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Forum
-> Household Management
-> Finances
amother
Mimosa
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 11:39 am
amother NeonPink wrote: | I receive Tomchei.. It comes from the regular grocery/butcher with the same delivery guy. No-one, including my kids know it's not a regular order that I've paid for. It's the biggest chesed IMO. | I wish they would do that where I live
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amother
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 11:41 am
amother OP wrote: | But would she move her kids so far away from their friends? |
She wouldn't they have plenty of money (they are being supported), but I did ( different city, same idea).
We moved a similar distance to wear most of the frum people live, close enough that dh can walk to shul and I can walk the kids to friends on shabbos, but still really out of it.
We had to get out of the hole we where in. Like I said, I make a real effort to drive and walk my kids to friends and make sure they have play dates. Fri night I walk them to friends, shabbos afternoons I walk them to friends....
Its a lot for me, but we couldn't live like that anymore....
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Goldie613
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 2:15 pm
amother OP wrote: | I just spoke with tomchei shabbos again, they said I can only pickup from them in a different neighborhood. Otherwise it’s drop off, which is not an option for us now… |
How far away is this other neighborhood? Can you make that work for you?
What if they drop it off at your or your husband's work instead of your home, so your neighbors won't see anything?
Odd question - do you know someone in that other neighborhood that can get the box delivered to them? Even a not Jewish worker, who can just be told it's a package that can't get delivered to your place (don't have to give a reason, can just say it wouldn't work for you)?
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amother
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 2:17 pm
Goldie613 wrote: | How far away is this other neighborhood? Can you make that work for you?
What if they drop it off at your or your husband's work instead of your home, so your neighbors won't see anything?
Odd question - do you know someone in that other neighborhood that can get the box delivered to them? Even a not Jewish worker, who can just be told it's a package that can't get delivered to your place (don't have to give a reason, can just say it wouldn't work for you)? |
Good ideas though
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Goldie613
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 2:21 pm
amother OP wrote: | As I said many times I cannot. 3pm Friday afternoon is just not gonna work.
definitely not at his work.
And no I don’t know anyone in that neighborhood.
Good ideas though |
I'm sorry OP, if I think of anything else I will post later
I'm surprised they are saying it has to be 3pm on a Friday - I mean, I'm sure there must be a logistical reason for it, but it's erev Shabbos for them too (sigh).
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amother
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 2:28 pm
How does anyone know what it is? Isn’t it just a random box delivered in an unmarked car? It can be any order from any store.
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amother
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 2:39 pm
amother Viola wrote: | How does anyone know what it is? Isn’t it just a random box delivered in an unmarked car? It can be any order from any store. | we don’t have stores that do orders. Also it’s more about the person dropping off.
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mha3484
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 2:41 pm
OOC how does the person dropping it off know its for you? What if your taking the box so someone else wont be embarrassed?
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amother
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 2:46 pm
Op I'm sorry for you. What does dh say when you tell him you have no money for food...he would rather his kids be hungry than he possibly be a little embarrassed? Can you meet up with the tomchei shabbos driver somewhere so they don't need to come to your house?
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amother
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 2:47 pm
amother Cyan wrote: | Op I'm sorry for you. What does dh say when you tell him you have no money for food...he would rather his kids be hungry than he possibly be a little embarrassed? Can you meet up with the tomchei shabbos driver somewhere so they don't need to come to your house? |
He’d rather put it on the cc and hoping his raise comes through soon
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amother
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 2:52 pm
amother OP wrote: | we don’t have stores that do orders. Also it’s more about the person dropping off. |
They deliver to so many they aren’t keeping track. They just have addresses not names. And really they don’t care, no one is saying omg mr. Smith needs tomchei shabbos. I really think he’s way overthinking this and he needs to just stop it and do what’s right for his family. If it’s the delivery drivers he’s embarrassed of that’s just silly. They are discreet and respectful.
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amother
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 2:53 pm
amother Viola wrote: | They deliver to so many they aren’t keeping track. They just have addresses not names. And really they don’t care, no one is saying omg mr. Smith needs tomchei shabbos. I really think he’s way overthinking this and he needs to just stop it and do what’s right for his family. If it’s the delivery drivers he’s embarrassed of that’s just silly. They are discreet and respectful. |
Ok. Whether or not it’s silly he’s embarrassed.
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amother
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 2:54 pm
mha3484 wrote: | OOC how does the person dropping it off know its for you? What if your taking the box so someone else wont be embarrassed? |
Because that’s not very likely.
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amother
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 2:58 pm
OP, I really feel bad for you and the situation you find yourself in.
Just not sure what you hope to gain from these posts.
In both this and your last thread, you did not take much advice from the posters, but answered them back with excuses and reasons why things can't change, and need to remain status quo.
What is your goal with these threads?
If it's for sympathy, then you've got mine!
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amother
Green
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 2:59 pm
amother OP wrote: | Ok. Whether or not it’s silly he’s embarrassed. |
Offer to volunteer for tomchei shabbos (even stocking the boxes will make it easier to discreetly get your box in your trunk before leaving)
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amother
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 3:00 pm
amother Ginger wrote: | OP, I really feel bad for you and the situation you find yourself in.
Just not sure what you hope to gain from these posts.
In both this and your last thread, you did not take much advice from the posters, but answered them back with excuses and reasons why things can't change, and need to remain status quo.
What is your goal with these threads?
If it's for sympathy, then you've got mine! |
I was just hoping I’m not the only one in such a situation. Hoping others would comment about their hard time too. Misery loves company I guess.
And yes I tried lots of suggestions (asking for tzedaka, calling tomchei shabbos, calling the rav)
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amother
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 3:02 pm
amother OP wrote: | As I said many times I cannot. 3pm Friday afternoon is just not gonna work.
definitely not at his work.
And no I don’t know anyone in that neighborhood.
Good ideas though |
Wow 3pm on a Friday sounds very late, what happens when Shabbos is at 4/5pm? Also I used to do deliveries for Tomchei in Brooklyn, we did it Thursday night 6-9pm timing wise, so people were still able to use the food to cook for Shabbos, what does 3pm Friday accomplish?
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amother
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 3:04 pm
Would your husband be able to maybe put up a Sukkah or 2 on Motzei/Sunday. I know people who pay $300-$1000 for someone to build their sukkah. Dunno if it’s an option in Cleveland though.
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Cheiny
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 3:12 pm
amother Ginger wrote: | OP, I really feel bad for you and the situation you find yourself in.
Just not sure what you hope to gain from these posts.
In both this and your last thread, you did not take much advice from the posters, but answered them back with excuses and reasons why things can't change, and need to remain status quo.
What is your goal with these threads?
If it's for sympathy, then you've got mine! |
Agree, when every suggestion is met with excuses why they won’t work, it raises suspicions.
Everyone should keep in mind not to offer any help to anyone until and unless Yael has them checked out, as per her instructions. Unfortunately some scammers have been on this site looking to take advantage of generous, compassionate imas by posting a realistic sounding sob story.
I’m not saying that’s necessarily the case with this thread, just a heads up in general. There are many resources out there to help needy people and they should avail themselves of it.
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