How would a gentle parent respond?

amother

Tue, Oct 01 2024, 10:46 am

My 13 yo son goes nuts when he is disregulated.
It happens maybe once every 5-8 weeks. If he's stressed hungry or overtired he will start throwing things, calling names, and screaming on top of his lungs. The screaming is the worst for me. He has ruined family vacations and outings.

I have spoken to him about it at calm times with a lot of empathy. I have asked him to write an apology letter to his brother for waking him up. He did it. I have signed him up for therapy. It should start in November. I've spoken to his doctor who doesn't think it is physical. He's a great kid normally. But when he isn't...

We haven't had an episode since July. Then this morning was a bad one. He was screaming that it isn't his fault because he's not in control. I did tell him at one point that if he throws or slams another thing, he will face a consequence - is that not gentle parenting? He stopped. but then slammed the door as he left ten minutes later.

How would you react?

Molly Weasley

Tue, Oct 01 2024, 11:31 am

"He was screaming that it isn't his fault because he's not in control."

If he is aware of his actions and behavior, he cannot reasonably claim that he lacks control.

You did wonderfully.