Getting structure back (?) in the house

ima25

Fri, Nov 16 2007, 9:32 am

I don't know how to write this. I don't want to sound like a victim, but how do I take back the podium in the house. Whatever I try to do to get this place ruuning on a functional level gets sabatoged (SP?) I tell the kids, no computer, they just need to check their email, or tyoe something for school. "No videos!" and my husband says, come her and see this for a minute! The kids are always going to school late and I get the phone call. But he takes them out and he promises they'll be home by... and he promises he'll get them up and moving. I'm the one up with the baby at night and he falls to sleep whever he wants to. I ask him to make sure I get up on time to get the kids going, sometimes I shut off my alarm or it gets mysteriously unset (my wonderful techie toddler) and I wake up and it's 8:00 and DH is already long gone.

I just want someone to come in and get the message across that they really do have listen to me and I am not asking or telling them to do anything outrageous. I just wnat them to put their clothes in the hamper, go to sleep befor eleven at night, get up and get to school on time and brush their teeth, for gosh sakes!

I am looking for boot camp here! I have tried several "parenting experts" and programs. somewhere I am missing the connection.

greenfire

Fri, Nov 16 2007, 9:41 am

first of all ... how old are these kids ... an 11 o'clock bedtime would be late for anybody who needs to function in school the next day ...

charts & incentives ... w/o wimping out ... and while you are at it discipline dh as well so he is with you and not against you ...

gryp

Fri, Nov 16 2007, 11:03 am

How about giving every child a list of things that have to be done every morning and night that they are responsible for. That saves you from nagging and puts the list "in charge," or really puts each one in charge of what they have to do.

When I was little my mother did this- with pictures for us little ones- with everything from bringing our laundry to the washing machine to making our beds, brushing our teeth, doing homework, and even bedtime and waking up time. In order of the day, obviously.
Truth is, the lists didn't even last so long because we got so used to doing what we had to, we didn't need them anymore.

yoyosma

Fri, Nov 16 2007, 11:42 am

You need to speak to your husband and tell him that any structure in the house will not work unless he is 100% on board.
Make a strict schedule and stick to it. Charts help.
I have a very strict schedule with my daughter with regard to wake up, dinner, homework and bedtime. Granted, I only have two children (BH) so my situation is probably different but ever since I made this schedule and STUCK TO IT without any budging (or there was a loss of privileges) there has been an amazing difference for her in school and at home.

Your husband needs to agree with you and help you enforce it. And this is being written without any malice or judgement, but maybe your husband needs a schedule too!!!