Would you speak to 1st grade rebbe about this?

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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

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amother

OP ↓

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 9:38 am

Ds6 has been having an issue the past couple of months where he needs to go to the bathroom (number 1) and holds it in until the last second and many times doesn’t even make it. We’ve been trying to help him, took him to doctors, urologist etc but it appears to be purely behavioral. His urologist and doctor said that he should be going scheduled times and we should tell his teacher. I’m just not sure how a rebbe would react… I would want him to know that if ds asks to go to the bathroom he should let him go right away because he’s probably at the point of desperation and they don’t always answer or allow them to go right away. Any advice how to deal with this?

dena613

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 9:40 am

Absolutely tell.
A rebbi will make a special allowance for a kid like this to leave whenever he needs.
Rebbi would prefer that over accidents and not knowing!!

amother

Winterberry

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 9:44 am

Just give him the background and let him know exactly how many times ds should be going during his class. For example, right after davening and right after recess. Whatever you think is necessary. Definitely you must let him know.

amother

Zinnia ↓

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 9:48 am

I have this with my son. I have a contest going with him, every day that he goes by each recess and lunch he gets a point/prize etc whatever works. It has been working together with reminders

amother

↑ Zinnia

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 9:49 am

I will add that I spoke to the rebbe also about letting him go when he needs and the rebbe was very understanding and said sure he can go whenever he needs but my son is shy to, which is why I push going by recess

giftedmom

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 9:50 am

Pretty sure at this age they go scheduled times anyway

notshanarishona

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 10:06 am

Yes I would speak to the rebbe. At that age, accidents aren’t socially acceptable anymore and you don’t him being embarrassed in front of his friends. I wouldn’t expect first friends teacher to remind a kid to go to the bathroom but definitely to have scheduled bathroom breaks and allow whenever needed

amother

Hydrangea

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 10:10 am

I would start by asking if they have scheduled bathroom breaks & how often. If your son needs more often then tell the rebbi.

amother

↑ OP

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 10:14 am

I doubt they have scheduled breaks because even last year he didn’t.

amother

Forestgreen

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 1:21 pm

Of course you need to tell the rebbe.

salt

Thu, Sep 05 2024, 1:28 am

amother OP wrote:

I doubt they have scheduled breaks because even last year he didn’t.

Just the regular recess breaks should be enough. As long as he is encouraged to go at recess, he shouldn't get to the stage of being desperate.
I would go with the poster's suggestion to offer him prizes if he goes at recess.

Of course, if he needs more than that, and can't hold it in, the rebbe should be told to let him go.

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