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Forum
-> Parenting our children
amother
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Wed, Sep 04 2024, 7:47 pm
My husband and I have such different parenting styles and I don’t know how to go about it. Frustrates me so much when I see him yelling or even smacking my kids. Yes I am more on the softer side and I probably do spoil my kids and all but I do not believe smacking or yelling is the solution. And yes I forsure lose my cool too sometimes but it happens so often when my husband watches them.. it creates a really bad environment and I often do things myself because I don’t want him to get frustrated with the kids. How do I go about this
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amother
Ginger
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Wed, Sep 04 2024, 7:49 pm
Sounds like you both can use parenting classes
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amother
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Wed, Sep 04 2024, 7:49 pm
I know I would love to.. don’t know if my husband would want to go
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amother
Zinnia
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Wed, Sep 04 2024, 9:11 pm
I could have written this post. I am in a very similar situation. My husband is European and had a very rigid upbringing. This is what he believes is effective parenting and is not interested in reading chinuch books or secular books on child development and parenting. It is very frustrating to me that we are on such different pages. I once asked him to consider marriage counseling to help us bridge the divide but he is opposed and believes therapy is for weak people. He is a wonderful and supportive husband but this area creates a lot of friction and I have come to accept that we will just have very different approaches. I daven that my children will have a positive relationship with him as they mature. I don't know what else to do.
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amother
Crystal
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Wed, Sep 04 2024, 9:17 pm
You need to find common ground. Sit down together maybe with an impartial 3rd party and find your commonality. You need to find and come to the realization amongst yourselves that you both want the best for your kids, to parent them to adulthood successfully, so they can have the best life ahead of them.
Once you both realize that- when you realize you both want the same thing, when one approaches parenting differently, instead of jumping in to fix things, the other can take a deep breath and say to themselves we both want the same thing, we both want the same result. We're just going about it differently but we're both working toward the same outcome. We're OK.
You'll see how this brings you together and actually you'll both come more to the middle, become more unified without realizing.
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