What was the most challenging time you went to the mikvah?

amother

Amber ↓

Tue, Jan 07 2025, 6:00 pm

amother OP wrote:

For me it was the day my grandmother passed away. I cried to the mikvah lady when I came in and she was so kind.

I think if parent is sitting Shiva one has to wait for mikvah

amother

↑ Amber

Tue, Jan 07 2025, 6:02 pm

I did full prep of an hour then realized I'm there the wrong night, miscalculated by 1 night prior due to yomtov confusion

Also I went during COVID lockdown and riots curfew in NY

amother

↑ Bubblegum

Tue, Jan 07 2025, 6:06 pm

amother Amber wrote:

I think if parent is sitting Shiva one has to wait for mikvah

If that's true, oops. I definitely went during shiva for more than one grandparent

amother

Arcticblue

Tue, Jan 07 2025, 6:21 pm

By far the hardest time was after I realized I had been s-xually abused as a kid and was having flashbacks and panic attacked about it. The symptoms were so severe I ended up getting drunk just to get through the day. It was hell. I made it through the prep by watching a movie literally at the Mikva. I cried and cried. Then I went home and was not intimate.

amother

Gardenia

Tue, Jan 07 2025, 6:27 pm

When there was a work even scheduled and boss asked me of I’ll go and o said I can’t, so he said he’ll push it off and his secretary asked, where does one HAVE to go? Unless of course it’s the mikvah, why can’t you reschedule?
Of course I colored and boss had the decency to look away and yes I got pregnant that night.

Chanukah night when I had to go but first had to check with bodekes, who h I already became a frequent flyer. Called them and they said they’re closing… Ayaya got there so late because kids and I was so apologetic but the lady was so nice.

amother

↑ Forestgreen

Tue, Jan 07 2025, 6:32 pm

amother Amber wrote:

I think if parent is sitting Shiva one has to wait for mikvah

I just checked the R Simcha Bunim Cohen book and it specifically says going to the mikvah is permitted.

amother

Apple

Tue, Jan 07 2025, 6:41 pm

1. The Friday night of my brother's bar mitzvah
2. Motzei yom tov at MIL's house
3. When my mother is mikvah lady
4. Superbowl Sunday. The first time I went after my wedding was Superbowl Sunday. Dh had a huge tantrum that he can't go to any Superbowl parties because of me. The next time I went on Superbowl Sunday, the Giants won the Super Bowl. I told dh that I'll follow the game with him when I get back from the mikvah. We both enjoyed the Giants' victory, and I had a baby 9 months later.

amother

DarkGray

Tue, Jan 07 2025, 6:55 pm

amother Aquamarine wrote:

Since I've found out that DH has very little chance of having his own children without serious medical intervention at this point. I am not very emotional, but I sit in the bath at the mikvah and I cry. I wish I could just push it off. I don't like intimacy with my husband. Ironically I did enjoy it when I thought we were going to have a child that way, but since his diagnosis, it just been so painful. Going to the mikvah is just really hard. I can't ask for support irl because obviously asking would hurt dh and others don't know about the situation and don't need to.

That's so hard. Hug

I think you should call one of the frum organizations as a safe place to vent and to ask for advice.

amother

↑ Begonia

Tue, Jan 07 2025, 7:24 pm

Motzei shavuos of a 3 day yom tov. It was right before the newer mikva opened in Lakewood. In those days it was impossible to get an appointment at a decent time for a regular summer night. This was after a 3 day yom tov and I forgot to call the first minute possible. The first available appointment was at 230am. They called me at 130 to say they had a no show and if I could rush they could fit me in for a shower appointment But I had decided to rest instead of prepping so I still needed to take a bath. The worst part was that my marriage was in a really bad place and my husband didn't even know I was going to the mikva that night.

amother

Blueberry

Tue, Jan 07 2025, 7:32 pm

I dont know if it holds a candle to the others. I had to go seder night at my in laws on a 3 day yom tov and there were other guests there as well.
It was snowing a lot had to go pick up my husband 20 minutes away was way to anxious turned around and then couldn't make it to the regular mikvah appointment there was way too much snow. (Got the neighborhood shabbos mikvah to open for me)

amother

↑ Gladiolus

Tue, Jan 07 2025, 8:54 pm

Adding when I had to go Rosh hashana, so I stayed home and made yt myself for the first time instead of going to my parents. Was really nice in the end but I got lots of questions from family members why I’m not coming for yt

amother

Stone

Tue, Jan 07 2025, 9:23 pm

During covid lockdown by pesach we were at my MIL. I told her I had an "appointment" the second night of pesach, and could she please watch my kids then? Then I had to bathe at her house erev YT and hadnt brought nail scissors ...had to borrow a car to go to pharmacy and buy a pair. Oysh.

amother

Brickred

Tue, Jan 07 2025, 9:26 pm

Our baby was at chop. Had heart surgery on Wednesday. We went motzei shabbas in a blizzard. Mikva lady was so nice and heard our baby was sick and paid for a hotel for us to stay in that night. I’ll never forgot her kindness.

↑ effess

Tue, Jan 07 2025, 9:28 pm

I was oot, needed to go and could not find the place. Problem was there was no phone reception, so I couldn’t call the ml to tell her I’m lost and to tell me where to go.
Then found a yeshiva, so we stopped to ask a bochur where it is. Just a tad uncomfortable.
Bh we finally found the place, more than 1 hour late.

amother

↑ Lotus ↓

Tue, Jan 07 2025, 9:29 pm

amother Brickred wrote:

That is so sweet of her. May Hashem bench her.

aimhabanim

Tue, Jan 07 2025, 9:32 pm

Friday night of DS Shabbos sheva brachos. When someone who knew me told someone that didn’t that it was my DS sheva brachos she said I thought that would only be in a book 😊

amother

Oleander

Tue, Jan 07 2025, 9:34 pm

6 months pregnant , during a difficult pregnancy - it was so weird to have to go with my big stomach. I felt resentful and awkward

Also once I gen away on vacation in literal hick town the Mikva was filthy and dark and full of bugs . I couldn’t wait to get out of there