Help- stuck in vicious cycle 😣

cookiewriter ↓

Thu, Dec 19 2024, 10:02 pm

I’m stuck on this horrible schedule and I feel like I’m trapped in a frantic hamster wheel of life and I can’t take it anymore. Bh have 6 kids ages 2-19 so life is busy. Every day I wake up EXHAUTSED on like 5-6 hours of sleep. Feeling hungover. And puffy. I can’t get out of bed. I press snooze a million times. Ignore kids. Then frantically yell at them to get dressed while I myself am not even dressed. I shove them out the door with maybe an instant hot cocoa. Or cereal in a bag. Often I feel dirty gross and unshowered bec I skipped it the night before. And completely not hungry because of late night eating.
Clean up messy kitchen try to Daven maybe I look horrible messy get the baby to Morah
Run around appointments errands
Promising myself I’ll take a nap but it never happens
Drink a huge coffee at 3 to get thru the rest of the day.
Frantically making dinner at 4 ish
Everyone piling thru the door
Instantly kitchen is upside down again plates garbage homework groceries knapsacks everywhere. As if I never had a housekeeper let alone one who just left!
Collapse around 8 when I get my baby in bed. Fall asleep till 9:30 pm. Get up
Clean up kitchen and end up noshing away on garbage and other people’s leftovers
End up sitting at computer taking care of bills lists paperwork emails what’s apps shidduch calls work stuff menus
End up going upstairs like 1 am
Exhausted and full of garbage food
Too tired to brush teeth wash face shower
And…
REPEAT!
I feel like I’m going to have a heart attack from the stress.
I hate cooking and menu planning.
I’m overwheight and feel like a total loser and failure.
My husband feels EXTREMELY neglected
I definitely blame what’s app for causing tons of distractions throughout my day.
But I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m always behind. Never ahead. I’m always winging it. And juggling.
I don’t think this is normal.
Weirdly I am kind of an organized person. Every closet in my house is perfection. I have plenty of help. I have a million friends (too many) and people think I do chesed all day but really I’m just delegating and arranging on my phone.
But this can’t be what life is all about. This insane hamster wheel and then one day you die.
This feels dysfunctional to me.
PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!

(Oh also obviously I never get around to drinking enough water or exercising)

risgla

Thu, Dec 19 2024, 10:18 pm

Same stage of life here. 6 kids,ages 4-18. It's a busy stage of life. And has been busy for the past 18years. I feel this way alot. And make a conscious effort to get off the hamster week sometimes. I also feel that life's alot!
You didn't mention anything about working, do you work outside the house?
If you don't, I would really try to utilize the time that the kids are out for self care ( sleeping, eating well ,exercising, doing something u like...) and stick with errands only once a week or so. Sounds like u do alot of chessed which is great, but maybe you need to give yourself some chessed ( kindness) too and take care yourself so that you don't have to feel like your on a hamster wheel.

I work about 25 hours a week out of the house and often feel very overwhelmed from juggling it all. My one day off I treat as sacred time for myself.. ...
If you are lucky not to work.... Please please, you can make a calmer life for yourself!

Plonis

Thu, Dec 19 2024, 10:22 pm

Oy, I'm tired for you!

The first and most obvious question is, what are the errands you are doing during the day? Can they be minimized or eliminated? And can you prioritize a nap?

Menu planning for overwhelmed mommies is by picking a theme for the day and then cooking within that theme.
For example:
Sunday - Eggs (scrambled eggs, omelets, or quiche)
Monday - Shabbos leftovers or soup (vegetable, butternut squash, or barley)
Tuesday - Meat (meatballs, sloppy joes, or burgers)
Wednesday - Chicken (bone-in or shnitzel)
Thursday - Dairy (lasagna, baked ziti, or pizza)

I find that if I write it up and hang it on the wall of the kitchen I get much fewer complaints about what dinner is, than if I just answer what's for dinner.

There are a lot of other shortcuts you can start implementing, but the nap and a healthy dinner should be a priority!

imaima

Thu, Dec 19 2024, 10:42 pm

cookiewriter wrote:

What do your Sundays look like?

↑ cookiewriter ↓

Yesterday at 5:25 am

Hi all. I am the OP

I have a very part time job bh and very flexible. just a few hours a week
Teens could be helpful when I ask.
And I ask plenty.
DH comes home very late like 8:30 pm and I don’t like to ask him for much.
Sundays bh are nice and calm. One carpool for a Sunday program that’s it. But house is flying because everyone’s home and no help.

But what I really need help with is- discipline. How do I make myself go to bed earlier wake up earlier fit everything into the 24 hours a day that there are??????