Would you get your daughter's hair done proffessionally for

amother ↓

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 3:42 am

for your sibiling's engagement party/vort?

hila

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 3:46 am

No
but I am MO(sort of) and in Israel.
So our lechaim was just close family and the sister of the kalla did not get her hair done either.

For the wedding the sisters got their hair done professionally.

Get a couple of pretty clips and do it yourself ?

shabbatiscoming ↓

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 3:55 am

nope.

but im also Smile

MO and in israel.

Marion

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 4:20 am

Nope. I'm not even sure I would have my daughter's hair professionally done for her bat mitzvah. Well, maybe. But why?

shalhevet ↓

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 4:25 am

Nope. I am chareidi in Israel. They didn't have it professionally done for their bat mitzva parties either. I think this is a ridiculous, expensive craze. I don't intend to for their brothers' bar mitzvas either.

For a sibling's wedding? Probably.

maidale ↓

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 4:40 am

That would depend on the age of the girl. For a last minute engagement party, definitely not, but if it's been scheduled for a week already, I might let my 16+ yr old daughter get it blow dried.
That said, my oldest daughter is only 6, so I don't know how I'll feel in 10 yrs. time.

freidasima ↓

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 4:45 am

Gevalt. I'm not even getting my sheitl done professionally for ds wedding! Just washing it and curling it at home a bit...
The two younger (unmarried) girls want to get their hair done, but they saved up and haven't had it cut in six months or more so its actually a cut and blowdry which they would have had anyhow twice a year.

Certainly not for a vort unless they were in the parasha and there was a chance of nice boys from the other side, if you know what I mean.

RichWithNachas ↓

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 4:51 am

many people do. There are some young girls just starting who do it for very reasonable.

↑ amother ↓

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 4:51 am

OP here.

It's for an engagement party, which is scheduled a week plus from now.
and it's for little girls.

↑ RichWithNachas ↓

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 4:53 am

My chlidren had it done for their sisters engagement, but again we found a young girl who is talented and did it for a minimum fee.

↑ maidale ↓

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 4:56 am

Little girls I'm assuming you mean 8 and under.
Definitely no. It's absolutely unnecessary and they don't even need it yet. Freshly washed with a cute pin or something, and they look gorgeous. For an older girl (over 16) I would've [/I]MAYBE[I] let.

Raisin ↓

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 5:27 am

if I could find soemone cheap, but I wouldn't spend lots of money on it.

↑ amother

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 5:33 am

OP here.

She charges about $10 per kid.

↑ RichWithNachas

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 5:53 am

Thaat's a good price. Around here, it can be $40

ss321

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 6:16 am

I dont have girls. But for $10, I would do it. We did that for weddings etc growing up-living in Brooklyn there wasnt a shortage of "cheap" places to get blow-dries, straightenings, or up-dos, for 20 dollars or less. If you have 5 little girls - then perhaps $50 for a vort is a bit much - but 2 kids or something - why not?

Tamiri ↓

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 6:19 am

Rabbis are requesting that engagement parties, vorts or whatever you want to call them should go the way of the dinosaur.
I wonder why.

chanchy123 ↓

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 6:26 am

amother wrote:

for your sibiling's engagement party/vort?

Not in a milion years not even for a wedding or bar mizva, this would never cross my mind B"H.
Maybe for their siblings weddings, but I really have a long time for that (oldest is 3 1/2)

It's just that there is so much talk about the impossible standards set for smachot. Standards that most people cannot possibly live up to. So much money is waisted on these smachot - really for narishkeit. I people have money I think they should put it to good use not to flaunt it and raise the bar for the rest of society.

This is nothing personal, and has nothing to do with how much money you acutally end up spending. It's about teaching your children what's important in life. It's about deciding which value is worth spending on and which is less. Not only that, your daughters are little girls, they should dress like little girls - not like little brideletts.

I thank Hashem that my society is open enought that anyone can make their own standards and do their thing without worrying (too much) that they are not living up to the rules. Yes, even my society has standards (perhaps too high at that) for smachot, but they are not as rigid.
I'm thinking about all those people struggling to pay for extravagent smachot and societies where money that is much needed is spended on things that mean so little. Peole go into debt to marry off children, people shnor money from others so they can make extravagent smachot and financea young couple that should be able to do so on their own, if they were not so obligated to social standards. (Only think what a pennyless couple could do with all the money spent on the wedding). People are judged less worthy for a shiduch because their side cannot live up to the community standard for smachot.

I have nothing against you OP, personally. It's just that it makes so sad to hear how high the bar has been lifted and to think of all those hopelessly trying to reach yet another rung, when even the basic standard is impossible for them.

Edited - because I was to harsh and now I had time to rephrase and really get my idea through.

Last edited by chanchy123 on Wed, Dec 17 2008, 6:53 am; edited 2 times in total

drumjj ↓

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 6:32 am

nope even for my brothers wedding I did my kids hair myself. def not for an engagement as long as they look nice they dont need a whole massive hair thing also its hard to get them to sit there for ages to have it done, it takes time and is an extra hassle for no reason

ChossidMom ↓

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 6:50 am

No. But for the wedding - yes. Around here, sadly, it has become THE NORM (Charedim in Israel). Years ago I swore I'd never do it. Now look at my 11 year old at her brother's barmitza:

Sorry the pix are being resized and ruined here.

↑ shalhevet

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 6:57 am

chanchy123 wrote:

amother wrote:

for your sibiling's engagement party/vort?