School therapist for DD or private?

amother

OP ↓

Thu, May 23 2024, 10:35 am

My DD needs to speak to someone and the school may have a therapist which I assume would not cost us. But some people have said that it's better that she doesn't speak to a school therapist because this compromises on the confidentiality.

What would you suggest based on your experience?

mha3484

Thu, May 23 2024, 10:36 am

If its a school related issue I would use the school based therapist. If the issue is not school related I would go private.

amother

NeonGreen ↓

Thu, May 23 2024, 10:37 am

When there was a conflict of interest the therapist had the school’s back. 100% better to get someone who doesn’t owe the school anything and can fully focus on your daughter’s needs.

amother

Snow

Thu, May 23 2024, 10:38 am

I think it depends on the issue, and on how experienced and professional the school counselor is.

amother

Maroon

Thu, May 23 2024, 10:38 am

mha3484 wrote:

If its a school related issue I would use the school based therapist. If the issue is not school related I would go private.

This. If she has difficulty making friends or gets frustrated easily I would use the school therapist. If it's something intense I would go private.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, May 23 2024, 10:40 am

It's for issues that are causing issues in class and at home. Disrespect, entitlement, disregard for rules etc.

amother

↑ NeonGreen

Thu, May 23 2024, 10:42 am

amother OP wrote:

It's for issues that are causing issues in class and at home. Disrespect, entitlement, disregard for rules etc.

Go private. I also found school therapist don't have experience in real issues. They can help with social skills but not much more.

amother

Poinsettia ↓

Thu, May 23 2024, 10:43 am

I would go private. these issues are issues that the school will have an agenda for. the school's main goal will be to get her to stop being disrespectful... as her parent the main goal should be what is making her act like this, is there something she's missing emotionally, how to help her...

amother

↑ OP

Thu, May 23 2024, 10:44 am

amother Poinsettia wrote:

even if they claim to understand that she's struggling with something?

amother

Thistle

Thu, May 23 2024, 10:47 am

amother Poinsettia wrote:

Yeah....no. School therapists don't have an 'agenda'. As a therapist I would tell you to go private because that gives you all the authority, whereas if you use a school therapist, the authority is split between the parents and the staff at school. They might have just as much of a say in your dd case as you have.

amother

↑ Poinsettia

Thu, May 23 2024, 10:50 am

amother OP wrote:

even if they claim to understand that she's struggling with something?

I guess it comes down to how much you trust the school. my dh won't use any school therapists. I think that might be a bit much but the principal agreed that private is ideal but not all parents will so school based is better then nothing. In our school I wouldnt go near the main school therapist. shes shown poor judgement with my kid and I'm not the only one who has had bad experiences with her. the other therapists are private pay who come to the school for convenience.

amother

Sapphire

Thu, May 23 2024, 11:16 am

I have the same question.
I'm so nervous to use the school therapist now.

safetynet1

Thu, May 23 2024, 12:53 pm

Definitely do private if you can afford it on your timing. Its harder but your daughters issues will stay private. Another noteworthy thing to consider; less experienced therapists are generally in schools.

bestme

Thu, May 23 2024, 4:33 pm

My neighbor is a school therapist she said that even though the school does not pay her, they act like a boss to her. For example they tell her what to tell a student etc. My neighbor gets paid by an agency so she has 2 bosses. 1 the agency that she works for and 2 the school principal. If you could do private then private is better, however a school therapist is better then nothing. It also depends on the school...