Boundaries mechaneches

s1 ↓

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 6:52 pm

My school rules:
No girl should have any teachers mobile number or contact her out of school
No teachers to have girls mobile numbers or contact them out of school
Girls and staff may not meet outside of school
All doors in school have a window in

amother

Impatiens

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 7:09 pm

[quote="Growing"]If its the teacher asking than sorry she should take a different job

No. Teachers are human and don't only have a right to ask questions, but are encouraged to. It takes a growth oriented mindset and humility to ask.

Boundaries are not black and white. There are many moving parts that make a situation unique that need to be considered.

amother

Gladiolus ↓

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 7:18 pm

s1 wrote:

My school does not have these rules.
My students all have my number and are free to call me before a test to ask questions, or for other things they need. My student's parents have my number as well.
And I have many of their numbers and will call them if I need to discuss something extra-circular or related.

In my opinion, boundaries for a high school teacher are simple. You are not invested in your relationships with your students, you do not need them or their attention. You are not their friend. You are there to help when needed, not to make yourself a hero, but for the student.
When you have this attitude, I believe boundaries naturally follow.

amother

Nasturtium

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 7:23 pm

s1 wrote:

I disagree with these. I called teachers a bunch of times while in high school, and after, for advice. They were real mentors to me. Why shouldn’t I have their numbers? And then, obviously, they had mine. It was 100% appropriate relationships and they are still amazing mentors for me.

amother

Poppy

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 7:37 pm

On the one hand it’s so nice when students have relationships with their teachers. Especially the normal ones:)

On the other hand it opens the door for exploitation ranging from slight emotional manipulation to mind control to s-xual abuse by a teacher that’s secretly an abuser. And this does sometimes happen unfortunately and when it does it’s usually not obvious and many people especially other hanhala end up believing the teacher and not the victim.

Hence those above boundaries are rigid but maybe necessary?

amother

↑ Gladiolus ↓

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 7:47 pm

amother Poppy wrote:

But between you, me, and the lamppost- those teachers will ignore any boundaries regardless because they are unhealthy people.
My impression from the OPs question was- what boundaries should teachers put in place between them and their students. I could be wrong though...

cutewife

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 7:56 pm

There are teachers that are sketchy but then there are always the good normal teachers that are genuinely there for you and if it's a healthy girl that just wants some guidance I see nothing wrong with having a teachers cell number so that they can communicate. It's part of growing up.in terms of teachers that aren't healthy-well those shouldn't have the powers that they're given

↑ s1

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 2:24 am

Please note the girls finish school at 16 here (UK). For older girls the guidelines may be different. Also there could be extenuating circumstances, eg if a girl is going through a particularly hard time then maybe she'd have one mechaneches she's in contact with out of school time, but it would rarely be face to face and is certainly not the norm. And parents contact staff via the school.
Yes it's mainly to do with safeguarding.

#Happymom

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 2:39 am

s1 wrote:

Another UK teacher here, we've got the same rules. We also can't give students lifts. It's all got to do with safeguarding and not being in a situation where it's just the teacher and student alone.

However we do have a lot of open communication between the parents and teachers.

amother

↑ Gladiolus

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 8:09 am

The different cultural standards are so fascinating to me!
There have been dozens of occasions that I've been asked by the school (and there have been more than 1) to take girls places (I.e. if I am in school for a paid period but am not teaching due to play or other extra-curricular activities)
They'd rather a responsible adult drive them (who has some concept of time) than have them drive themselves.
Obviously I can say no and sometimes do, but it's a completely accepted thing where I am from.