How to make Shabbos meal more exciting for teen (small fam)

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children

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amother

OP ↓

Sun, Oct 27 2024, 10:58 am

I currently have one teen and one toddler living at home. I find it overwhelming to host so I don’t do it too often. My daughter is welcome to have friends for shabbos but rarely does (she doesn’t have a ton of good friends either, separate issue). She has friends in the neighborhood to hang out with on Shabbos afternoon, but I know she would appreciate more lively meals. We talk to her, she gets lots of attention, but I’m wondering if anyone in a similar situation has any ideas, short of always having company or going away? It was a huge difference when her older sibling was home but he is away in yeshiva likely for the next few years. I feel bad for her, wish I had it more together and felt up to hosting often because I know she’d love that.

amother

Burlywood

Sun, Oct 27 2024, 11:05 am

Sing. You might all have to force yourselves to get into it at first, but if you start rapping on the table and getting through all the zemiros it's great fun. It will only work if you all get into it though.

My kids always enjoy challenging parsha riddles. Obviously, the it's more fun with more participants, but if it becomes part of your regular Shabbos meal it can still be fun to see who gets the answer first.

Is she involved in the meal prep? She may enjoy choosing a new recipe every week - perhaps connected to the parsha and then discussing it when served or getting you and her father to guess how it's connected.

amother

NeonYellow

Sun, Oct 27 2024, 11:07 am

The key is to develop rituals together that you both enjoy. Whether it's reading from a book - as a zechus, one that sparks conversation, or even a joke book. Songs you sing. Things like that.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Oct 27 2024, 11:09 am

I love these ideas. Any recommendations for a book on the parsha that we can read from? Would need to be something short and easy to capture her interest.

DrMom

Sun, Oct 27 2024, 11:16 am

I think you should push her a bit and ask her to bring a friend over for a Shabbat meal. I'm assuming (correct me if I am wring) it shouldn't be a big burden for you to host 1 measly extra teenager, and it will be good for your DD socially.

amother

↑ OP

Sun, Oct 27 2024, 11:19 am

DrMom wrote:

Yes of course I’m happy to host friends any time! When my son would invite friends over I never said no even if it was a lot for me. For their friends I make it very clear that they are always welcome. I always tell her to invite but she doesn’t very often.

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