Inattentive adhd and Camp- Girl

amother

OP ↓

Thu, Aug 01 2024, 2:32 pm

My daughter is going to camp next year and I want to focus on skills this year that will help her be successful.
Hygiene routine
Cleaning her room
Table manners and social norms (don’t take half the bunk’s portion because you like French fries and ate with your eyes)
Any ideas of what else I am overlooking?
Anyone has tips and tricks?

amother

Violet

Thu, Aug 01 2024, 3:40 pm

As someone who had ADHD (inattentive) as a kid and LOVED camp, I have a few thoughts.

First of all, it's great that you want to set her up for success! I'd be careful about how you approach it, though. My mother was always trying to teach me "things I'd need to know" and it was hard for me to hear them. It didn't feel like we were on the same team. It felt like she was trying to force me to do things the "normal" way, not because I wanted to, but because she wanted to.

Can you approach her and ask HER to brainstorm together with you about what she thinks would be helpful to work on before camp starts? Or maybe even take a step back and brainstorm about what she thinks will be hard to get used to in camp? Things like sharing a room with so many other people, eating foods that she's not used to, etc. Then ask her if you can work together to try to build the skills that will make those adjustments easier, and let her prioritize them. Unless you have a very receptive daughter, that might be a slow but more effective way to do things.

Other things that were hard/helpful for me as a kid in camp...

Brushing my hair every day without my mother reminding me/doing it for me when I ran out of time. When I came home from camp one year, everything under the top layer was one big knot.

My mother sent me with a small nightstand-thing with drawers in it. It was so helpful.

A waterproof watch so I didn't have to take it off when swimming (and lose it, or forget and break it and then have an even harder time being on time).

Oops, gotta go now but I'll try to think of more for later...

amother

Whitesmoke

Thu, Aug 01 2024, 3:50 pm

My daughter has inattentive ADD and has been hygienic and put-together all these years...I wonder why. In fact, when she came home from camp for the first time, she became somewhat neater about her bedroom, and I think living in a small space in camp taught her to be neater. But on her own person she always was clean (maybe it was a struggle when she was a toddler).

However, she does leave half her stuff behind....for the 2nd year in a row, she came home with one Native (I'm not buying her new ones this time. She has floafers, thanks to the $12 a pair sale last summer, and that's it. I'm done.) Last year she left behind one of her pillowcases (why it wasn't on the pillow, I don't know.) Plus a load of toiletries she didn't bother bringing home because "I could get her new ones". Maybe you need to prepare yourself for this. Or her. I tried to talk to her about bringing home her possessions, and she claims she clearly remembers focusing on putting both Natives into her luggage. Oh well. At least this year she brought home her linen.

She's also a major drama queen if something bothers her - like she wasn't feeling well, and she banged on the nurses bungalow and woke her up, and it seems the camp nurse was very annoyed with her and felt she could have waited. I'm not sure who's right there. Should I be preparing her to stick out a splitting headache?

I try to teach her good middos and social skills but I can't control her. She is who she is. She has her quirks, and she goes to camp with everyone else and is herself. And hopefully learns a few things.

So I would say, teach her what you can but don't stress too much. There are all types in this world, and they all get to be included....

amother

↑ OP ↓

Fri, Aug 02 2024, 12:07 am

amother Violet wrote:

Such a good point. I do try to get her to brainstorm (mostly because I need her buy-in). I want to know what to bring up to her, she doesn’t know anything about camp.
Thanks for the practical too.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Fri, Aug 02 2024, 12:08 am

amother Midnight wrote:

Routines for post swim, bed time etc so she doesn't lose her towel, leave her pj's around etc. My son lost everything in camp. Left his white shirt in the shul where he kept it for davening, his baseball glove at the field, his bathing suit wherever it was hanging, you get the drift. So routines for what to expect.

Good idea. Wondering if there are rules of thumb.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Fri, Aug 02 2024, 12:08 am

amother Mintcream wrote:

How are you reaching these skills? Mine is begging to go next summer and I just don’t begin to know how to teach these skills. We have been working on them with little success.

Don’t know. I figure getting a good night routine going is a start. And eventually include setting up an outfit for the next day…

amother

↑ OP ↓

Fri, Aug 02 2024, 12:10 am

amother Whitesmoke wrote:

You make such a good point. I’ll keep it in mind not to try to “change” her.
Quirks are ok, I don’t want her to be the one everyone is annoyed at or don’t want to sit next to.

sara_s

Fri, Aug 02 2024, 12:15 am

amother Whitesmoke wrote:

However, she does leave half her stuff behind....for the 2nd year in a row, she came home with one Native (I'm not buying her new ones this time. She has floafers, thanks to the $12 a pair sale last summer, and that's it. I'm done.) Last year she left behind one of her pillowcases (why it wasn't on the pillow, I don't know.) Plus a load of toiletries she didn't bother bringing home because "I could get her new ones". Maybe you need to prepare yourself for this. Or her. I tried to talk to her about bringing home her possessions, and she claims she clearly remembers focusing on putting both Natives into her luggage. Oh well. At least this year she brought home her linen.

.

I worked once in a camp and ALL the girls left their toiletries behind. Shower caddys and hairbrushes too. It seemed like a crazy waste to me but it seems like what everyone does. So that's not unusual at all. The staff collects it all in a huge pile from all the bunkhouse.
Maybe that can be a new chinuch thing to try to tell girls to bring toiletries home from camp. There are thousands of dollars of toiletries and sunscreen left in camp each year. Some gets given away but a lot gets thrown out. Maybe send your daughters with a ziploc back to bag it on the way back?

amother

Yarrow ↓

Fri, Aug 02 2024, 12:26 am

My daughter hasn’t been diagnosed yet, but I strongly suspect she has adhd. Her executive functioning skills at home leave much to be desired. Her room is nearly always a mess, she’s often losing things around the house, she is more than capable of preparing breakfast for herself, but if she’s too hungry or grumpy, the process of getting out bowl, spoon, cereal and milk just seem way to overwhelming to her.

She is 8 and she went to an overnight camp for one week. I was quite nervous about how she would cope and manage all her belongings. But BH she did really well.
Your daughter might surprise you and step up.

We packed everything in clearly labeled packing cubes and made sure she knew where everything was.
She was very proud that amongst her friends she could keep her stuff neat and tidy.
It helps that they all had to make their beds in the morning, and the counselors were on top of things, making sure they showered every night.
having a clear spot for her toiletries, that was easy to use was very important.

She did lose a few socks, but after seeing the lost and found piles after camp, socks are really not a big deal.

Things like being aware of others at mealtimes is something that you could subtly discuss at home all the time.
But it’s also something that kids learn from experience in camp and by living with others.

amother

Taupe

Fri, Aug 02 2024, 12:31 am

amother Whitesmoke wrote:

She's also a major drama queen if something bothers her - like she wasn't feeling well, and she banged on the nurses bungalow and woke her up, and it seems the camp nurse was very annoyed with her and felt she could have waited. I'm not sure who's right there. Should I be preparing her to stick out a splitting headache?

I don't know who was right here but when I have a splitting headace it doesn't go away without medication. Also as a teen if I didn't take something the second I got my period I would not be able to get on top of the pain for a few days. Possibly she felt wronged by the fact that camp asks for all medication to be turned in but then won't be available when its needed.
I personally always kept a few pills of pain medication in my camera case so it wouldn't be caught during health department inspections.