Phone addiction and sleep- solutions?

amother

OP ↓

Sun, Oct 20 2024, 11:21 am

I’m addicted to my phone. Mostly it’s the news and sometimes WhatsApp. I don’t have social media. I realized that the whole three day yt I was present with my family, calm, and slept a good 8 hours with no issue. Motzai shabbos I was on my phone for three hours. I was in bed for 6 hours and I was up twice. Today I’m cleaning my house and ignoring the kids while listening to podcasts. I’ve been on it 4 hours and it’s only 11:15. (Woke up at 5 with the kids). I am exhausted and don’t want to go on a trip with the family. I want to stay home and “rest,” I.e veg on my phone and maybe watch a movie. Maybe it’s making up for being off my phone for three days. I am not getting rid of my phone or switching to a flip phone. My main concern is sleep right now. I must right out a way to have the strength to make boundaries with my phone during the night. It’s not as simple as saying “I will keep my phone downstairs at night.” It’s a security object. It’s a lifeline to escape pain. It’s a connection to a world outside of stress. It’s an object that I receive love from friends and family on. It’s a place I check on my cousins fighting in the Israeli army and my siblings and parents in the war. Has anyone made sucessful boundaries with themselves slowly and gently?

amother

Apple ↓

Sun, Oct 20 2024, 12:26 pm

Op, I was you last year. The guttmann sisters ran a group for frum women to help them with this. They DID end up recommending putting the phone at a different location at one point but only once they worked with us for a while to help regulate and help us be more in control. They are extremely understanding and practical. I urge you to reach out if they will be doing this again. They are inspiring and really get the struggle both emotionally and spiritually. They are on Instagram, what’s app and everywhere else. Definitely connect with them.

tichellady

Sun, Oct 20 2024, 12:37 pm

I do have a hard time during the day but I don’t have a hard time at bedtime. I just decide by what time I am putting my phone away and I leave it in my bathroom and don’t look at it until it’s time to get up. I really value my sleep so maybe that’s why it’s not hard for me? Can you try setting an alarm by which the phone is off at night

amother

↑ OP

Sun, Oct 20 2024, 1:05 pm

amother Apple wrote:

This sounds great. I blocked myself from social media a couple years ago when it became too addictive so I can’t access them there. How can I see them on WhatsApp? Do I need a phone number? Thx

amother

Gladiolus

Sun, Oct 20 2024, 1:10 pm

Before I had a smartphone, I was addicted to books for many years. I use both the phone and also still books as an escape and relax mechanism. It doesn't disturb my sleep but it does make me mentally absent at home, meaning I'm less present to interact with my children or to do household chores. At work, I have to be mentally present nearly all the time, but at home I zonk out too often and too long.
Dh is the same. We'll both spend our free hours glued to our screens or books. Not good, but hard to overcome. If I got rid of the phone, I'd just go back to reading more books, mostly without any educational value.

Genius

Sun, Oct 20 2024, 1:53 pm

amother Gladiolus wrote:

I’m actually trying to get rid of my boundaryless internet surfing (addiction is a strong word…) by switching over to books. I find books to be the lesser of the two evils when compared to the YouTube shorts abyss. At least there’s a back cover.

amother

Steel

Sun, Oct 20 2024, 2:18 pm

I have the exact same thing but with social media too, and it's definitely anxiety related. It helps me to just scroll and scroll until 2 am when I fall asleep. When I don't I just have anxious bad thoughts so am not the most motivated to stop but I know I really have to Sad

amother

↑ Apple

Sun, Oct 20 2024, 4:41 pm

amother OP wrote:

This sounds great. I blocked myself from social media a couple years ago when it became too addictive so I can’t access them there. How can I see them on WhatsApp? Do I need a phone number? Thx

You can contact them through status. 646-535-8363. They did the group through zoom/phone.