Is it normal to spend over $100

amother

Seashell

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 8:03 pm

I would occasionally splurge on my teen dd and let her know that I'm splurging on her to make her feel special. Other times, I'll tell her that I'm willing to spend up to $75 on sneakers for her and if she wants more expensive sneakers, she can pay the difference. Recently, she wanted an alo yoga scrunchie. I told her I would pay $15 for a nice hair accessory for her so if she wants this one, I'll pay $15 and she can pay the rest from her own money.

AlwaysGrateful

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 8:32 pm

amother Seashell wrote:

I didn't read the entire thread, but this is what I would do. I'm willing to pay what I think is a reasonable price for my kids clothes, accessories, etc. I would not spend 100 on a pair of sneakers, especially one that is only going to last a couple of months. What I WOULD do is empathize with my daughter, and tell her that right now we're budgeting a maximum of 75 dollars for sneakers, and that I can understand it's so frustrating because she loves these shoes, and that there's nothing wrong with splurging on yourself every once in a while, but only you can know whether this is one of those times. You're happy to give her 75 dollars towards these shoes if she wants to chip in the rest from her own money.

If she's happy to spend your money but not hers, that says something. If she's happy to spend her money on them, then that's great. She'll still have learned the concept of sticking to a budget when buying necessities, and also the concept that there are times when, if you can, you can buy something that's a bit more of a luxury for youself. But it means thinking carefully about it and making a decision.

And yes, there are times that I'll say that I"m going to spend more than I normally would because I see that this is really important to them. But I wouldn't say that after I already gave them a budget...that seems to be setting myself up for disaster next time I try to get them to stick to a budget.

I've found this works well for my teens.

wiki

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 10:45 pm

Very stylish white Adidas here for $55. https://www.6pm.com/p/adidas-h.....10893

If this doesn't please OP's daughter, maybe it will please someone else's.

I know high schoolers and these shoes are stylish.

Anyway, 6pm.com has over 2,000 sneakers for women under $60. Many of them are brands with good reputations, even if they aren't luxury labels. Lots of them are Vans and I see people wearing Vans these days everywhere.

Like these Vans are the shoes that probably half of all frum teen girls wear 50 percent of the time lately: https://www.6pm.com/p/vans-cla.....85674 They're $45.

emee2

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 11:15 pm

amother OP wrote:

I DID give her a budget. Under $75 but really hoping she will find something for around $50.
It’s only for a few weeks in the summer…
Yes, I can afford it but for years I couldn’t have even considered this type of purchase so I’m very used to being conscious about spending carefully.
Just because I have the money doesn’t make it right to spend on something that doesn’t make sense.
Unless I’M not making sense, which is why I was asking here..
She’s not a confident girl and she’s going to a new camp and I do want her to feel good about herself but it’s still a lot of money for sneakers. I think I’m paying for the name brand printed on the side more than for the actual shoe. That’s what really bothers me.

Are you comfortable saying what camp and what brand shoes?
Honestly if she only wears them for one summer I personally wouldn’t spend that. My daughter goes to Bnos. The past 2 years she wore adidas which are under $60 and she used them for 2 years plus occasionally during the school year. This year her and her best friend both got Nikes for around $75. I think if she had asked for vejas or something I would probably have had her chip in but if I could easily afford it I would probably spend the extra on vejas before I’d spend another hour shlep ping to stores.

Also I generally try to give them a camp budget as opposed to a budget for each item. So for example my daughter needs 4 t shirts for camp and my budget for that is $150 if she opts to get a $75 Lacoste t shirt and then 2 regular t shirts and skip the 4th I’m fine with that. I want her to learn how to budget and the consequences of certain choices.