Spoiler alert - FF lie of the land

amother

↑ Ecru ↓

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 4:06 am

LovesHashem wrote:

I disagree. Forget cleaning out the house, I've seen many scenarios where an unmarried or divorced sibling moves in with a married + kids sibling for an extended period of time, sometimes even months.

And why not? If they are in a place where they are figuring out their life or want a change of scenery or are visiting another country, it's nice to be around your neices and nephews and live with family for a bit.

If you have a guest room, private bathroom, and a larger house (they have an upstairs so not an apartment) there's plenty of room for privacy. It's sounds like the kids don't go to bed at 6/7pm each night and with Rivi's job as well, it seems like it's not like intimate couple dinners are on the table.

Can work especially well when it's the wife's brother or husband's sister, no problem with Yichud

↑ LovesHashem ↓

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 4:38 am

amother Ecru wrote:

Can work especially well when it's the wife's brother or husband's sister, no problem with Yichud

Right but I've heard of situations where there is potential yichud. If there's kids around it's much easier as well.

↑ PinkFridge ↓

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 6:56 am

B'Syata D'Shmya wrote:

I dont think his being there is good or bad, it is what it is, he has no other place to be as long as he doesnt return to the Amazon where he came from. His sister and bil are gracious enough to allow him to stay by them without it impinging on their lives too much (guest bedroom...), I assume they like having him around, and havent read one word to the contrary. Perhaps they are hoping he will return to "normal" life after getting the Amazon thing out of his system, and see the benefits of their lifestyle.
Honestly, he could stay alone in his fathers home.
And yes, its taking a ton of time to clean out, but thats not unusual. Depends on what level hoarding was done in the home. Lesson for us all.

And if he's being useful in any way, that's also a plus to have him around.

amother

Oleander

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 9:18 am

Definitely not. Cohen Yichus is through mesorah. Unfortunately there are those that may not be true kohanim which will be revealed by yemai mashiach but until then we rely on the chazaka of the mesorah.
That’s why those with a Yichus brief are more relied upon, but no one is told they can’t act as kohein if they have a family mesorah.
Blood tests aren’t relied upon in Halacha in this case.

PinkFridge wrote:

Will that alone be enough halachically?

↑ juggling

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 2:52 pm

amother Oleander wrote:

The proof needed here isn't that he is a Cohen, it's that he isn't. I don't know if the DNA test is halachikally sufficient, but I assume the story will go there at some point.

↑ B'Syata D'Shmya ↓

Tue, Dec 31 2024, 1:34 am

juggling wrote:

I believe the DNA tests they did at the very beginning are likely enough proof he isn't a kohen.

I think the DNA tests just prove that they arent the children of this Cohen, doesnt mean their biological father isnt a Cohen, they have to find out who their biological father is first, and prove he wasnt a Cohen.

This is not an easy matter, for a Cohen to marry a divorcee has consequences.

↑ B'Syata D'Shmya ↓

Tue, Dec 31 2024, 1:38 am

amother Oleander wrote:

A Rav had this in his shule, where a guy with questionable Cohen status insisted on getting up to duchen with the other Cohanim on YK,
The Rav gave a drasha that morning before the duchening that we should all have kavana when we say Amen to the brocha from the Cohanim that only Hashem know to be real Cohanim and our Amen is to their bracha/s.

He also had a situation (earlier) where someone wanted and did say Kaddish Yasom for a parent beyond the 11 months, The Rav said we have kavanah in the kehillas responses to those Kaddish that only Hashem knows are proper.

↑ B'Syata D'Shmya ↓

Tue, Dec 31 2024, 1:42 am

amother Hotpink wrote:

He's taking his time on purpose...he's gonna get engaged to Penina!

I think Penina needs a more stable guy. Sorry, not on team Gabe on this. Odd one out here - and Im usually a romantic. I like neat endings.
I think it would be a huge mistake. Gabe is after a trauma and when things settle he will want to go back to the Amazon etc.

↑ LovesHashem ↓

Tue, Dec 31 2024, 3:11 am

I like that Gabe isn't typical. I don't want him to "settle down" and live a typical life. It's nice to see people who are out of the box.

I'm fine with him ending up with Penina if he can retain his kob somewhat, take short trips to the Amazon a few times a year, or something like that.

↑ LovesHashem ↓

Tue, Dec 31 2024, 3:14 am

B'Syata D'Shmya wrote:

Gabe doesn't seem unstable to me. Just not typical and not understanding of the nuances of relationships, frum society, etc.

He doesn't seem traumatized to me, Rivi is wayyyy more traumatized. Gabe is actually very level headed, stable, etc.

He couldn't commit to Penina but that has nothing to do with being stable. Many people get cold feet for such a big life commitment, and with no one to influence and push him to go forward with it like a mentor or shadchan or Rav.... It has nothing to do with being stable. And also that was many years ago.

↑ B'Syata D'Shmya ↓

Tue, Dec 31 2024, 3:15 am

LovesHashem wrote:

She may be ok with that, being she is ok with being alone for stretches of time.

↑ B'Syata D'Shmya ↓

Tue, Dec 31 2024, 3:26 am

LovesHashem wrote:

Sorry I dont think walking out on the engagement and leaving his sister to break the news, is stable to me. Yes, he may not be the same person he was then, and he apologized. He still needs to deal with what led him to do that.
If he wants a relationship with Penina now, hes got to start from scratch.
Rivi has every right to be traumatized.
He should apologize profusely to Rivi as well. That may help her trauma.

Its easy for Gabe to come across as level headed and stable. He doesnt have any responsibilities. He answers to no one , he can pick himself up and leave at any time. Sorry, but he currently is a free loader on his sister and brother in laws good nature.

amother

↑ Blush

Tue, Dec 31 2024, 8:26 am

B'Syata D'Shmya wrote:

Were there any hints that Abba isn't their actual father?

↑ PinkFridge ↓

Tue, Dec 31 2024, 9:06 am

B'Syata D'Shmya wrote:

I agree with the first part but would like to think the "It's easy" and beyond isn't so. It'll make a more satisfying read, IMO.

↑ LovesHashem ↓

Tue, Dec 31 2024, 9:15 am

B'Syata D'Shmya wrote:

He tried to apologize to Penina. He doesn't understand nuances of relationships, I don't think he even realizes what he did to Rivi by making her break the news, or how it affects Rivi living with her right now.

He actually comes across neurodivergent to me and very relatable in that way. He seems clueless, but if he realized he would for sure apologize.

I feel like he is level headed and stable in general as his personality. We've never seen him panic or freak out or anything, even through memories of what he was in the past.

Walking out on an engagement and leaving your sister to deal with the fallout is a one clueless and dumb decision. It's not neccesarily reflective of his entire mental state.