Rosh chodesh sweaters -highschool girls

amother

Daffodil

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 11:59 am

We had this in byhs in bp growing up early 2000s;) so not just mochon don't remember it being a pressure tho, but they have since stopped and now you need to wear a white shirt and reg uniform sweater
My daughters hs now- does this too my daughter started complaining last night so I told her if ur not comfortable wearing what you have just wear your uniform that's also socially acceptable!!

kiwi strawberry

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 12:00 pm

mommyhood wrote:

I don’t find it such a pressure. We buy a few new tops for Succos and a few new tops for Pesach because she needs clothing for vacation and chol hamoed and one of the things we think about when we shop is making sure the tops are appropriate for school events and Rosh Chodesh. I’ve never heard her say anything about not rewearing something. Obviously not 2 days in a row adults don’t do that either but a couple months later is a non issue.

This exactly. Non Lakewood school here. Starts from junior high here.

amother

Pumpkin ↓

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 12:04 pm

I've never heard of this before...

Don't girls have clothes they wear out of school anyway? Can't those clothes be purchased with Rosh chodesh in mind too?

Also, how many roshai chodesh are there in a school year? Some will fall on shabbos and Sunday any given year, but maximum 8.

School starts in mid elul, tishrai is yuntif, cheshvan they wear something from succos. Kislev might coincide with November sales, Teves and shevat winter clearance sales (if they have nothing purchased for chol hamoed or yuntif or regular winter wardrobe that would work). Adar and Nissan sweaters will be needed for pesach anyway...

What am I missing?

amother

Dimgray

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 12:06 pm

amother Daffodil wrote:

BYHS, gave out white dickie shirts with their emblem, for the girls to wear Rosh chodesh. Most of the girls just wear their uniform shirt.

amother

↑ Peony ↓

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 12:07 pm

amother Pumpkin wrote:

Not everyone can afford all these sweaters. It’s a lot of unnecessary pressure.

amother

↑ Peony ↓

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 12:10 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

Again, it's not the schools. Somewhere, it became a rule that you couldn't wear the same sweater twice in the same season. Let's get to the root of THAT. Sounds like a job for Penimi. The schools too. Maybe together. Faigy Zelcer, do you ever go slumming here?

Of course, it’s the schools. This is about teens. They should understand the dynamics and social pressure and not create an additional stressor for a teen girl.
It’s really unnecessary.

amother

↑ Amaryllis ↓

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 12:11 pm

amother Peony wrote:

That’s just punishing your daughter for a stupid school rule.

What? Its a school rule that they have to wear a new swearshirt every rosh chodesh?
Or is this something imposed by the girls themselves?

amother

↑ Pumpkin

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 12:15 pm

amother Peony wrote:

Not everyone can afford all these sweaters. It’s a lot of unnecessary pressure.

What are they wearing outside of school on Sundays and shabbos afternoon and chol hamoed and Chanukah vacation, thru different seasons?

thatworn ↓

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 12:15 pm

Kind of bizarre. Maybe in that community/school there are a lot of bizarre social concepts, tho, and it's just something you have to get used to if you have to live in that community and send to that school.

amother

↑ Peony ↓

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 12:15 pm

amother Amaryllis wrote:

What? Its a school rule that they have to wear a new swearshirt every rosh chodesh?
Or is this something imposed by the girls themselves?

It’s a school rule that you need to wear a different sweater on RC. It’s considered socially unacceptable to wear the same one and the girls wear a new one each RC. This creates a lot of pressure and stress for the girls and it’s completely unnecessary and easily avoidable.

I’ve heard from a lot of mothers of teens how stressful this has been.

I wish schools were more in touch with the teens that they teach.

amother

↑ Peony ↓

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 12:17 pm

amother Pumpkin wrote:

What are they wearing outside of school on Sundays and shabbos afternoon and chol hamoed and Chanukah vacation, thru different seasons?

Some sweaters but there isn’t the same pressure as the ones necessary for school.

Also schools usually have some rules that eliminate a lot of sweaters and tops that you can wear on an ordinary day.

This becomes an additional stressor and additional expense which isn’t necessary.

amother

↑ Holly ↓

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 12:18 pm

amother Peony wrote:

Of course, it’s the schools. This is about teens. They should understand the dynamics and social pressure and not create an additional stressor for a teen girl.
It’s really unnecessary.

Exactly.
Im forever grateful to my daughters school (shout-out to Lakewood Oros) that has created a movement within the girls to davka bring only 1 dress for school Shabbos.
The teachers saw it was becoming a problem, the pressure, years ago, talked to the 12th grade, created a movement where all the girls brought only 1 outfit proudly. The next year, it spread to most of the school, then on and on
By now, it's a THING. I mean sure you can bring a second outfit just in case your first one gets covered in mud, but the school and culture have created an attitude that it's just not necessary and 98% of the girls do it proudly.

If a school cared about this RC sweater pressure, they could address it. Their silence says something also.

amother

↑ Amaryllis ↓

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 12:19 pm

amother Peony wrote:

Im sorry but thats ridiculous. The girls put this pressure on themselves.
As I said earlier, gashmius at its worse.
Its easily avoidable, if the parents dont cave and buy a ew one every month,this whole pressure would disappear and they would find something in their closet they wore a different RH.

amother

↑ Peony ↓

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 12:20 pm

amother Holly wrote:

That’s very impressive on Oros’s part.

They turned the tide and eliminated so much stress and pressure for the girls.

All schools should take heed and learn from Oros.

↑ thatworn ↓

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 12:20 pm

Is this a school rule that they discuss with parents before the parents sign up to send their daughters to the school? because if so, then I really think people should choose other schools. And yes, I know the whole "getting into school" in some communities is not the easiest parsha, but truly, why consider such a gashmiusdick mosad?!??!? How is the school teaching the children to be happy with what they have, to have respect for their parents and not demand expensive clothing/to be taken to a zillion stores when Mum is busy with all her siblings, , etc ... it sounds truly ridiculous.
Maybe parents can write letters to the board, and ask that the rule be removed, as it is causing agmas nefesh.

amother

↑ Peony ↓

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 12:21 pm

amother Amaryllis wrote:

Im sorry but thats ridiculous. The girls put this pressure on themselves.
As I said earlier, gashmius at its worse.
It’s easily avoidable, if the parents dont cave and buy a ew one every month,this whole pressure would disappear and they would find something in their closet they wore a different RH.

It’s not ridiculous to a teen in the situation. How long ago have been a teen? The pressure is real. Talk to the teens and understand the dynamics.

amother

↑ Peony ↓

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 12:22 pm

thatworn wrote:

I didn’t know to ask about the RC sweater policy. But yes, if parents speak up then maybe there will be a change.

amother

Jetblack

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 12:23 pm

amother Holly wrote:

Practically how did they accomplish this?

↑ PinkFridge ↓

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 12:23 pm

amother Peony wrote:

Of course, it’s the schools. This is about teens. They should understand the dynamics and social pressure and not create an additional stressor for a teen girl.
It’s really unnecessary.

So you're saying that it's the schools faults for letting the girls wear their tops because they should have known that they couldn't trust the girls to not mess it up?

mizle10 ↓

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 12:23 pm

amother Peony wrote:

Of course, it’s the schools. This is about teens. They should understand the dynamics and social pressure and not create an additional stressor for a teen girl.
It’s really unnecessary.

Sorry that’s ridiculous. My girls school lets them wear their own clothing on RC and it’s nothing like this at all. They have clothing, they do need to get dressed on Sundays and motzei shabbos and whatever they own is perfectly fine. My girls really like it.

It’s not on the school to for see every ridiculous social pressure that students and parents are buying into.