S/O do you really enjoy calls from your grandkids when you

amother

Almond ↓

Thu, Jun 06 2024, 8:01 pm

amother OP wrote:

know they are only calling you because they were forced to by their parents, I.e. your kids? Seems kind of fake nachas to me.

Are you the same OP as the other forced thread? If so, please quit it with your agenda and go get help.

If you're not the same OP, most parents don't force their kids to call their grandparents. It's generally part of the routine/life.

amother

Amaranthus ↓

Thu, Jun 06 2024, 8:06 pm

amother Almond wrote:

She can’t be because I am. Isn’t it amazing that many agree on this?

amother

↑ Almond

Thu, Jun 06 2024, 8:11 pm

amother Amaranthus wrote:

She can’t be because I am. Isn’t it amazing that many agree on this?

No, not many agree on this. Maybe 1 poster agreed with the other thread. But you wouldn't listen to other's opinions and twisted every post so it should fit your agenda.
Hope you get the help you need.

oohlala

Thu, Jun 06 2024, 8:11 pm

I was not forced to call my grandparents when I was a kid. I actually think that’s a shame because I barely had a relationship with any of my grandparents because of that. For my kids, we put them on the phone with the grandparents when they were very young each Friday and that’s the erev shabbos routine. I think this is a good practice because it paves the way for a relationship and then it will become natural to call regularly when they are older.

amother

Lightcyan ↓

Thu, Jun 06 2024, 8:18 pm

amother OP wrote:

know they are only calling you because they were forced to by their parents, I.e. your kids? Seems kind of fake nachas to me.

What on earth kind of question is this?

If kids are only calling because they are forced, maybe it is time to re-examine what you're doing wrong. My kids adore my parents and my ILs and talk to them daily. You know why? Because they show great interest in them, and act lovingly towards them. I never had to force my kids to call.

amother

Maple ↓

Thu, Jun 06 2024, 8:22 pm

I can't say I enjoy them because they're too young to know how to conduct a phone call. They either shout unintelligibly or clamp their mouths shut. Only the oldest child is old enough to talk normally on the phone and she doesn't yet have much of anything to say. Everything I ask about is either "fine" or "nothing" or "IDK." This is not a complaint, just answering the question. I don't think the kids will be capable of a real phone conversation till they're in their teens at the earliest. It's a developmental stage.

That said, I endure these awkward encounters because they're an investment in the future. Not that I think the grandchildren will be calling me much or at all, since even their parents call quite seldom. But I feel that the occasional phone encounter, dismal as it is, establishes a sliver of a connection and reminds the kids that they have grandparents.

amother

↑ Amaranthus

Thu, Jun 06 2024, 8:26 pm

amother Almond wrote:

I hope you get help for your obsession with me.

amother

↑ Maple

Thu, Jun 06 2024, 8:38 pm

amother Lightcyan wrote:

. Judgmental much? Jumping to conclusions much? Not everyone is good on the phone. Some people just don't enjoy talking on the phone no matter how much they love the party at the other end. My uncle has been married to the love of his life for over 50 years, and in all that time he's spoken to her on the phone for an aggregate of maybe two hours. Yes, a total of two hours in over 50 years, I kid you not. So like two or three minutes a year, each phone call taking no more than 30 seconds. He's just not a phone guy and uses the instrument only for brief informative contact such as "what time should I meet you?" It's lucky for them that she was almost literally the girl next door (half a block to be exact) and so they rarely had to use the phone to communicate. Had theirs been a more distant match, their relationship would never have gotten off the ground.

amother

↑ Lightcyan

Thu, Jun 06 2024, 8:43 pm

amother Maple wrote:

Surely you realize the case of your uncle is HIGHLY rare?

And if his ability to have a relationship with his love-of-his-life wife absolutely depended upon him being able to speak with her on the phone in a normal way for at least 5-10 minutes a week, I'm sure he would find a way to push himself outside of his comfort zone.

amother

Orchid

Thu, Jun 06 2024, 10:32 pm

When I was a child, one grandmother would give me hugs and kisses every time she saw me, she invited me to come play a game with her, she sent me home with a small treat or prize, she randomly called me to say hi, she sent me cards in the mail not only on my birthday. She praised everything I did, let me help her in the kitchen.
The other grandmother said hi to me when I came to her house, then directed me to the shelf with books and games, she gave me a gift or money on my birthday, she also corrected me when I said or did anything wrong, reprimanded me for not obeying my parents.
Which grandmother do you think I voluntarily called and which one did I stamp my foot and yell that I won't call?
It's up to the grandmother to make the relationship. If grandma isn't investing, yes, you can train kids to call but it's awkward and unpleasant and doesn't leave anyone with good feelings.

amother

Babyblue

Thu, Jun 06 2024, 11:52 pm

I’m not a grandparent so I can’t say for sure. But I saw the way my mom face lit up when one of my nieces called. It was like she was waiting for her to call. I think she did it a school thing because I’m pretty sure she did it for just that year. It’s a shame though. My parents really would love their grandkids to call even if it’s a little forced.

amother

Smokey

Fri, Jun 07 2024, 1:32 am

I hope they enjoy my kids calls. I never force. My kids love to call and know my in-laws number by heart. They talk, read books, and do crafts together (my daughter tells my mother-in-law what to draw) over the phone.

My son in yeshiva calls once a week and when he can't call I get a call from my in-laws to check up on him.

He calls my parents every week too and they seem to relish the calls (or at least that's what it sounds like when I speak to them). My parents are on a different time zone than us, so it's harder for my other kids to call.