Am I allowed to sell something that someone gave to me?

mummiedearest

Wed, Jul 03 2024, 10:34 pm

Yes, you can. If you own it, you can sell it.

I used to run a gemach. If someone really wanted to take the time to sort through donations to sell online for a few dollars, I assume that they need the money. And if you got it, used it, and then sold it, it’s definitely served its purpose. There’s no obligation to resonate what you own.

salt

Thu, Jul 04 2024, 4:05 am

amother OP wrote:

My rav said halachically it's no problem. Is it ethical? Also if I take something from a gemach would you sell it?

Usual definition of a gemach is that you have to return the item, or replace it, depending on what it is.

If you received it to keep, why is it different from a gift?
I don't see why you can't sell it.

I can see something a bit off in making a business out of taking items from gemachs and selling them on. I would ask the gemach, "can I do whatever I want with this item when I'm done with it - what is the gemach policy?"

chanatron1000

Thu, Jul 04 2024, 4:09 am

Sometimes people genuinely give a gift, and it's yours to do what you want with, but they give it with the understanding that it's for a certain purpose, so while you're allowed to do what you want with it, it's nicer to keep in mind what the gift giver would want.

Golde

Thu, Jul 04 2024, 4:19 am

I think if you receive hand me downs or other stuff for free a given to you as a chessed, it's bad taste to sell it. Better to pay it forward and pass it on for free so others in the same situation as yourself can benefit as well.

If you receive a gift or a prize you don't need, feel free to sell it.

B'Syata D'Shmya

Thu, Jul 04 2024, 5:11 am

amother OP wrote:

My rav said halachically it's no problem. Is it ethical? Also if I take something from a gemach would you sell it?

If halachically you are told it's OK, what's the problem?
U think halacha and ethics can't coexist?
Halacha is ethical.

BTW you didn't take from a Gmach, you were given. If you aren't obligated to return it then it belongs to you. You may sell it.
Bhatzlacha

Golde

Thu, Jul 04 2024, 10:46 am

B'Syata D'Shmya wrote:

If halachically you are told it's OK, what's the problem?
U think halacha and ethics can't coexist?
Halacha is ethical.

Obviously Halacha is ethical, but there are lots of things that are halachically permissible that good manners still would dictate you not to do. For instance you could be invited to a birthday party and according to Halacha there's no problem to show up empty-handed. However the etiquette is to bring a birthday present. OP posted her question under "Manners & Etiquette" so we can assume that's what she's wondering about. She just made sure to say she knows that there's no halachic problem.

amother

Slateblue

Thu, Jul 04 2024, 10:51 am

Of course you can sell an item you receive as a gift unless for some reason it is an heirloom or of emotional significance. I think most people give gifts they think the gift will like or needs and wouid be happy to know that the gift funded something more functional or they liked.

How is this different than returning a gift and exchanging for something else?

I think selling from a gemach is different because theoretically the items are free or inexpensive because they are intended to provide less expensive alternatives for those in need. Also in this category would be donations to a charity. When I donate items, my expectation is they will be sold cheaply to those in need OR sold for as much as possible in order to fund other stuff.

salt

Thu, Jul 04 2024, 1:14 pm

amother Slateblue wrote:

You can sell an heirloom or an item of emotional significance too, as long as it doesn't belong equally to multiple people in the family - if the money is worth more than the emotional attachment to the item itself, then you can sell it.
I personally don't get particularly attached to items I've been passed on. A relative gave me an antique item that she received from her grandmother - I have it in my house now because I like it, and I like the idea of having something belonging to my ancestors, but if I had no space, needed the money, or just didn't fancy it anymore, I would sell it.

singleagain

Thu, Jul 04 2024, 1:15 pm

salt wrote:

I have heard that many people will attempt to sell the heirloom to family members before the general public.

B'Syata D'Shmya

Thu, Jul 04 2024, 1:27 pm

Golde wrote:

So you may be confusing social norms or what you called etiquette, for ethics. Your excellent example is a social norm, - bringing gifts to a birthday party.
Etiquette can even be unethical! Or anti-Halacha.
For example if Reuven borrowed money from Shimon, inviting him to a party could be considered Ribbis. ( as I understood it, - unless Reuven and Shimon are on such good terms that NOT inviting him would cause unpleasantness - either they are related or good neighbors etc)

Just because OP posted under Manners and Etiquette, doesnt change her question (re read it..) she asks about ethics not etiquette.

Ethics is the difference between right and wrong. Etiquette is appropriate social behavior. Its nice when they overlap.

Regarding OP, what would be wrong in selling something she owns, even if she obtained it via tzedaka/chessed? If it helps her, then the tzedaka and chessed purpose was served.

Amarante

Thu, Jul 04 2024, 1:30 pm

salt wrote:

It depends on your definition of heirloom.

I inherited a lot of stuff from my Bubbe and my mother and I couldn’t keep it all so I gave away items that were emotionally significant to members of extended family and essentially gave away the rest to charity although much was sold in the estate sales.

Heirlooms to me are things that have been passed down in the family which have emotional importance like the silver Kiddish cups brought from the Old Country.

Not everything that is an heirloom is necessarily valuable either. I have a battered copper pot from my Great Great Grandmother and I also treasure knit sweaters and embroidered tablecloths my Bubbe made. None of them can be worn or used but I keep them as well as the quilts and embroidery my mother made over the years. I do have a large Tree of Life she did in crewel that hangs in my bedroom and gives me a lot of peace when I look at it because I remember her making it as one of my earliest memories.

Bnei Berak 10

Thu, Jul 04 2024, 1:37 pm

chanatron1000 wrote:

On this one I respectfully disagree.
Gifts given are always supposed to be what the recipient wants/would like. If I get something I don't have use for or don't like I will pass it on to someone who likes it more than me.
Keeping items that I don't like but the gift giver still wants me to have it? Sorry, I'm not on board.

salt

Thu, Jul 04 2024, 1:45 pm

Amarante wrote:

You can sell all your examples, unless you made some vow that you never would.
Why can't you?
You can see your silver kiddush cup that your great-great-grandfather used.
You can sell a tattered tablecloth from your grandmother if anyone's prepared to pay you for it.

B'Syata D'Shmya

Thu, Jul 04 2024, 1:54 pm

singleagain wrote:

I have heard that many people will attempt to sell the heirloom to family members before the general public.

I would imagine they would get a better price from a relative for whom the item has more value. Its also a nice way of keeping it in the family.

Amarante

Thu, Jul 04 2024, 2:14 pm

salt wrote:

Of course I can sell them because I own them.

My point is that certain things have a sentimental value that enriches my life and doesn’t detract from it.

At a certain point, my home was overloaded with items that I had inherited and I wasn’t ready to release them because I was mistaking the physical object with the person. But I got rid of loads of stuff over the years or in a great purge when I packed everything up and made decisions for everything I owned.

The tablecloths and sweaters or other items are not tattered. They are packed away and don’t clutter my life. Perhaps at some point someone in the family will find value in them even though I don’t need them in my current life.

The only items on display please me aesthetically and don’t create clutter but give me pleasure.

But why should I get rid of them just because I can’t use them. Someone else might love having cut lace work linen tablecloths and it would require emotional energy to deal with which I prefer to use for other things in my life.

Maybe they will be creative or artistic and find a way to use them in something that gives them joy every day and connects them to their great great great grandmother.