Would you get your daughter's hair done proffessionally for

↑ Tamiri

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 6:58 am

CM all you have to do is click on them to see them normally. Is her name Batya? They are beautiful children knock on wood LOL.

Ruchel

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 7:23 am

Not even mine would be done professionally.

When she's bh getting engaged, yeah, if she wants, of course!

bandcm

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 8:56 am

Absolutely not.
Chossidmom, your daughter looks very pretty, but I think it is too much for a bar mitzva.
Of course, I don't know which circles you are in. Probably in your crowd it is normal, otherwise you wouldn't have done it.

To add, that at MY OWN engagement/lchaim/vort (we only have one party in England), my hair wasn't done professionally! My friend blowdried it, is all, and another friend put some pins in to hold it back.

↑ Raisin ↓

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 9:39 am

chossidmom, your dd is kah beautiful, but actually I think little girls look better without too much fussing. Older girls too. My mother paid lots of money for my hair to be done for one sisters wedding when I was 16 and it was so overdone.

you could buy a cheap curling iron and acheive most of those effects yourself.

↑ ChossidMom ↓

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 9:39 am

Like I said, I'm so not into this but a girl has to feel ok in her circles too. You have NO IDEA how long she waited for us to finally have a simcha so that she could be a princess. Frankly, I think that the Dati Leumi have it right. They wear nice Shabbos clothing to simchas and they look beautiful. I hate the way the bar is constantly being raised in the Charedi world. Puke

But, I can't take a stand at my daughter's "expense". *sigh*

BTW, Tamiri, my daughter's name is Leahle. My little one is Batya. (She didn't get a 'do by the way)

↑ maidale

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 10:36 am

bandcm wrote:

My mom blow dried mine for my engagement (otherwise I'd have gone in a ponytail) and I looked great. I also don't like it when these little girls are overdone. What for?? We're putting ideas in their heads that they don't even have. They'll be demanding it soon enough. Why feed it to them? totally unnecessary!

Fabulous

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 10:39 am

I think it depends on the hair they have. If it is thick and longish, 10 bucks is worth it. If it's shorter and naturally straighter, just put on a headband or half pony and it's okay.

orchidmom ↓

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 11:33 am

I actually don't see the problem, personally I don't think I would do for siblings engagement.
But for bar mitzvah etc I think it's nice, girls like feeling special and it is not every day they get a chance to be dressed up! Everyone has their own budgets and I am sure each person knows their own budget and wouldn't go over the top!

greenfire ↓

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 11:38 am

I would buy a beautiful hair clip that she has to keep rather than spend that on doing her hair ... certainly not for an engagement ... maybe the wedding ...

Mommish

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 11:43 am

I don't see anything wrong with it. If my SIL got engaged, I think she would like my kids to get all dolled up. I think my girls would love it too.

Fox

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 11:47 am

I agree with chanchy123, although, ChossidMom, your kids are absolutely adorable!

I guess I'm showing my age, but I'm not really a fan of all these sausage curls and tendrils. It looks like something out of a Regency-era romance novel! Whatever happened to a curled ponytail or French roll/braid with some flowers?

Mimisinger ↓

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 11:48 am

For a wedding yes, a vort, no.

I didn't even get my hair done for my vort!!! I did for my wedding, but that's it. (And that's because those pics last a looong time Smile

)

zaq ↓

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 11:52 am

chanchy123 wrote:

your daughters are little girls, they should dress like little girls - not like little brideletts.

exactly. when I see little girls and even teens poufed and moussed up at simchas, I think of poor dead JonBenet Ramsey, all tarted up like a 25-y/o Las Vegas showgirl when she was 5.

↑ Mimisinger

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 11:55 am

That's really sick.

Ronit

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 11:56 am

yes $10 is a great price.

I do sheitels/hair so don't really have the issue since I do it on my own & it doesn't cost me a/t.

But I think it depends on the kids hair- some look great when your just put in a pretty head band/ or little girls with loose hair & ribbon bows.. - If the kid has bad/messy hair I definitely would let her go get it done if I wouldn't have the time.

my sisters go to the chinese all the time- they are good & cheap...

↑ zaq

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 12:01 pm

Mimisinger wrote:

That's really sick.

Yes, it is. Little girls should look and dress like little girls--fresh and natural, not prinked and primped and painted and gelled.

Mrs. XYZ ↓

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 12:09 pm

No way. And I'm chareidi and dont live in Israel.

Only for a siblings wedding (or my sibling). Even then, for little kids under 6 I wouldn't pay, I would try to do something myself. For the older kids, yes.

SuperMama ↓

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 12:24 pm

Ok happens to be that I blow out my 2 year olds hair regularly so I'm not the one to ask about it. Anyways, even though I can do the styles that are in (like ChossidMoms daughters hair), for a simcha I would definitely take my kids to have it professionally blown just because I want them to feel like they are being treated like a queen. That being said, I wouldn't do it for a siblings vort, only a wedding, but the truth is I would still blow all my daughters hair up and put in hairspray and a style myself for a vort (my daughters are 6,3,and 2). In fact, when my son who is now 4 was 2 I had a siblings weddnig and I put him in a yummy yummy suit and I curled his hair and sprayed hairspray and put it in a side pony like a girl but in boys clothes and he looked stunning! YUMMMM

↑ chanchy123 ↓

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 1:09 pm

I'm not even talking about the money, I'm talking about chinuch. Speaking of what is important in life. I don't think external appearances are the most important things in life, I'd rather spend the time and money elsewhere. I think the focus on the simcha should be the simcha - not what people are wearing. Besides the point, I don't see the real difference between little girls with tons of mousse/jell in their hair and makeup and adult-styled dresses and the little girls dressed as tramps with suggestive outfits that belong in a men's magazine. Both sides of the coin turn little girls into little women and in a way zexual objects.
Talking about tznius!!!!
So your body and hair are covered but, is that all modesty means? I'm sure your dear little daughters are covered from neck to toe - but what message are you sending them? This is not a message of tsnius, this is not a message of modesty. Who care if no men even get to see them. Tsnius is not about what men can see or not. Tsnius is about what every individual displays to the outside world. It is about what you keep to yourself, it is about priorities, it is about deciding that the most important thing about a girl or woman is her midot, her yirat shamyim, her personality, this is what counts.
We cover up to keep the focus off our bodies, not to draw more attention to them.
Tsnius is not to flaunt what you have.

I know I live a totally different life than most of you women. But it drives me crazy that people from circles such as these put such emphasis on superficial "tsnius" that they have forgotten what it really means. All they have left is a whole bunch of superficial rules that mean nothing in the end. I am sure that someone like me would be deemed prizusdik if you were to see me on the street. But you forget the passuk הצנע לכת עם ה' אלוקיך this passuk means that one should be tsanua in everything one does. So if your sheitel covers every strand of hair - but cost 2000$ and looks like a million $ - it maybe considered a halachic head covering - but it definitely would not be considered tsniusdic. Your suit may cover your legs to your ankles, your arms to your wrists and your neck to your chin - but if it cost more than I spend on food for a week - I can't believe anyone would consider this tsniusdic.

This is not targeted at anyone personally. I understand it is hard living up to your society's standards. You can't make your kids a victim of your beliefs. I have had several discussions with my SIL who is Chareidi and like chossidmom hates having to do these stuff because of what society demands.
My problem is with these groups of society, who have the audacity to look down at people like me claiming I am either not tsniusdic enough or yirat shamyim enough because I don't wear the correct outfit (I.e. - mikva attendant thread). You claim to be the right paths of Judaism and avodat hashem yet you have so many inherent flaws. I'm just asking that you should have enough anava - humility to accept those of us who have another derech in Avodat Hashem that is not like yours. You might think we have inherent flaws - I guess you should assume so, otherwise you'd join us - but you should respect us as well. We also try our best to worship Hashem and observe all the mitzvot.

I invite anyone of you to my community in Gush ezyon. Most families live in caravans - probably the size of many of your living room. Children and adults both are simply dressed. Nobody really cares what the others are doing. But everyone has mesirut nefesh for torah, for am yisrael, and eretz yisrael.
Really I think this can be a real experience for anyone out there who wants to experience something new.
Please PM me if interested I would love to have you and I can accommodate any hechser demands withing reason.

↑ SuperMama ↓

Wed, Dec 17 2008, 1:14 pm

I want my kid to feel for one night like a million billion bagillion trillion bucks and get all done up. In my house my children gets so much hugs and attention they already feel like a million but for one night to get their hair done, it's not too much, it's not bad chinich. For ONE night. GIVE ME A BREAK!