When did you tell DD about periods

amother

Tue, Apr 30 2024, 9:42 pm

I just told her over Yom Tov. She is 8 and wanted to know what pads are. I explained in very basic what it is and she really took it in stride. Was completely caught off guard and was not planning on telling her for another few years but BH it came out very positively and she was satisfied.

tulip3

Tue, Apr 30 2024, 10:27 pm

amother OP wrote:

That's awesome that she asked and that you explained. It's really nice when we're open and these topics come up organically instead of an awkward speech/here's a book. Nowadays with puberty starting earlier, 9-10 is the age to tell if you haven't discussed it yet, not 12.

amother

Chestnut

Tue, Apr 30 2024, 10:34 pm

My girls went to sleep away camp the summer after 4th grade. I tell them before they go. I don’t expect them to have yet,(they were all 12) but I want them to hear from me. Simple basic facts, keep it private as not everyone’s mom wants their DD to know yet, not a shameful secret.

I don’t think it is fair to send her away without basic knowledge.

amother

DarkKhaki

Wed, May 01 2024, 2:59 am

I told dd in 4th grade, age 10. It came up naturally as I was pregnant and she had questions, so I wove it in. We hit puberty late in my family, but I want her to hear it from me rather than from other girls, even if it isn't relevant for dd yet. To be clear, we covered puberty, but I left the s-x talk until she was a bit older (5th grade), as I didn't feel she was ready earlier, but I still wanted her to hear it from me rather than from the other girls.

amother

Cornsilk

Wed, May 01 2024, 3:13 am

Regardless of when you choose to talk to her, don't the vast majority of schools give a talk to the girls in upper elementary? It might make things a bit awkward for you personally if you choose to wait a bit, but in reality she's probably heard it in detail from the school nurse or someone brought in to address the girls by age 9 or 10.

amother

Birch

Wed, May 01 2024, 4:04 am

I voted ten for my oldest dd but it turned out it was too early. She is an anxious child and didn’t have to know for another three years! My next one I told at age 12, a year before she got it.

amother

Yellow

Wed, May 01 2024, 9:34 am

I got my period when I was 9.5 and I was completely unprepared and thought something was really wrong with me. It was a traumatic experience for me and I refuse to let my daughters go through with anything similar. I teach them about periods and puberty when they turn 9 and keep the discussion open and encourage questions whenever they come up. Oldest DD got her period at 11.5 and was very matter of fact about it. Next DD is already 9 and we've had the puberty talk. She's developing earlier than older DD so I expect she'll get her period earlier as well and hope she'll react as well.

Kol hakavod to OP for answering her daughter's questions and not brushing them off to discuss when she's older. When we respond with honesty then we encourage our children to come to us with their questions instead of going off on their own to look for answers.

Chayalle

Wed, May 01 2024, 9:39 am

I told my girls by age 10, but if a child asks questions earlier you answer them. Age 10 is for the one that didn't ask.

ETA my family is later bloomers and no concerns they'd get their period before age 10. Otherwise for sure I'd tell earlier.

amother

Papaya

Wed, May 01 2024, 10:05 am

amother Cornsilk wrote:

The schools that I went to and send my children do not say anything (in town bais yaakov and out of town day school).

amother

Cornsilk

Wed, May 01 2024, 10:16 am

amother Papaya wrote:

The schools that I went to and send my children do not say anything (in town bais yaakov and out of town day school).

I'm talking about Bais Yaakov schools, whether in town or oot. Most of them do. Certainty every oot day school that I am familiar with. Those that don't are the exception.

amother

Papaya

Wed, May 01 2024, 10:24 am

amother Cornsilk wrote:

I'm talking about Bais Yaakov schools, whether in town or oot. Most of them do. Certainty every oot day school that I am familiar with. Those that don't are the exception.

I don't think that's the norm in lkwd schools. Maybe Lakewood does it's own thing...either way, I would much rather I have organic discussions with my own daughter then rely on schools and whenever they decide is the right age.

amother

Lilac

Wed, May 01 2024, 10:29 am

I just told my daughter at 9.5. I would’ve waited until ten but I overheard her friend asking if she knew what a period was (and my daughter was clueless) so I got her a couple of books. She’s been very matter of fact about it.

amother

Wed, May 01 2024, 10:35 am

amother Lilac wrote:

Hi, which books did you get her? I realized that I actually forgot to use the word period. The whole conversation was about two minutes.

amother

Mocha

Wed, May 01 2024, 10:42 am

amother DarkKhaki wrote:

I have a similar situation but dd is 8 and so I didn’t go into all the details, just introduced some concepts (body parts, body changes, monthly cycles, etc.) I didn’t specifically tell her about the period. Because of her age and easygoing personality, she didn’t delve too deeply, just accepted my answers and moved on. I’ll make sure to bring it up again with more specifics in a year or two, if it doesn’t come up naturally.

I’m not concerned about her getting her period anytime soon. She’s not showing the slightest signs of hitting puberty yet.

amother

Lilac

Fri, May 10 2024, 10:30 am

These are the two I bought for her. The American girl book is highly recommended and the one role book I remember reading as a kid and finding it informative.

https://a.co/d/j3pxZai

https://a.co/d/ewu9C9G