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Forum
-> Fashion and Beauty
-> Sheitels & Tichels
amother
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Thu, Nov 02 2023, 12:09 pm
Chayalle wrote: | I agree, you are not understanding my post.
Let's say we have a Kallah named Chanie. Chanie's family would generally qualify to receive tzedakah assistance for her wedding. But she is looking at wigs, and the ones that suit her are 3200 apiece. She wants to get two wigs at that price (total 6400). She cannot get the whole TDL package (including linen, dishes, etc...) if she plans to spend more than 3000 per wig. She is automatically disqualified.
If she gets a 2 wigs for 2900 apiece, she can get the whole TDL package, and one of those wigs will also have a percent paid for (I'm not sure if it's 100% or some other percent.)
So if we agree she needs two nice wigs - then getting those 2 wigs can have her forfeit the whole package, if she can't stay within the 3K limit.
And not everyone can - whether due to color, size, or the overall price increase in wigs of late. |
Ok but that is more the exception to the rule. Most women can fit into a regular sized shaitel.
I wouldn't make up a theoretical budget based on an exception.
If the OP said DD is a redhead with a tiny head or a giant head or something like that, fine she needs a higher budget. But no this didn't say that.
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amother
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Thu, Nov 02 2023, 12:15 pm
Even when I was getting married plenty of kallas got 3. (The 3rd was usually a cheap fall.) But honestly, I always thought it was excessive. If I wanted a more casual style, I'd do that for the second wig and when I needed formal I'd wear a Shabbos shaitel.
I don't know this kallah's personal financial situation at all... but I also think if a third shaitel is critical, she can save up and get it later especially because these can be done cheap especially when she knows what she wants. Seems a bit excessive to me to get tzedaka money for a third shaitel.
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amother
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Thu, Nov 02 2023, 12:26 pm
amother Broom wrote: | Ok but that is more the exception to the rule. Most women can fit into a regular sized shaitel.
I wouldn't make up a theoretical budget based on an exception.
If the OP said DD is a redhead with a tiny head or a giant head or something like that, fine she needs a higher budget. But no this didn't say that. |
We don't know who op is talking about or what the goal of her question was, she didn't really clarify unless I missed it. She could be the donor or the recipient.
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amother
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Thu, Nov 02 2023, 12:31 pm
amother Whitewash wrote: | We don't know who op is talking about or what the goal of her question was, she didn't really clarify unless I missed it. She could be the donor or the recipient. |
Yes. Really too vague to answer.
Because it really depends where the money is coming from and what the donor(s) has(ve) in mind.
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amother
Garnet
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Thu, Nov 02 2023, 1:27 pm
My daughter recently got married. Being someone who had traumatic experiences with awful wigs as a kallah I told her she could spend what she thought necessary on wigs. She got one expensive wig straight away, I think it was $3000, or maybe $4000. Then she waited to get a second wig, which she only ended up getting now, a year later, it cost $1300 and then a few hundred more for cutting etc. Meanwhile she borrowed an old wig of mine for vacations/watersports etc.
We don't wear falls since we are chabad.
I can't imagine a kallah would need more than $5000 or $6000. With that she should be able to get 2 very nice ones, a very nice one and a less nice one...really depends on the kallah, her hair color, head size, personality etc. Maybe a little more if she has special requirements. (like bright red curly hair. )
These one size fits all rules are ridiculous. I would be more than happy with a simple wedding with fake flowers and a one peice band but a nice wig is important to me.
Making a kallah happy is a mitzva, this question really depends on the kallah.
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Chayalle
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Thu, Nov 02 2023, 1:40 pm
amother Broom wrote: | Ok but that is more the exception to the rule. Most women can fit into a regular sized shaitel.
I wouldn't make up a theoretical budget based on an exception.
If the OP said DD is a redhead with a tiny head or a giant head or something like that, fine she needs a higher budget. But no this didn't say that. |
I know quite a few exceptions, then. Many young women whom the standard brands at wig sales that everyone is saying everyone should be able to get, can't find a wig that fits them, or their hair color, at such a sale. I do think a budget should allow for the recipient's needs. The Torah says so.
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amother
Babypink
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Thu, Nov 02 2023, 1:42 pm
amother Olive wrote: | Depends on which circles she’s coming from. I’m Chassidish and every one I know started with 3 wigs. My litvish friends only started with 2 |
Litvish generally start with 3 wigs. A shabbos wig, a weekday wig, and a fall. That's commonly done. Not 3 full wigs. 2 full & 1 fall.
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amother
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Thu, Nov 02 2023, 1:45 pm
I got married after Covid (but 2.5 years ago, before the most recent price hike) and got two blonde sheitels about 16" long each for about $1700. Not on sale.
I am from an upper middle class background and didn't see a need to get more, in fact if I would go back in time I would probably have gotten one sheitel and one fall instead. (Toying now with the thought of getting myself a fall)
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Chayalle
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Thu, Nov 02 2023, 1:46 pm
amother Babypink wrote: | Litvish generally start with 3 wigs. A shabbos wig, a weekday wig, and a fall. That's commonly done. Not 3 full wigs. 2 full & 1 fall. |
Not at all. Almost everyone we spoke to said they got their DD 2 wigs - or a wig and a fall. Some get a 3rd wig sometime later, maybe a year after the wedding....
DD got two wigs. She'll probably get a fall next spring/summer. If I can, I would love to contribute to that.
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amother
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Thu, Nov 02 2023, 1:47 pm
amother Babypink wrote: | Litvish generally start with 3 wigs. A shabbos wig, a weekday wig, and a fall. That's commonly done. Not 3 full wigs. 2 full & 1 fall. |
Not in my experience. Most start with 2
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Chayalle
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Thu, Nov 02 2023, 1:47 pm
amother Peach wrote: | I got married after Covid (but 2.5 years ago, before the most recent price hike) and got two blonde sheitels about 16" long each for about $1700. Not on sale.
I am from an upper middle class background and didn't see a need to get more, in fact if I would go back in time I would probably have gotten one sheitel and one fall instead. (Toying now with the thought of getting myself a fall) |
Those same wigs are probably quite a bit more expensive by now. The price increase has been pretty drastic. And if you needed any alterations to said wig, you can keep adding to the cost.
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amother
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Thu, Nov 02 2023, 1:48 pm
Chayalle wrote: | Those same wigs are probably quite a bit more expensive by now. The price increase has been pretty drastic. And if you needed any alterations to said wig, you can keep adding to the cost. |
Quite possibly but I doubt that they have doubled in price.
My sister got married a year after me and hers were about $1400 a piece, also not on sale (although hers were slightly shorter and brown)
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amother
Maple
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Thu, Nov 02 2023, 1:49 pm
amother Babypink wrote: | Litvish generally start with 3 wigs. A shabbos wig, a weekday wig, and a fall. That's commonly done. Not 3 full wigs. 2 full & 1 fall. |
I'm litvish yeshivish. No one in my circles would even wear a fall. Most got 2 wigs, one shabbos and one weekday.
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amother
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Thu, Nov 02 2023, 1:53 pm
I got married in the past year and got 2 wigs. My mother knew from experience that often kallahs are not happy with their first shaitel since they don't really know what they want and what will look good on them so it's not worth spending a lot when they won't be happy with it. Because we were only getting 2 she was happy to spend more on them so I had higher quality wigs I was happy with especially since I have a hard color. I ended up with a Kiki lace top for around 3k and an Irene fall for a little under 2k (I think). I wouldn't have use for a weekday shaitel since I basically wear my fall every day and I don't have my shabbos shaitel styled so fancy so I can wear it on a weekday if needed. A lot of my friends do the same and get 1 nice wig and a fall instead of 2 wigs and a fall
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amother
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Thu, Nov 02 2023, 1:55 pm
amother Peach wrote: | Quite possibly but I doubt that they have doubled in price.
My sister got married a year after me and hers were about $1400 a piece, also not on sale (although hers were slightly shorter and brown) |
The price jumps in the past few years are much more dramatic than you would expect. Really every few months wigs get significantly more expensive
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Chayalle
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Thu, Nov 02 2023, 1:55 pm
notshanarishona wrote: | The same thing everyone else does when they need something but can’t afford it, either make do with less or only get one quality. The standard for hachnasas kallah should not be more than the average low to middle class family can get. It should be similar. |
I just want to comment on this post. Basically you are saying that if someone does not have a standard size or color hair, they should make do with less than someone who does, if tzedaka $$ are needed.
From my perspective, that would preclude getting someone with a disability something more expensive that they need....I mean, no accommodations, right? Everyone gets the same, regardless of how Hashem made them.
I do agree the standards for Hachnasas Kallah should be average, middle class, it does not have to be high end or over the top.
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amother
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Thu, Nov 02 2023, 1:56 pm
Chayalle wrote: | I know quite a few exceptions, then. Many young women whom the standard brands at wig sales that everyone is saying everyone should be able to get, can't find a wig that fits them, or their hair color, at such a sale. I do think a budget should allow for the recipient's needs. The Torah says so. |
A wig that fits them, yes. A wig of their hair color, no. With the total dollar number of tzedaka needs out there in the Jewish community, spending extra on a wig to match the recipient's hair color is wasteful. Kids cannot afford braces, proper glasses, nourishing food. And someone needs he "perfect" wig? No. Go take on an extra job and pay for that difference yourself. There is only so many tzedaka dollars to go around.
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amother
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Thu, Nov 02 2023, 1:58 pm
Chayalle wrote: | I just want to comment on this post. Basically you are saying that if someone does not have a standard size or color hair, they should make do with less than someone who does, if tzedaka $$ are needed.
From my perspective, that would preclude getting someone with a disability something more expensive that they need....I mean, no accommodations, right? Everyone gets the same, regardless of how Hashem made them.
I do agree the standards for Hachnasas Kallah should be average, middle class, it does not have to be high end or over the top. |
You are equating an unusual hair color with a disability?? Someone cannot be happy with a wig that doesn't closely match their hair color?? Sounds like someone needs an education on being sameach b'chelko.
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amother
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Thu, Nov 02 2023, 1:59 pm
Chayalle wrote: | I know quite a few exceptions, then. Many young women whom the standard brands at wig sales that everyone is saying everyone should be able to get, can't find a wig that fits them, or their hair color, at such a sale. I do think a budget should allow for the recipient's needs. The Torah says so. |
Please tell me where the Torah says that a budget should allow for the hair color the recipient wants. Yes, WANTS, not NEEDS.
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Chayalle
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Thu, Nov 02 2023, 2:00 pm
amother Sage wrote: | I got married in the past year and got 2 wigs. My mother knew from experience that often kallahs are not happy with their first shaitel since they don't really know what they want and what will look good on them so it's not worth spending a lot when they won't be happy with it. Because we were only getting 2 she was happy to spend more on them so I had higher quality wigs I was happy with especially since I have a hard color. I ended up with a Kiki lace top for around 3k and an Irene fall for a little under 2k (I think). I wouldn't have use for a weekday shaitel since I basically wear my fall every day and I don't have my shabbos shaitel styled so fancy so I can wear it on a weekday if needed. A lot of my friends do the same and get 1 nice wig and a fall instead of 2 wigs and a fall |
I have heard this POV before and it probably is based on the experience of some Kallahs. I actually had a different POV. I have two sisters who both got pretty good sheitels when they got married (not Dinis, but like, Shevys and Rosemaries - middle good quality) and both of them wore those sheitels for 8-10 years or more without buying new.
Based on their experience and the fact that my daughter is BH mature and capable (not the type that ruins things quickly or needlessly), I preferred not to waste money on sheitels that would need to be replaced quickly due to being poor quality, and chose to invest in quality (but not over-the-top) sheitels. I'm hoping my DD gets quite a few years out of my investment.
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