How important hot food Lechayim/Vort

amother

Lawngreen

Tue, Aug 13 2024, 2:49 pm

I am in Israel, so nobody traveled in very far. The nest was about 45 minutes. We did have a lot of salads and somebody made sushi so we had quite a bit of that. When we had tons of kinda fruit, remember exactly what else but I definitely think there was enough food, but it definitely wasn’t dinner. I mean it started well after dinner so I would’ve been surprised if somebody expected a full meal. it’s different if you know, I’m out of town, but I thought it was a great idea. The person that ordered pizza for the family after. Israel usually just food and people are coming to be part of the. Simcha Not eat a meal this is very For maybe idea that there should be a meal

amother

Dill

Tue, Aug 13 2024, 3:38 pm

So interesting to read responses
I've traveled far for vorts and even if there was food I never felt comfortable to sit and eat or feed myself and kids a full meal

It didn't help that there was food
I forsure fed kids before and packed enough or went to eat after.

I'm trying to picture it..you drive let's say up to 6 hours or more then you get to the vort ...sit your kids down and yourself and start bringing full dinner plates to each kid?

Is that what people do?

amother

Mimosa

Tue, Aug 13 2024, 3:48 pm

amother Dill wrote:

Yeah why not? The hosts paid for food for a reason. They want to feed you and your kids.

MommyASI

Tue, Aug 13 2024, 4:50 pm

amother OP wrote:

Hello
Please can someone tell me how important it is to have the hot food by the lechayim/vort?
Both sides are tight on money.
Just wondering how the young couple will feel without it.
Is it the in thing?
Thank you in advance

In my community a l'chaim is usually just cookies and salads served kiddush style in someone's home.

I think if you don't have the money, I would tell the couple because this is going to affect much of their expectations so if you let them know now, you and the couple can brainstorm on how to work within a budget that makes sense.

amother

Tealblue ↓

Tue, Aug 13 2024, 4:56 pm

amother Sienna wrote:

If you are right on money than do what you need to do. However, it's very frustrating to come in with my family only to have to buy food afterwards. It's basic decency to feed your guests.
I have a family member that makes a VERY simple vort. I have to go as we are a very small side. There is very minimal food and it is very hard to have kids crying for food and I am forced to go out afterwards with them or buy food. Everyone including their own married kids live minimal and hour away. It's really basic decency if people are driving in.

Maybe consider taking your own food since you know they are not providing. Or don’t go.

amother

↑ Tealblue

Tue, Aug 13 2024, 5:03 pm

amother Tealblue wrote:

Maybe consider taking your own food since you know they are not providing. Or don’t go.

I didn’t realize everyone else had already commented. This post was completely ridiculous. Especially because I doubt highly that op would not provide food for those who drive in to her L’chaim she hosts. I live out of town and there are absolutely no kosher places so we do provide but seriously if your kids don’t like what I’m making you’re out of luck, so bring your own. The road from x is way longer than the road to y even though they’re equidistant.

amother

Cyan

Tue, Aug 13 2024, 5:06 pm

Completely community dependent
I've only been to vorts or l'chaims which are light kiddush based - mini sandwiches, mini bagels on a platter, cookies and cakes nicely arranged but usually home made or a basic caterer/friends, soft drinks, a bottle of whisky for the men. Fruit and veg platters, small paper plates, no tables, just standing and a few chairs.
Families if needed would get food from whoever they are staying with or bring with. Dress is smart weekday or normal shabbos, or regular day wear if you are a friend (unless this is a friend of the kallah in which case you are on show at all times 😀)

Very informal

amother

RosePink ↓

Tue, Aug 13 2024, 10:57 pm

I'll defend amother sienna here. I get it, I've been there. You're expected to go, you go through the craziness of getting everyone fed, dressed & in the car on time. Then sit in traffic for a couple hours, then spend another couple hours at the event. Once back in the car everyone's grumpy & kvetchy from being hungry & eating cake instead of something more substantial.

Of course you can pack food but I usually don't manage that in the rush & the snacks I grabbed on the way out won't cut it.

Of course you can circle around in a town you don't know trying to find food late at night.

Of course no one will die of hunger.

Bottom line is having some more substantial options for oot guests goes a long way in giving them a more enjoyable experience.

In response to the op, is there a lower cost option that will still offer some real food? Kugels, pastas etc

amother

↑ DarkPurple ↓

Tue, Aug 13 2024, 11:10 pm

amother Teal wrote:

Hot food is not necessary.
If you have guests coming in from out of town, you can have some food prepared for them for either before/after the vort.

Why is it on the baal simcha to give hot food? If you are driving for a few hours pack up something and bring it along. Same as if you were going on vacation. No big deal really. A vort doesn't really have the expectation of having hot food. Especially if one can't afford it. If you know beforehand plan accordingly.

amother

Banana

Tue, Aug 13 2024, 11:16 pm

amother RosePink wrote:

Agreed.
And especially a LChaim where you HAVE to go but don't have much time to prepare.
It's all nice to tell the guests not to have expectations, but these family members are expected to go despite the inconvenience. And often bring all their children. So expectations go both ways.

You don't have to have fancy hot food. But if you think outside of the box, you can find ways to feed your guests on a budget. A few pies of pizza in the kitchen can do the trick. A platter of sandwiches or wraps, you can even make them yourself. I was somewhere where they had to-go sandwiches that was clearly for out of towners.

But of all the things you cut corners on, I think this is the one that will bother the couple the least. It's about the guests more, specifically their family members who are expected to show up with their kids.

amother

↑ RosePink ↓

Tue, Aug 13 2024, 11:21 pm

amother DarkPurple wrote:

I guess it's cultural? In my world if you invite someone you make sure they don't leave hungry.

amother

Crystal

Wed, Aug 14 2024, 12:14 am

amother RosePink wrote:

A piece of kugel is not enough for a hungry traveler. No tenoyim will give you a full meal. Either you pack food for the way or buy something on the way.

amother

Bottlebrush ↓

Wed, Aug 14 2024, 12:25 am

Lchaim or vort used to be drinks, Mezonos and some candy. Nuts and chocolates was fancy. Then fruit was added. Then veggies and salads. Then miniatures and trifle cups. Then kugel. Then sushi. Then a hot buffet.
It was never meant to be a meal- just a refreshment with an opportunity to make Brochos. Let’s scale back!!
If closest family is traveling far, you can have sandwich fixings in your house that they can prepare before or after the party.

amother

Birch

Wed, Aug 14 2024, 5:25 am

At our dc's lechaim two months ago in our house, we served sushi, cookies, vegetable platters, fruit, and cake (some of which I baked and some bought.) I also made a few big trays of meatballs and rice and bought two large potato kugels. Some people came from quite far away and some from around the corner. It wasn't inexpensive, but I saved a significant amount by making things myself and by using creative set up to make it special. Future machatunim sent some of the platters, which was a lovely gesture. OP, is doing some or all of the food yourself an option?

amother

Daphne ↓

Wed, Aug 14 2024, 6:48 am

I am from a culture where you are supposed to feed the guests who travel from far, but does it have to be for everyone?
If my family came for the occasion, I feed just them hot food prior to the beginning snd then I would serve regular vort food in large quantities for everyone, when the vort starts.