Seeking personal chizuk

amother

OP ↓

Mon, Sep 09 2024, 3:37 pm

This topic has been brought up many diff times, but I'm seeking more personal chizuk/advice.

I personally find using my galaxy phone definitely helpful with juggling all kinds of stuff/challenges in my family, marriage, kids....(I have very little support, if any- marriage wise), juggling appnts, emails, to do lists, Google maps helps with places to go, and access to files that I need....etc.
But I found it very pulling and taking me away from my responsibilities. So I deleted whatever I was able to, mainly using strictly for necessity.
But still ...

I have tried switching over to a fig flip, where it easier to use, and found myself more present. That's good. However, it's quite hard for me not to have access to other files, in my situation- where I'm the one making most- if not all decisions in my household.

Anyone out there in a similar situation who can offer chizzuk/ advice?
Pls only offer input if you can relate, thank you

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Sep 09 2024, 7:13 pm

amother Oak wrote:

I hear you. I remember Mary Abadi talking on the Nekadesh program about apps like email, a camera with video, and Waze and I thought, hm, I have a kosher phone that does this and more. Useful but distracting?

True
And there's no perfection in an imperfect world.

But nevertheless I wonder if anyone can relate to this struggle of wanting to do better, but not sure if I can, particularly in this area.

amother

Tan ↓

Mon, Sep 09 2024, 8:55 pm

I can totally relate and to add to it my corporate job requires me to have several apps as well so I can't fully switch to flip even if I wanted to.

I recently made a change that's been a huge benefit to my life and my family and if there's any practical piece you can take from it and make your own then I'll share my new set up. I decided to get a flip phone with just call and text and have all my calls forward from the main smartphone to the flip and got a stronger filter. When I am out and about with the kids or even out of my room hanging with them on the couch I just have the flip. That way if someone needs to reach me they do, but I am not glued to it like I really was with my smartphone on me all the time. I feel like I am able to be more mindful and embrace the moment. That said, I still have my filtered smartphone to handle work, email, medical appointments and all the shopping apps but I do it now either when kids are at school or asleep and not while I'm spending time with them. It's a challenge and I'm still getting used to it but I feel lighter BH. My husband noticed I am much more patient with the kids which was something I struggle with. If you can gain any ideas from this go ahead and if it doesn't fit your situation leave it.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Sep 09 2024, 9:33 pm

amother Tan wrote:

Thank you so much for this!

So to understand better, when you say you forward your calls, does that mean you have 2 lines? (Phone numbers?)

amother

↑ Tan ↓

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 10:47 am

amother OP wrote:

Thank you so much for this!

So to understand better, when you say you forward your calls, does that mean you have 2 lines? (Phone numbers?)

Yes. My smartphone is the number in the phonebook so I felt like I couldn't switch it. The smart phone sends all calls to the flip phone

amother

↑ Tan ↓

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 1:06 pm

amother OP wrote:

So you pay 2 lines, and carry around 2 phones when needed?

Out of the house I only carry around flip phone bc I work at home. I do pay two lines but the flip phone from tag is literally $60 a year and for me that was worth it for the upgrade in sanity.

amother

Winterberry

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 1:31 pm

amother Tan wrote:

Good idea!
Just wondering how you come on here… only when your kids are out? With a desktop? Your smartphone?
Are your kids young?
I’m trying to figure out how it could work for me…. My kids never go to sleep/ teens

amother

↑ Tan

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 8:40 pm

On my smartphone when not around kids. Mine are little so they do go to sleep.

With big kids I wonder if you can just set a limit. Like I am going to use the phone from 9-9:45 every evening to check email, appointments, and order groceries. Then even if kids are up, they know you are using it for a limited short time and limited purpose. And it's consistent.

amother

Watermelon

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 9:25 pm

amother OP wrote:

True
And there's no perfection in an imperfect world.

But nevertheless I wonder if anyone can relate to this struggle of wanting to do better, but not sure if I can, particularly in this area.

I’m totally with you and understand you completely. No solution here but I know what you mean. For someone who is very organized and uses the organization features on a smart phone it is very very hard to let go. I go over this dilemma in my head daily!
I live in a frum , main stream, bal habatish community and many people in my circles have smart phones. I imagine that if I lived in Lakewood in a yeshivish circle it would be much easier for me to switch … peer pressure works wonder. But that’s not where I am and I don’t want to live there. I wish it was easier.