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Forum
-> Pregnancy & Childbirth
-> Baby Names
amother
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Sun, Aug 18 2024, 3:08 pm
My husband and I have been deliberating names for our newborn daughter all day and keep going between two options for a middle name. I thought you are supposed to get ruach hakodesh?? Is this supposed to be this hard to decide?
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amother
Tangerine
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Sun, Aug 18 2024, 3:09 pm
It’s there you just can’t feel it. Whatever you choose will be the right name.
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amother
Junglegreen
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Sun, Aug 18 2024, 3:10 pm
They say you get ruach hakodesh, but usually it's seen afterwards. Meaning, many parents have to deliberate to some degree. You're normal. The main thing is that both parents should like the name, and if you name after someone, it should be a good person.
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amother
Bisque
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Sun, Aug 18 2024, 3:33 pm
When my newborn son was born it was very clear to us what his should be
All the other names we had in mind felt wrong for him. Even the second name we had chosen felt wrong we ended up only naming 1 name
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amother
Feverfew
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Sun, Aug 18 2024, 3:40 pm
I guess it’s obvious to Hashem that dh and I are not aware enough to sense ruach hakodesh so He had to make it more obvious to us. FIL died when I was pregnant with my oldest and dh’ grandmother died right before I had my second kid. It must not be bashert for me to name a child after my side of the family.
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CPenzias
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Sun, Aug 18 2024, 4:18 pm
Naming my son was so difficult! It's a hard decision. You'll be ok
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amother
Diamond
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Sun, Aug 18 2024, 4:54 pm
I had ruach hakodesh that im going to get pregnant that cycle, gender, and name. everything was 100% accurate
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salt
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Tue, Aug 20 2024, 1:55 am
amother OP wrote: | My husband and I have been deliberating names for our newborn daughter all day and keep going between two options for a middle name. I thought you are supposed to get ruach hakodesh?? Is this supposed to be this hard to decide? |
Ruach hakodesh does not mean a bat-kol will come down and tell you the name.
It just means that you will get the feeling for the right name in the end - it may take you a while to come to a decision, but don't worry, you'll get there in the end, and it will be the right decision. It can still be hard to decide. Don't worry. Haztlacha raba.
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a2z
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Tue, Aug 20 2024, 2:47 am
I wanted a specific name but dh wanted a nickname and we didn't like any of the options for this name and he didn't love it by itself so we added a second name that I don't love by itself and any of the nicknames and we are calling her by both names.
Her full name is perfect.
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imaima
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Tue, Aug 20 2024, 2:55 am
In my family ruach hakodesh means I say the name and dh agrees or disagrees
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a2z
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Tue, Aug 20 2024, 2:58 am
imaima wrote: | In my family ruach hakodesh means I say the name and dh agrees or disagrees |
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amother
Cognac
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Tue, Aug 20 2024, 5:25 am
I wouldn’t say I had real reach hakodesh but with one child we bh had no one to name after which in a way made it harder. I remember waking up from a nap in the hospital just having the name in my mind and I knew it was it
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amother
Quince
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Tue, Aug 20 2024, 5:56 am
With some of my kids it was very clear.
With one of my kids not only did both me and DH think of the same name, but one of his siblings called (before knowing I had just had a baby) and their first response when hearing the gender was to suggest the name that me and DH had both just mentioned.
With another, DH called his mother after the naming to tell her, and she guessed both names, and in the right order, before he told her.
With my oldest me and DH agreed on the middle name but not on the first (I prevailed).
But with my second-to-youngest I had no earthly clue what to name them, and told DH to just decide and let me know. (The name is perfect.)
They are all Ruach Hakodesh! But you only realize that after the fact when you see how their name really suits them.
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amother
Azure
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Tue, Aug 20 2024, 6:36 am
With all my kids I knew their names in pregnancy. With one my kids dh vetoed half the name, and it still bothers me to this day, because I feel like dc only got half of their name.
The mother’s feeling is extremely important when it comes to naming.
Try listening to your inner voice.
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amother
Geranium
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Wed, Sep 04 2024, 2:50 pm
I never really felt this and always had the babies name in mind before birth. When this baby was born the names I had thought of didn’t fit and we went with a totally different name we had never thought of.
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mushkamothers
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Wed, Sep 04 2024, 2:54 pm
I felt it to some degree with each child, I have stories for each one. (Even the one who got the "obvious" name of his great grandfather- he's a spitting image of him in face and personality.)
My last baby, we were down to 2 names that were equally random (of chabad rebbeim) and had no preference for either. I told dh I'll hear it when you announce it. I literally had no clue which he would choose. At the bris they announced the name and I felt my whole body kind of respond- with a sort of relief like it was saying YES.
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amother
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Wed, Sep 04 2024, 3:02 pm
Update: we named her after much deliberation, for the first couple of days it didn’t feel right 😬 we talked about it and apparently my husband DID have a flash of some name in the delivery room but didn’t tell me and when he said the name when we were discussing I said no. He won’t tell me now what the name was that he thought but I’m choosing to take it as hashgacha that he didn’t say and that her name is correct because that’s the name we ultimately chose. As more time passes we feel more and more that the name is her.
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Ruchel
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Wed, Sep 04 2024, 3:12 pm
I had a list for years and so did he
We combined our family names
Making sure we loved the first name obviously
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amother
Phlox
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Wed, Sep 04 2024, 3:15 pm
amother OP wrote: | Update: we named her after much deliberation, for the first couple of days it didn’t feel right 😬 we talked about it and apparently my husband DID have a flash of some name in the delivery room but didn’t tell me and when he said the name when we were discussing I said no. He won’t tell me now what the name was that he thought but I’m choosing to take it as hashgacha that he didn’t say and that her name is correct because that’s the name we ultimately chose. As more time passes we feel more and more that the name is her. |
The name you chose is the right name. The other name might represent an aspect of her, like the other names of Moshe, but the name you chose is the perfect name for her.
Mazel tov!
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amother
Springgreen
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Wed, Sep 04 2024, 3:36 pm
Mazel tov!
Thank you for the update!
Interesting thought about you not end up using the name your husband thought about in the delivery room.
My husband dreams of naming our baby ( first, we don't know yet boy or girl)
After a certain person, I really and truly do not like the name, but I an add-on name just popped into my head that might go with the original. We will probably end up talking to a Rav about it ( if its a boy) as I don't know what to do.
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