Are you pretending or really enjoying?

PrairieFairy

Wed, May 29 2024, 11:16 am

amother OP wrote:

Is there something you are always pretending to enjoy/ food that you claim you like but really don’t?

If so, why do you pretend?

For me, it’s alcohol.
Social pressure at a party, wedding etc..
I’m talking about the rose type as well LOL

But I really don’t care for the taste or anything about it..

Also matching my kids..
I love the finished product but absolutely couldn’t care for the process leading up to that

I only "pretend" with relations. And that's only by omission. Lately I've been having pain with that and my DH notices and feels bad. I don't volunteer that it hurts and I try to avoid answering if he asks. (the rest of the experience is great and yes, I am working with Dr's on it but I don't make a big deal about it for my DH, he knows and we work with it but in the act I breeaaatthhee through it)

For other things, like listening to other people's stories, I've worked on myself and know that when I listen, I give someone space to be seen and heard. That's a true gift. I'm not rich by any means and can't give as much as I want financially, but I can absolutely give of my time and heart.

I wanted so desperately to be seen and heard in the past (healing is amazing and tools are fantastic and I know how today). Seeing that unmet need in other people and knowing I'm playing a part in making the world brighter, happier, more hopeful, and full of love is enjoyable in that thought process. Even if I wouldn't care for the topic on my own.

So I guess I'm "pretending" to care about the topic, or rather I'm making myself interested in the topic (or your pictures), because the end result of connection and spreading spaces of vulnerability and "to allow someone to be seen" is amazing to me. So I guess it's fascinating by default.

giselle

Wed, May 29 2024, 11:58 am

amother Peony wrote:

I pretend to enjoy being an introvert, but in reality I'd give anything to be an extrovert. I think they have a much better time in life for the most part.

Really? So curious why you feel this way. I find myself getting more introverted as I get older and I absolutely love it. I’ve never thought extroverts have it better at all.

zaq

Wed, May 29 2024, 5:55 pm

amother OP wrote:

I’m not talking about manners.. that’s being a mentsch
Like a pp said- more leaning toward social pressures. Like why can’t I just admit I don’t like alcohol??

. IDK, why can't you? We all go thru a stage in our early 20s or so, in which we pretend to be worldly sophisticates enjoying "adult" pleasures like alcohol and acquired-taste foods. By your 30s you should have outgrown the need to impress people with how sophisticated you are and should be able to state unapologetically that you're not a fan of alcohol/coffee/French cuisine/classical music/rock music/high heels/pricey food fad du jour etc.

zaq

Wed, May 29 2024, 6:01 pm

amother Lemonchiffon wrote:

It's something I used to do but don't anymore. Now I'm old enough not to care what anyone thinks and I have no problem being honest about not being into things like everyone else. Two things off the top of my head: I hate sushi. I used to try to push myself because everyone's obsessed, always ordering sushi etc. Now I just say no thanks and if pressed I'll say I really really don't care for it. Another thing is flowers. Early in my marriage, dh bought flowers every Friday because he was told that's what wives like. I felt bad to tell him I don't like flowers. Eventually after a couple of years, I mustered up the courage to tell him actually I'm not a fan and he can stop buying them. I think he was kind of relieved. I was certainly relieved to finally to get it out there!

I never pretended. First time I had it I assumed it was inferior because the place was a greasy spoon. Next time I tried it at a fancy simcha, where it was still a tasteless dish, visually attractive but serving only as a vehicle for the sauce. Kind of like one or two guys I went out with, come to think of it.

If a food (or a person) can't stand on its own merit but requires a sauce to make it palatable, what's the point?

Genius

Wed, May 29 2024, 6:05 pm

zaq wrote:

So you’re against cereal, ice cream cones, and franks too? I’m insulted for sushi’s sake.
I’ll let the guys blush on their own…

zaq

Wed, May 29 2024, 8:14 pm

Genius wrote:

So you’re against cereal, ice cream cones, and franks too? I’m insulted for sushi’s sake.
I’ll let the guys blush on their own…

None of the foods you mentioned NEEDS sauces or toppings. They are enhanced by them but can be eaten straight up. Yes, even the ice cream cone by itself without the ice cream (at least the sugar cones. The wafer cones are edible styrofoam, merely serving as a means of containing the confection but not qualifying as "food." ) How many non-Asians do you know who eat sushi straight up without dipping sauce? Japanese schoolgirls eating dinner on the subway on the way to violin lessons after school don't count.

Furthermore ,nobody pretends to like cereal, franks or ice cream cones in order to impress people with their sophistication. These are all "peasant food" to quote a different thread. Pseudo-sophisticates are more likely to deny liking such proletarian fare, though we all know they eat it when nobody's watching.

newinbp

Wed, May 29 2024, 9:21 pm

I don’t like shopping with friends. In the past I would do it cuz it was cool and it always felt fake to me, like I couldn’t really concentrate and get what really suited me. To the point that I’d even have to go back to the same place by myself to really shop and buy.
Now I don’t shop with friends when I really need things and in my mind going shopping with friends is purely social, I.e window shopping and I may pick up a chatchke and that’s about it Wink

Simple1

Wed, May 29 2024, 9:35 pm

amother OP wrote:

But I really don’t care for the taste or anything about it..

Also matching my kids..
I love the finished product but absolutely couldn’t care for the process leading up to that

I’m very curious in which place is there social pressure to drink alcohol?

Personally I never pretend to like anything out of peer pressure. Maybe I’m missing something but what’s the big deal if I don’t like something that most people do? We all have different tastes.