Am I the only one that has anxiety about going to daven.

PinkFridge ↓

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 9:36 pm

amother Offwhite wrote:

I’m a convert with ADHD. I love the themes but the reality of the day for me is that I’m totally lost in davening and can’t stay focused but for a few points (mostly songs) that tickle the old dopamine receptors. I help at the shul babysitting and ask Hashem to count those mothers’ davening in my favor, and then take some time to daven in short bursts throughout the day.

Tizku l'mitzvos!
Do you take time to read the English and connect?

amother

SandyBrown

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 9:38 pm

amother Stonewash wrote:

I'm like that too but I stay for mussaf usually. Yom kipper I'm nervous to go out during the fast so I stay home even though I can go . I do better at home

YK I like to go by day because otherwise the day drags on forever. RH I have a harder time with tefillot but especially this year there’s so much we need to daven for.

amother

Cornsilk

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 11:18 pm

amother Steel wrote:

I'm anxious because hashem will decide our fate and it seems to be random. I wish we could control it.

This all the way Sad

amother

↑ Offwhite

Tue, Oct 01 2024, 12:28 am

PinkFridge wrote:

Tizku l'mitzvos!
Do you take time to read the English and connect?

Yes, most of my davening is in English. I try to buy/borrow a related English book to read too, but that’s less successful with little kids now.

amother

Clear

Tue, Oct 01 2024, 5:30 am

amother OP wrote:

I haven’t got little ones at home and I could really be a whole day in shul but just thinking of going to daven makes me ill. Am I the only one?

I have teens and older. I havent been to shul in about 8 years, shabbos or yomim noraim. I just cant.
Dont feel bad to stay home. You do what you can.
If you cant go, for whatever reason, thats aso ok.

amother

Brown

Tue, Oct 01 2024, 6:24 am

I am the same way! I feel so validated that it’s not just me. It’s just torture for me I daven much better at home. I used to use having small children as an excuse but they are not little anymore…

↑ PinkFridge ↓

Tue, Oct 01 2024, 7:36 am

amother Offwhite wrote:

Yes, most of my davening is in English. I try to buy/borrow a related English book to read too, but that’s less successful with little kids now.

Do what you can. You're in the same boat many of us have been blessed to be in.

amother

Yellow

Tue, Oct 01 2024, 8:53 am

Dear OP, I can relate. I think its knowing how long the davening takes that puts me off going to shul all day. Because in my shul it really is all day! We never finish before about 3pm!
The shul I went to as a kid was much faster, it was over by about 1.15-1.30pm. Lots of singing, not always so tuneful, the pace was not so painfully slow in general. It was a chabad shul. Is there a chabad near to you? If yes, maybe try it out! The nusach is slightly different but it shouldnt be too confusing. Good luck. I hope this year will be better for you if you go to shul.

amother

Hunter

Tue, Oct 01 2024, 9:10 am

Going back to shul after staying home for about 20 years was very challenging. Especially davening a long Shmone Esrei. Of course I don't want to be the first one finished Confused

↑ PinkFridge

Tue, Oct 01 2024, 9:12 am

amother Hunter wrote:

Going back to shul after staying home for about 20 years was very challenging. Especially davening a long Shmone Esrei. Of course I don't want to be the first one finished Confused

I always thought I'd need a beginner's minyan. What's very helpful is a shul with ArtScroll siddurim and Stone chumashim.

amother

Chocolate

Tue, Oct 01 2024, 10:48 am

amother Hunter wrote:

Going back to shul after staying home for about 20 years was very challenging. Especially davening a long Shmone Esrei. Of course I don't want to be the first one finished Confused

I'm usually the first one finished. I daven slowly and concentrate but there are girls 30 years younger than me going on and on. What am I missing? It bothers me every year.

boysrus

Tue, Oct 01 2024, 11:48 am

amother Chocolate wrote:

I'm usually the first one finished. I daven slowly and concentrate but there are girls 30 years younger than me going on and on. What am I missing? It bothers me every year.

me too! what am I doing wrong? it makes me feel embarrassed!

amother

Eggplant

Tue, Oct 01 2024, 2:25 pm

I'm actually super excited to go to shul for the first time (other than shofar) in 20 years. My youngest is 7 and I won't be able to go for long. But even if I can go for just an hour...I hope to teach my 11 year old daughter bits and pieces while we are in shul together.

amother

Amethyst

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 3:30 pm

I was also anxious about going but once you're in it you're in it. It gets you into the spirit of the day.