Are you pretending or really enjoying?

amother

Tue, May 28 2024, 2:03 pm

Is there something you are always pretending to enjoy/ food that you claim you like but really don’t?

If so, why do you pretend?

For me, it’s alcohol.
Social pressure at a party, wedding etc..
I’m talking about the rose type as well LOL

But I really don’t care for the taste or anything about it..

Also matching my kids..
I love the finished product but absolutely couldn’t care for the process leading up to that

amother

Amaryllis

Tue, May 28 2024, 2:05 pm

amother OP wrote:

But I really don’t care for the taste or anything about it..

Also matching my kids..
I love the finished product but absolutely couldn’t care for the process leading up to that

I pretend to love my job. I hate it but noone likes a kvetch Wink

amother

Lightpink

Tue, May 28 2024, 2:17 pm

I pretend I love to spend Sundays at the beach for dh. He loves to going with me

amother

Lightpink

Tue, May 28 2024, 2:18 pm

Dh sometimes shops clothing for me and I wear it and pretend that I like it Rolling Eyes

Comptroller

Tue, May 28 2024, 2:20 pm

I understand going along with what your husband or family likes, even though it is not your favorite occupation, like going to an amusement park with children, which is amusing for children but rather boring for adults. But I don't understand giving in to social pressure, as in drinking alcohol or listening to music you don't like or taking up a hobby you hate.

So no, I don't pretend.

amother

Pearl

Tue, May 28 2024, 4:01 pm

Weddings, bar mitzvahs, shul dinners, and most other parties except for very small at-home gatherings where I know and like all or almost all of the people.

Some people's sense of humor. Looking at pictures of and listening to stories about other people's vacations and grandchildren.

Why pretend? It's called having good manners. And I expect them to return the favor, laugh at my lame jokes and pretend to enjoy looking at my pictures and listening to my vacation-and-grandchildren stories.

ShishKabob

Tue, May 28 2024, 4:06 pm

amother Anemone wrote:

Davening. Nuf said.

Very normal. It takes time to build up a connection and to even want to daven. Its not natural by everyone. Why don't you just try talking in your own words? That's considered davening..

amother

Clematis

Tue, May 28 2024, 4:08 pm

The shabbos seuda. It’s either the men singing
The kids getting attention or yeshivish hock. It’s painful. I’m just a useless appendage and I’m too polite to bentch and go to sleep

amother

Winterberry

Tue, May 28 2024, 4:09 pm

I never pretend anything. I only do what I enjoy. And I make changes that fit my life better.

zaq

Tue, May 28 2024, 4:10 pm

amother Anemone wrote:

Davening. Nuf said.

Are we supposed to "enjoy" davening? I've never thought of it that way and never heard anyone express such an emotion. I've heard people say it's calming, or it satisfies a need, or affords some sort of relief, but never heard anyone say "I enjoy davening. It's fun and makes me happy."

How do you express your (faked) enjoyment of davening?

amother

Buttercup

Tue, May 28 2024, 4:11 pm

amother Clematis wrote:

The shabbos seuda. It’s either the men singing
The kids getting attention or yeshivish hock. It’s painful. I’m just a useless appendage and I’m too polite to bentch and go to sleep

Except I cook and serve so I'm not all useless.

Since no one mentioned it yet... Intimacy. Sometimes I pretend to enjoy when I'd rather do anything else, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.

amother

Starflower

Tue, May 28 2024, 4:11 pm

I drink alcohol at social gatherings as a coping mechanism.

It's helps me pretend I enjoy being there LOL

amother

Celeste

Tue, May 28 2024, 4:12 pm

amother Clematis wrote:

The shabbos seuda. It’s either the men singing
The kids getting attention or yeshivish hock. It’s painful. I’m just a useless appendage and I’m too polite to bentch and go to sleep

Why don't you contribute? A Dvar Torah? A story? Some inspiration? I always have what to say, it's my Shabbos table too.

ShishKabob

Tue, May 28 2024, 4:13 pm

zaq wrote:

Probably means forcing herself to daven when other people are there so she doesn't look like the odd one out. This is pure speculation though.

amother

Anemone

Tue, May 28 2024, 4:14 pm

zaq wrote:

I pretend to not despise it.
(I only ever daven when I need to be in Shul)

amother

Lightyellow

Tue, May 28 2024, 4:19 pm

Enjoyment doesn’t equal fun. I can enjoy a sunset but that doesn’t make it fun. Same applies to a painting, a shiur, a dictionary, etc.

There is an attitude in some places that you are supposed to have a deep connection to Hashem through davening. And that does not come naturally for many, if not most, people. When I was in high school I used to shokel With emphasis to give the impression that I was extremely into it. I also used to pretend it took me longer to Daven shmone esrei than it did so it wouldn’t look like I was trying to get it over with as quickly as possible

amother

Lightpink

Tue, May 28 2024, 4:29 pm

I know a family that don't pretend ever! They are brutally honest.
They tell me I gained weight
Or that I don't look good.
Or tells me bad things about my parents / siblings
Yes I'm insulted!
SO PLEASE PRETEND PPL! Yes!