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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> School age children
shalhevet
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 Tue, Jul 01 2008, 2:10 pm
I agree that it's a problem.
A couple of weeks ago I met someone I know and she was with two of her sons (who I hadn't seen before). About 3 and 5 I think. The younger one had the most amazing blue eyes. I was with someone else, and she immediately said something like, "Wow, what gorgeous eyes. How incredible. Everyone must say that. etc etc" I didn't know who to feel worse for - the older one, with ordinary eyes, who probably hears this twenty times a a day, or the younger one who probably feels he is only his eyes. If he was mine I'd probably buy him tinted contacts  .
I suppose the only thing you can do is frequently repeat to your child that all of this is a gift from Hashem, and that we are what we do and not what we look like.
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Apple pie
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Tue, Jul 01 2008, 3:56 pm
| peach wrote: | | Sibling jealousy can be a huge thing. I know someone who had three little girls, one of which was much prettier (by textbook standards) than the others. People would always stop her and tell her how beautiful she is, in front of the other girls!!! Don't they realize that the girls are listening and how do you think they feel? The mother would always respond with a compliment to each of the girls "She is very helpful, and did you know that so-and-so is very creative, so-and-so is our quick cleaner-upper, etc." That helped give the kids some feeling of self-worth and also showed the other adult what they were doing. |
I think it is a good idea, to use in moderation (or to vary the compliments) as we should be careful not to cast our children in roles...
Shalhevet, I like the idea of reminding that beauty is a gift from Hashem.
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