for those who don't have babies any more...

miriamnechama ↓

Sun, Oct 05 2008, 8:24 am

sometimes I feel like I have to prepare my house for baby and todler proof and my youngest is 51/2 but my sil and her 2 baies may come succos.

last year my sil took down all the puzzlesd and my then 1 year old niece made a rael mess of them, my sil didn't bother to clean or sort them up her excuse she's too tired she's 7 months pg and left me the dirty work, meanwhile I was sick with a bad stomach virus.

I wantto combat it this year as her new excuse will be I'm too tired I need to nurse teh baby or whatever.. now she has 2 kids a 2 year old and a 10month old.

I don't want a repeat of last year and I don't want things spoiled or ruined, I told ds1 and he wants me to do this, I told him that I'm locking away his sefarim, all books, expensive toys puzzles and games and his wood wark and leaving open just some baby lego and stuffed bears.

I'm not sure jow impressed my sil will be as she's also lubab and very makpid not to give her kids unkosher animal toys.... ( I didn't take that on myself) on the other hand I don't need or want her kids ripping up books messing up puzzles looking parts from expensive games etc.

what do you think??

shalhevet

Sun, Oct 05 2008, 8:32 am

miriamnechama wrote:

Only take out as much as you are prepared to clear up. And your boys can help too, no? Make it a game - let's all clear up really quickly, even the 2 year old will join in.

Quote:

I don't want a repeat of last year and I don't want things spoiled or ruined, I told ds1 and he wants me to do this, I told him that I'm locking away his sefarim, all books, expensive toys puzzles and games and his wood wark and leaving open just some baby lego and stuffed bears.

That sounds fine - it's your decision, but what will your own children play with?

Quote:

I'm not sure jow impressed my sil will be as she's also lubab and very makpid not to give her kids unkosher animal toys.... ( I didn't take that on myself) on the other hand I don't need or want her kids ripping up books messing up puzzles looking parts from expensive games etc.

If you've ever seen my comments on threads discussing this you will know we totally don't hold this is a problem. But I think it is very inconsiderate/ even nasty to deliberately bring out toys you know she doesn't allow. How would you feel if you were visiting and your hosts brought out toys for your boys they knew you disapproved of?

Raisin ↓

Sun, Oct 05 2008, 8:39 am

I think you have to look on it as part of having guests. we had a few guest over rh with kids, and yes, they did make a mess, and osmetimes the parents of the messy kids tidied up, sometimes they didn't.

You don't resent spending time washing up their dirty plates - so tidying up a few toys shouldn't be too much of a big deal.

I think having most toys out of reach is a good idea anyway. you can just take out one or two puzzles at a time.

10 months old don't need that much - my 10 month old has only one idea when it comes to toys - will it go nicely in her mouth or not.

↑ miriamnechama ↓

Sun, Oct 05 2008, 8:44 am

shal maybe one of the but I have other stuffed stuff like torah so..

also my boys know when they are there they can't have expensive things out...

the proble is my sil doesn't really care.. amnd why should my boys clean up my nieces mess.. it's gonna be busy enough I really don't want extra work.

btw this is what I do when I have kids coming... I've had enough caes where the whole room was turned upside down and it took me days of work.. I don't have extra time and koach.

now I'm thinking this should really be in guest or fam section....

↑ miriamnechama ↓

Sun, Oct 05 2008, 8:48 am

raisin, 1 when I have guests I use dipsoables only.. so I don't have dishes.

2, here she doesn't clean up, I've had this throughout theyear since she moved to beitar and I'm geting quite fed up.

another thing is her husband is off to NY for succos..s he may decide thatshe dosn't like sleeping at home and sleep by me for a wee or 2 . besides even when I had 2 puzzles last year out all she did was made a mess of them. so what's the point??

↑ Raisin ↓

Sun, Oct 05 2008, 9:05 am

miriamnechama wrote:

that's what I have too...

btw I thought I'd mention tha tds1 also feels threatened when tehre are small babies around.

ds2 said something yesterday which made ds1 say straight oiut no I don't want any new babies....

I think that is normal when kids are not used to babies. I wouldn't worry, or let it stop you having more kids.

mumoo

Sun, Oct 05 2008, 10:00 am

For sure put away anything ds wants protected. He should know you hear his valid issue. Then to be a good hostess try to amass a collection of baby toys- friends' extras, do you have thrift stores? Also ds outgrown toys, did you keep any?

If its only a bin of baby stuff, clean up shouldn't be too horrible.

As for how sil can be a good guest....

↑ miriamnechama ↓

Sun, Oct 05 2008, 10:18 am

mumoo wrote:

yes I'll start a new thread in guests or familly.....

↑ Raisin ↓

Sun, Oct 05 2008, 1:25 pm

miriamnechama wrote:

mumoo wrote:

yes I'll start a new thread in guests or familly.....

I'm a little uncomfortable with the lashen hara here. maybe post anonymously? that is exactly what the feature is there for.

SingALong

Sun, Oct 05 2008, 2:25 pm

just soem aadvice, what I think I would do...put all age appropriate toys for them in 1-2 bins, and then when you want to clean, you can make a game of it by yelling BOOM every time oyu pur something in and the kids might just copy you and dump all the toys in. whenever I have guests over, I take out 2-3 bins of toys that I have no problem cleaning up and keep all the tiny things high up or else its a nightmare.

↑ miriamnechama

Sun, Oct 05 2008, 3:02 pm

Raisin wrote:

miriamnechama wrote:

mumoo wrote:

yes I'll start a new thread in guests or familly.....

I'm a little uncomfortable with the lashen hara here. maybe post anonymously? that is exactly what the feature is there for.

I don't like amother feature so much. so I only use it sparingly.

also my sil doesn't have internet and doesn't know about imamother and also doesn't know my username or password so can't read my threads.

all I asked was how to deal with this situation.... perhaps I put it in teh wrong forum by mistake....

↑ Raisin

Sun, Oct 05 2008, 3:15 pm

miriamnechama wrote:

Raisin wrote:

miriamnechama wrote:

mumoo wrote:

yes I'll start a new thread in guests or familly.....

I'm a little uncomfortable with the lashen hara here. maybe post anonymously? that is exactly what the feature is there for.

I don't like amother feature so much. so I only use it sparingly.

also my sil doesn't have internet and doesn't know about Imamother and also doesn't know my username or password so can't read my threads.

all I asked was how to deal with this situation.... perhaps I put it in teh wrong forum by mistake....

its not the wrong forum, but lashen hara is never a good idea. Even if she doesn't know about it its still lashen hara. And posts stay on here forever, so who knows if she won't read this in the future?

you may not like amother feature...I don't particulaourly like reading lashen hara about people. If someone knows you irl, they may very well know your sil.

amother ↓

Sun, Oct 05 2008, 3:33 pm

Just from the other perspective, I spent y't with my young kids at a non childproofed house. It was not relaxing at all, I spent much of the time cleaning up... If you want to have such young kids over it is a great chesed to put things away and do minimal childproofing in one room at least so there doesn't have to be constant cleanup. Of course it's your house and your choice, but I will be much more careful where I go in the future.

↑ amother

Sun, Oct 05 2008, 3:41 pm

I might be a terrible dil, but whenever we go to my il's I don't yell at my toddler to stop touching every minute. She knows we're coming and she knows they like to touch, but she still leaves all the breakable things on the coffee table. We don't go that often that she can't put it away those few times.