pm

B"H wrote:

amother wrote:

ok that makes more sense, but I think that's horrible Sad

but that's not for this forum...

what's horrible? a woman deciding not to have relations even if her husband wants?
Oops, I thought we were discussing marriage, not prostitution.

marina ↓

Tue, Nov 17 2009, 10:59 pm

Quote:

Not giving in to their urges when they crop up at inopportune times- majorly painful physically, probably like wearing too high too tight heels

There is NO physical pain involved from abstaining at any time. This is a total myth.

↑ amother ↓

Wed, Nov 18 2009, 12:12 am

marina wrote:

Quote:

Not giving in to their urges when they crop up at inopportune times- majorly painful physically, probably like wearing too high too tight heels

There is NO physical pain involved from abstaining at any time. This is a total myth.

Get your husband all worked up, ready to go, then walk away. See what happens. Pain is the best word for it, because the best and quickest release is to "spill his seed" and he can't.............

frumamn

Wed, Nov 18 2009, 12:16 am

B"H wrote:

amother wrote:

ok that makes more sense, but I think that's horrible Sad

but that's not for this forum...

Either you've been blessed with never-waning energy and an always positive attitiude about every day and every situation in that day, or you let your husband have his way with you even if you are not up to it, which I think is worse than begging off every once in a while.