Making new friends as an introvert

amother

OP ↓

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 7:57 am

I am really here for chizuk. I really want to be more apart of the community I just moved into (in EY). There’s a few things I have a hard time with-

A) being in a social scene where I don’t have a best friend/ really good friend to go with and stay with to interact with others…

B) a lot of the woman already have their groups

C) not exactly hashkafically aligned (which is totally fine), makes it hard for me to hold a conversation sometimes

D) I grew up with a modern background (we are now yeshivish) and just the conversation is so different from the frum community. This is just my opinion- but going to an all girls school growing up probably gives you the space to learn how to talk about things correctly/ talk more because there’s not as much social scene pressure with boys etc. basically you have the space to be a girl. I feel like I’m lacking that part because I just don’t know how to shmooze. I have a very good friend group bh, but meeting new people just doesn’t click with me. There’s nothing to just “talk” about.

Anyone in the same boat? Any chizuk to work on myself? Baby steps?

I have a few friends in the community… I just want to expand myself and be nice to everyone and get to know everyone!!

Chayalle

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 9:42 am

I moved a few years ago, and advice my sister gave me was - if you want to make friends, you have to show up. Go to shul on Shabbos. If there's a kiddush, force yourself to go say Mazal Tov and shmooze with people. Go to a Shabbos Shiur, community events, etc...
It takes time to get to know people.

amother

↑ OP

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 2:41 pm

Yes I hear that. It’s not the simplest though since I’m not in the heart of the area, like I really live on the other side of the neighborhood. But I do agree with you that that would make a big difference