Food on rosh hashana

amother

OP ↓

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 6:32 am

I am having a discussion with a friend about investing a lot of time/effort on extra festive food on Rosh haShana and it’s consumption.

She heard an opinion that some people davka try not to upgrade too much on Rosh ha shana to keep it on a more spiritual level, but she cannot connect to this idea.
We are both BTs and have no mesorah in this area.
So I have only read about this opinion on imamother, that some people have it as a mesora, while she thinks that it’s only BTs who add too many chumras who follow it and you are supposed to make the seuda like any other yom tov.

What is the tradition in your family and can you specify whether it’s your family thing and then what’s your derech, or is it something that you took upon yourself because it makes sense?
Also, if yea, does it mean you eat less, or have no guests, or make a shorter meal?

amother

Bronze

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 7:48 am

We do have meat but not as much as shelosh regalim. Meals are slightly simpler.

On pesach, shavous and succos we serve enough meat that every male should have a minimum of a kezayis. The men also have a reviyas wine every meal/day. It is because it says men have simcha from meat and wine. (We also save any new clothing for succos)

On rosh hashana I try to serve a little meat so there should be something lekovod rosh hashana but it doesn’t have to be as much as the other yomim tovim.

newmother

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 8:22 am

Many seforim write about how interesting it is that even though it is the day of judgement, we go home to a festive meal. The common explanation is that we are confident in a good judgement because we know Hashem loves us while a typical person waiting on a judgement doesn't have that confidence because the judge is a basar vdam (a regular human being)
The assumption is that we are eating a beautiful yom tov meal!

Elfrida ↓

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 9:04 am

Especially this year, with a three day Yom Tov, I'm planning on lighter meals. Second day lunch will probably be milchic. (The coffee drinkers appreciate this!)

After getting up very early (we daven vatikin) followed by a long morning in shul, we're hungry buy not in the mood for heavy food.

First night we build the meal around the simanim, and by default a lot of that is served second night, as well. I do try to give each meal an individual identity, but there are always dishes that show up more than once.

PinkFridge ↓

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 9:47 am

amother OP wrote:

RH day especially isn't so optimal for guests. You have to be on the same schedule.
You're the producer of your family's yom tov meals and are staging the backdrop for this yom tov. Imagine yourself bensching licht that first night. Pensive, awestruck, but grateful, for all your brachos and what you managed to pull off. What does that yom tov look like? Does it have your favorite foods? Do you have the simanim organized? Do you davka make foods with the simanim?

What seems baseline bekavodik for you? What are the memories you want to create?

BTW, some of us bH do have an unbroken chain but not such strong minhagim. Like, we're pretty liberal about foods we avoid on RH. I don't davka incorporate the simanim into dishes. We don't have every siman in ArtScroll.

Know that there is room for you do you. I hope that this thread gives you wonderful ideas and directions. Kesivah v'chasimah tovah!

ETA: Yeah, three days of meals. Don't pull out all the stop at every meal. Some people I know will davka do a light on the meat meal for one of those days, e.g. fleishig appetizer but main course showcasing fish.

↑ Elfrida ↓

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 9:54 am

Guests work in the evening on Rosh HaShana, because all the shuls finish more or less the same time. Second night can be harder, because you can't start heating anything up or clearing up from first day until after candle lighting.

During the day it's only really practical to invite someone who davens at the same shul. There is such a range of times that shuls start and finish, and no one wants to be waiting an hour or more - or to cause their hosts to have to wait that long.

keym

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 10:04 am

We do nice meals but not as fancy as sukkos and Pesach.
Our davening during the day goes very late, we don't start our seudos until 2:30/3.
I serve meat. Nicer than a regular Shabbos, but somewhat toned down and we try to keep the joyful yet awesome ambience.
More divrei Torah and zemiros
Cutting down on the random chitchat and gossip.
We don't serve wine on RH and during other YT, we hold that the men drink a reviis of wine.

amother

Watermelon

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 11:06 am

Parents need to eat well, sleep well. 2 day YT coming up plus Shabbos. Parents need energy for your children. you are teaching the next generation.
First 2 nights you can do as many Simanim you want.
Go to salad, and dips. Get the main dish with a side.
Our 2 main day meals are Fish. 1 day Salmon and 1day lox. with Vegies.
Night meal are 1 day meatballs with vegie. 1 day Liver and rice. vegies
Shabbat chicken baked, and daytime salami. with slaw.
Do what is good for your family.
Remember, Kiddush, cake, lots of challah. Honey.
Keep it simple. Keep it light.
No need to go into Tzom Gedalia not feeling well.

↑ Elfrida ↓

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 11:33 am

Maybe thos is the wrong thread for this, but I've just posted two comments above, based on years of previous experience, without ever giving a thought to what is going to make this Rosh HaShana unique.

We are still at war! There are still far too many hostages trapped in the tunnels. By Rosh HaShana it will be almost a full year! Last year we cooked for Yom Tov, we bought our new clothes, we went to shul, davened, heard the shofar, did teshuva, came home, and ate our meals and relaxed, all without any idea of the Din that was awaiting us.

The English date, October 7th, comes out during the Aseret Yemei Teshuva. Bein Keseh l'Asor, when our fate for the year is hanging in the balance. The Hebrew date, Shmini Atzeret, when the Din for the nations has been sealed. How can we use this Rosh HaShana to overcome the terrible Din that was imposed on us last year?

(I'm not saying don't make nice meals. But I feel there needs to be something extra to Rosh HaShana this year.

amother

Blush

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 11:40 am

Elfrida wrote:

You’re 💯 right.

However, the way I always learned it is that RH is about being mamlich hashem. We are crowning Him as our king. The focus of the day is not about judgement. Rosh hashana is a yom tov. Yom kippur is yom hadin and that’s when we are fasting, davening all day etc.

amother

RosePink

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 11:44 am

Elfrida wrote:

Rabbi Reuven Leuchter of EY (https://meihadaas.com/en/) is addressing your point about how to have an effective RH in his Thursday night Elul vaad.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 11:52 am

Elfrida wrote:

Thanks for bringing this up, this is important! I guess we all need to make decision how we incorporate these thoughts into our chag

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 11:54 am

amother Blush wrote:

Can you post your derech please?